Edited seven pages and panicked; where's the next two chapters?
I wrote those.
I remember writing those.
Why aren't they here?
Could I have written them in my notebook and completely forgot to type them in? Think think think!! I was in the cafe, old people kept asking me "What are you typing?" I complained inwardly about how people should fuck off and mind their own business and I bet if I was a man they'd have assumed I was working and not have bothered me but because I'm a woman they had to query what I was typing as if it was any of their fucking business and what I was doing was of no importance!
Then I pulled out my notepad. Ah, the notepad!
OK, where's the notepad?
Not this one. No. Nope. How many of these fucking things do I own? 6. found it the sixth time round. Then for some reason, I'd started writing at the back of the notebook. I'm not left handed; I have no idea why I would do this but I nearly put it down and went looking for more when I thought to flip it over.
Eight pages of notes and beginnings.
Seems I've been replaying these conversations and mechanics over and over in my head so much I thought I'd actually typed them into a form of draft.
I have not.
Although relieved they are not lost, and that I have a clear path to go down, I am disappointed to find I'm not as far forward as I thought I was.
Still a step forward. Will also begin to consolidate notebooks and label them to save me having that panic again. No more hoarding stationary!!