Monday, February 22, 2010

After a few drinks I'm free to explain...

I've made an appointment to see the "Lady Doctor". I do attend my regular smears and what-nots, but this appt is special because I have a particular problem that's finally manifested into a nuisance and I think it's time I had it fixed.

I have a vaginal prolapse. EW...cringe in horror! It's revenge of the deformed fanny coming atcha! Not only do I have no labia left on the left side thanks to Shorty's enormous head and the many stitches it took to repair the birthing damage, but now there's a bulging bit. Childbirth is a fucking pain and I don't mean just the physical ache but the aftermath!

I've had the merest incontinence problem. Tiny drips. If I don't drink coffee, they don't happen. If I don't jog they also don't happen. If I drink coffee and then jog, I must change my undies. *shrug* Not so much a hardship really but slightly embarrassing if I've been dehydrated.

I can still have sex, still do all the normal things that one does with a vagina, but this last menstrual cycle seems to have been a bit too pushy-outy and I can actually see and feel things I never could before and it's freaking me out. Also, I'm finding it hard to poop. When I poop, it seems to want to come out of my vagina and I have to push the bulge back where it belongs. That was where I draw the line and have decided to go to the doctor's and have it looked at.

Of course it's horribly embarrassing! My girlbits have been through enough. Have I mentioned the enormous heads of both my children? 95th percentile heads on both of them. It's no wonder I've started turning inside out. I think it's been like this since Shorty was born, but with extensive Kegels and watching what I drink and suchnesses, it's not gotten so bad. I wonder...if the menstrual cup has aggravated the problem. If the suction on removal has helped pull everything out? Seems a bit extreme. I'll have to ask on Monday.

I complained to the Dr before about painful movements during my periods but was told "It's normal". Now, since the bulging bit, the pain has subsided. It's all too weird.

Yet when I started looking into the possibilities I read that 1 in 2 women over 45 have this problem. Every other woman on this planet. That means half of the women you know have a bulging bit out of their hooha! Why aren't they talking about it?! Why did I have to think "Hmmm...I'll just keep that to myself!" Why do I have to be the one to say it loud and bloggy-like? Part of my vagina is poking out. It's totally normal, happens all the time. No, I can't just shove it back in, trust me, I've tried.

Appointment is next week. I'll let you know if I need surgery. I don't recommend the YouTube videos of the surgery if you're weak stomached. I had to stop half way through. But, it seems highly likely that's going to be my future. More vaginal sutures. Fucking hooray.

Where's that wine, I need a refill?


jomamma said...

Every other woman!? Wow! I've only ever heard of you and one other woman having this. But just think, once you get her all rejuvenated you'll be like a new girl.

Beth said...

Good god.

Badger said...

ALL of the women in my family have had this problem. Not just prolapsed vagina, but prolapsed uterus as well. I don't have it yet, but my time is coming, I'm 100% sure. Here's hoping your treatment/recovery isn't too heinous!

Oh, and the fucking menstrual cup gave me a UTI! ARGH. I love my cup, but I really don't want to go through THAT again so I'm not sure what to do. Take it out before I wee every single time, even if it hasn't been that long since I've emptied it? Empty it LESS often so there's not as much inny-outy friction? Just don't use it and become a shut-in two days out of every month again? I dunno. Am sad.

Anonymous said...

Oprah did a show on prolapsed uteruses once, it is more common that we'd think! Also, women who have their uterus removed have a huge chance for their bladder to fall into that place. Yeah, your bladder falls out of your vagina.

Isn't it great being a girl?!

Darling, you will have to keep us posted on this. Seriously! If 1 in 2 are affected by this, one of us could be next!

Anonymous said...

Oh lord. Disappearing labias, incontinence, and prolapsed vaginas? I hope you are using this to make the girls feel guilty. I imagine you can get a lot of milage out of this.

Keep us posted.

Lyvvie said...

Well, every other woman over 45 who's had kids. I think I felt the need to be in a larger circle.

No offense, but Good God could've done a better job on the plumbing, I'm just saying.

Ahhh, Badger! You may be the lucky one. I've not heard of UTI from a cup. I tend to use a baby wipe around the area before re-inserting so there's no bacterial cross-over. I hope you don't have to shut in, that would be criminal and cruel.

Sure, I'll keep updated. More half-cut blogging, Hooray! I hadn't told husband about this, so had a sit down with him and let him know. He's taking Friday off work so I can get an earlier appt. He's very supportive but I had to feel for him a bit because as a man - what can he say? "You'll just get that taken care of soon." Which was his way of saying whatever I need. He's a good lad.

