Saturday, January 01, 2011


Happy New Year! I just turned 39. That's enough about that.

I started my Janowrimo today. I was rather excited about it. I've thought about different things during the week but didn't commit to anything. I'm all about not setting anything in concrete. I've re-read  No Plot No Problem by by Chris Baty and even started On Writing by Stephen King again. I forgot how much I enjoyed that book. I did 2040 words and left it off for the day. I'll go back to my notebook, start on the next scene and mini plot. no big plots. One day at a time. It's supposed to be shit after all.

What's it about? Not entirely sure yet. I have a guy who writes a top TV show about psychics, vampires and supernatural everythings, and a woman who became a PI and investigates fake psychics after her Gran was swindled out of a fortune by a psychic who would heal her old age with prayer to some angel guides. He wants to know more about what she does and she's pissed at him for writing the kind of stuff that allows psychics to flourish and be taken seriously."Do you how many pages are taken up by clairvoyants in the yellow pages?" That's about all I got just now. I don't know what will happen, I don't know how they'll get along, although I have high hopes they'll eventually get to like each other. He's a nervous, observant, high energy type and she's a non stop talker who is well known for confusing non sequiturs but is highly organized and devoted.

Dealing with grief a bit just now. Got a call Wednesday from home that my Aunt had died. She'd been in hospital for a few weeks recovering from complications after a hip replacement. I myself wasn't very close to her. She lived in Texas and I only saw her a few times when she came up for family visits. I talked with her a bit over the phone, but the rest of the family had a much closer relationship with her than I did. Harder for me is knowing everyone else is so sad. I'm a weird one with grief, and I accept that. Others may not and that's their problem. I don't get all consumed and weepy. I did with my Dad when he died but I more angry about being robbed of him just as we'd started to have a normal relationship and he didn't think I was a fuck-up anymore. He started to like me as an adult and stopped treating my like his child and it was working for us, so that was hard to let go of. That's the thing with grief, it's like dominoes. In a week I'll be upset because Benji died and I loved Benji movies.

I got a call from Mom today wishing me a happy birthday, but I told her I'm changing my birthday to July. These weeks around December/January are full of deathaversaries. I was born and a few hours later my Grandfather had died (not because of that news, apparently he was happy about me being born) - my own birthday is a deathaversary. So, selfishly, I'm going to remove my birthday from this time which makes everyone sad and remember those who also died around this time of year and I'll just have a quiet champers on July 1st instead. I just don't like the association. *sigh* sadly stuck with it but bummed out nonetheless.

That's all. Happy new year. Be thankful you're alive and live well. We only get this chance once.


jomamma said...

Happy Birthday girl! I agree with you, this time of year can be depressing, too much stress (Jolea's b'day is 12/20.) We lost 2 relatives just this past week. I am glad this year is over though and hoping this new year will be a good one for everyone. Just head on into FB and change your birthday now and in 6 months you can celebrate for 2011.

Anonymous said...

Celebrate your birth, darling. Seriously. If you don't then the terrorists win, er, I mean if you don't then the sad/bad times win. Em's wedding reminded me that we don't get together as people anymore to celebrate good things, we hardly hesitate to get together to wallow in sorrow though. It's weird.

Anyway! 39! Wow! Life is just going to start getting awesome for you! Hang on and enjoy every moment! Much love to you!

jmc said...

Happy birthday, and I'm sorry about the sad family stuff.

Am looking forward to hearing how your Janowrimo goes.