Friday, May 24, 2013

Challenging the Crows and temptations...

I'm trying to write. I struggle with extreme waves of self doubt and avoidance. I avoid writing my story so I can do other things. Worthy things. All the while feeling guilty for not facing up to those "Crows of Doubt" that pick and peck at my confidence.

In facing the fact I'm becoming a career procrastinator I'm writing a list of things I do to avoid facing my fears and writing the story I really want to write. Face up to it.

Confession. Accountability.

I've not written for the past two weeks because my friend asked me to help her organise a fancy morning tea for the Australian Cancer Council. I may have thrown more effort into the charity event than was really necessary, but it was for charity and we raised over $1000, so that was ok, right? I've had a touch of a cold that required me to be in bed with a book at 9:30 every night.

Just today, May 24th, 2013

  • Examined my feet for blisters that may have occurred because I wore heeled boots yesterday.
  • Spent a lot of time encouraging my daughter to count out change for her lunch money. So long in fact we were nearly late for school.
  • Facebook.
  • Breakfast.
  • Decided it was time to clean all the pots and pans.
  • Had a long shower focussing on a moisture treatment for my hair and a salt scrub for my skin. Both treatments were made by me.
  • I managed to edit one page.
  • Coffee break.
  • Facebook.
  • Moved the living room furniture to clean out underneath them all.
  • Conversation with Husband (Who now works from home)
  • Watched the news on the ABC because it's the best quality news.
  • Straightened all my crookedly cut toenails.
  • Watched a cooking show and then emailed the show to ask what brand of frying pan and chef's pan they use because they look really effective. Also commented on how they made an interesting interpretation of Boston Baked Beans and told them what ingredients they missed (namely the bacon)
  • Blogging this list.
It's not even Noon yet.


Beth said...

Hey, know what's a good motivator? Go to a writers conference and look at what other, published writers produce. There's nothing quite like the hard evidence that you can do better than these people who are so pleased with themselves. (And you are a very good writer - you can do better than most without even trying hard.)

That, or a close encounter with your own mortality, to make you fret that all you'll leave behind is empty intentions instead of actual attempts.

Just sayin.

Lyvvie said...

BETH! I've not blogged in a year but I think of you all the time! You are one of my guilt tugs to come back to blogger and cull the facebook time. You're right and I'll look into a local one at our Wheeler Center. I've been shying away down to the cost but I think I should go for it and attend one.

Although now I have anxiety about premature death and leaving nothing.

You are a bittersweet friend. ;)

Victoria Shawn said...

It's good to read your blog again, Lyvvie! I really hope you keep writing. Good luck!

Anonymous said...

Seriously?! Where the shishteshire have you been?! I was thinking of you the other day while packing up my winter gear. I came across the scarf and hat you knitted for me and my heart got a cramp, wondering about you. Then you blog. YAY!

Your husband is working from home?! Omg you poor dear. Write more, wouldja? Xoxoxox

Maja said...

It's amazing how productive you can be when you're procrastinating.