Dingo - There was an artist in the UK who takes plaster casts of vuvlas and displays them in his studio. A whole wall of them. It was shown a doco about how women are having plastic surgery to alter their vuvla. When you see this wall you're immediately struck with the reality: there's no such thing as a typical hooha! Every one is completely unique. I really wanted to make a contribution to the wall. (Seriously reigning in on the obvious course pun with contribution and vuvla casts) Here's a link to the documentary. (The wall is shown in the intro)

jomamma said...

I guess I lucked out. But my sister has a twisted uterus. They told her it was a 50/50 chance she could carry a baby. So she opted not to.

Lyvvie said...

Born with a twisted uterus? That's interesting. I have a cousin who was born with 2 uteruses, and she's had a pregnancy in each.

jomamma said...

Did she get pregnant in both at the same time?

My sister's uterus was twisted up like a cinnamon roll.

Lyvvie said...

No, not both at once. She had to be bedridden for each pregnancy and it drove her nuts because she's an active, sporty person. They're a few years apart.

Your poor sister!

Sy said...

Lyvvie, thank goodness for women bloggers or I'd NEVER know anything about all this stuff!!

Most of the doctors I have met act like nothing really goes wrong down there and if you think that there may be something wrong, it's all in your head.

jomamma said...

Sy, Lyvvie is a wealth of knowledge. I have learned abouso many things from her, I learned about Bento boxes and Diva cups from her, just to mention a few. Had I not read her blog I would still be buying tampons and eating out of baggies. I feel so wise and worldly. BTW one of my friends that I just talked into buying a Diva Cup got a UTI just last week. She seemed to think it was from all the inny outty business. But she's not going to give up on it. I think she should leave it alone, it's not a tampon, you can go for hours with it in place.

tornwordo said...

A friend of mine had her vagina "fall out" as she put it. I imagine it's the same thing. If it really is that common, it seems ripe for a money making idea. MAybe a kind of scaffolding to keep things in place? Clearly, I'm not well-versed in the biology though.

Brook said...

This is long yes, but for a good reason. My MIL is a semi hypochondriac. I say that because she thinks she's sick more often than she is but also she has had pretty bad things happen because of her blind trust in doctors who know everything. Basically with her, if something can go wrong-it does. She had a voluntary hysterectomy when she her hooha started falling out(her sons were LARGE babies-13 lbs each). Not to scare you, but fully check your options and possibilities cause I sure don't think she was informed of what could happen. Her first surgery was open abdominal to kind of "tack" things back into place with the help of a "sling" strung between her tail bone and pubic bone(I'm not sure of the exact particulars but you get the gist). Later, about a year after this surgery that included to voluntary removal of her uterus because "heck, we'll have you open anyway" her bladder fell down and out through the empty spot and she's gonna have to have more surgery to fix that. The second surgery will again be open abdominal with them using some kind of mesh to anchor all of her organs in place. You know, her liver, stomach, small and large intestine and her bladder. They are all falling down. MAKE SURE YOU CHECK AROUND! I'm pretty sure if she had known that the little useless organ still serves a placeholding function after menopause she wouldn't have said "sure take that sucker out". I'm not sure when she's planning that second surgery but the first one took a long time to recover from.
There is her scary but true story.

Maja said...

aaaaaargh!!! Now I'm scared about having children.

jomamma said...

Maja... do your 'Quigleys down under' as the hubby calls kegels and Google best abdominal floor exercises. They aren't just good for having babies they're good for making babies too.
Tornwordo... scaffolding? Can't wait to see the infomercials for that one. I'm off to stand on my head for awhile.

Lyvvie said...

Nah, the kids are worth it. I'm told there are non surgical options, one being a pessary which is like scaffolding inserted to help hold up the bladder. The information about them is fairly vague on the internet (from my 10 minute google) some can be worn during intercourse, some not, some need changed every couple weeks, some every few months.There are lots of options and best is to sit down with the Dr and discuss them all. I have read that one should not lift heavy things or be too vigorous with pessaries as they can fall out. With my fitness regime, that may not be the best option for me. I'll find out tomorrow.

Liz said...

Yep, Ive noticed my "floor" sagging a bit lately, too.
2 kids, but both extremely small +/- 5 lbs each.
So don't blame it on your big headed young-uns.
And the poop bulge, yeppers. But I find it handy for pressing and obtaining full evacuation.
Gross but true. :))
Mata e