Thursday, May 06, 2010

Bra Burning, Cheeky Brats and Twitchy Rectums

I was walking the kids up to school this morning when I realized I'd forgotten to change from my sleeping bra* - a Sloggi spandex, lite support crop top - to my daily underwired support bra. Although I wasn't bouncing about freely for the world to see, I was uncomfortable enough to know this is not how women of a certain size should go about their daily business.

I romanticize the origins of Feminism being in the 60's when the free loving, birth control pill taking Hippies were stripping off their societal oppression garments and burning them in an oil drum. Freedom to bounce - hooray! But I have to say - bouncing breasts are painful!

The bra is a woman's friend. It's a liberation garment. We can run, play and enjoy many more activities because we aren't suppressing our movements due to painfully bouncing breasts. Feminists burning bras? Nope, sorry to say but that was a dumb thing to do. We should hold bras aloft and thank the inventors for liberating us from corsets. You want to burn something - burn a corset. Tortuous devices those things. A bra is a woman's devoted friend and encouragement to get out and live.

Besides, I believe the Suffragettes were the better Feminists.

* It's a habit I got into while breast feeding as it stopped me from soaking the bed. I keep it as I find it's much more comfortable and I don't roll over and pinch myself under my elbow. I'll let you suss out the visuals.

After taking the kids to school I got back home to start a few chores, bake a coffee cake and practice my crocheting skills. I go to start a load of laundry and find this:
Daughter's note

Cheeky brat! In a cartoon world I'd present her with a sodden notebook smelling of fabric softner. Instead I sent her this for her to find when she gets home:

Daughter's slob pile.

Starting the Dreaded Day 2 (for male folks, that's the second day of the menstrual cycle, notable for it's crampy intensity and grouchy inducing mayhem) and you know how sometimes you get a weird muscle spasm that doesn't hurt but just twitches randomly on repeat? I often get one in my right eyelid and above my right ear for some reason. It's bad enough that whenever it happens my first thought is "SPIDER!!" but today I got one a few inches up my jacksy and it's kind of weirding me out. Ever happen to anyone else? Anyone? Just me...? Ok.

9 comments:

jomamma said...

Good post. It reminded me of something I read probably in an email joke... A professor in a medical class asks a female student "do you know what your ass-hole is doing when you are having an orgasm?" She replies "probably fishin' down at the creek." Sorry, that's what I was reminded of.

Lyvvie said...

My college anatomy and physiology teacher told us that joke in class! Although his punch line was "He's at home watching the game"

heartinhand said...

Sleeping bra?! OMG I would feel so confined! I let my girls flap free whenever I can, mind you, I'm practically a titless wonder.

Anyway.

LOVE the note you left for your daughter! LOVE IT!

What the frick is a jacksy?!

jomamma said...

That would work too Lyvvie, but here in Texas, the guys are either gone hunting or fishing, the women are usually watching the game too.

I'm with you Heartinhand... we could have club jackets.

Lyvvie said...

Jacksy is one's anus and/or rectum. "I'm gonna kick ya up the jacksy if ya don't get a move on!!" is how we hurry up slow people. It would also make an amusing, albeit aggressive, invitation to dance.

jomamma said...

It sounds like the name of a dance, "You jacksy much better than you rhumba."

mr. pineapple man said...

HAHAHAH omg too funny!! My mom always wrote me a note saying how I should clean my room before she calls the police.

phonakins said...

I'm pleased to have a lack of breasts which enables me to go around braless on my lazy home or sick days :)

Maja said...

Geez I would have thought it would be obvious enough if the dirty item was in the laundry...

I love a good supportive bra. But I don't need one to sleep in. Lucky like that.

I get that eye muscle spasm sometimes, too. It's really annoying. You wonder if other people can see it when they look at you.