Thursday, February 26, 2009

I don't like bad dreams...

They make me all paranoid and self conscious. This was a doozy; one of those long involved full-blown story dreams.

It started with me living in an apartment building that was more like a dorm. Remember that TV show in the 80's with Tom Hanks where he dressed up as a woman to live in the women's only building for the cheap rent? Bosom Buddies it was called. It was like that. There was a woman there, very small and frail, who sat like a Buddha on a really cool wee pie wedge shaped sofa. She was so thin and old looking, and yet she was the same age as me. Starving herself and smoking non stop on my Mother's brand, Merit 100's. It was the old yellow and gold wrappers, or were they always blue? Smoking and surrounded by ash and dust covered pistachio seeds. Yet she was regarded as some Sagely figure to the girls who lived there. She died - you could see that coming, right? She died and everyone was distraught. For some reason she left me her car. It was this pristine 1940's Chevy all gleaming black and chrome. It was chock full of extra parts for emergency repairs.

Then, for some reason, I wanted to talk to my "Boyfriend". This was my ex - oh yes, it's an Ex dream - the bastard. At this point we're over but still friends and hooking-up occasionally as it's comfortable and easier than finding someone new. I go to his house and it's empty, so I let myself in and start making some lunch. Pasta, garlic bread, mini pizza ball things I've never seen in my life but may try and figure out - like golf ball calzones. I'm in the kitchen, laying out the plates, when he comes in with another woman and her daughter. I'm completely mortified as he's obviously on a date (With a girl who looks like Soliel Moon Frye) and I stammer that I was just making a lunch but he's busy and I'll get out of their way, smile, pretend calm. Then his father walks in, and this is a man who always casts a negative energy anywhere he goes but for some reason he's lapping this up. I leave and go to my immense and shiny car, only to find that his Dad has boxed it into the drive. And it has a flat.

So I figure I'll sort the flat, knowing they're all watching me, and all I want to do is get away. I'm rummaging in this beast of a car for the cross bar and after much hating myself, telling myself it's definitely over now, and I wished I'd moved on first instead, and how embarrassing, he'll tell all our friends, I am a pariah. The Ex comes out as I finish the tire to move his Dad's car, but before he does, I apologise, assure him it'll never happen again. and I bend down to the trunk to put the crossbar away and he kisses me on the back of my neck. I'm so pissed off! What the fuck are you doing? You have your family, your date and everything going on - even a dinner I made - and you're kissing my neck? Fuck off you base covering bastard. I was so pissed. I was so mad, I did that falling into dream twitch and nearly hit my Husband.

So scramble into my car to get out of there but now it's full of Buddha girl's stuff. like bags of clothes, pocketbooks, and stuff. I shove through the stuff and drive away.

When I get back to the apartments, I see Buddha's chair out the sidewalk for the trash collection. I say that I want the chair - it's a really nice design. Everyone says it stinks to high heaven and the smell will never come out but I figure a good clean will sort it. I take the stuff from the car inside and show it to everyone. They're all taking things that they want as I don't want any of it. The handbags are all full of pistachio seeds and cigarette packs. At that time, I wished she were there as I wanted to tell someone what had happened, but I told no one.

That was it. Hated that dream. Somehow it was funny when it happened to Monica on Friends when she had Tom Selleck's bed covered in rose petals when he brings a date back home. Not so funny my way.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

I Get Chills

When I hear this song. I don't know why certain songs give me this very strong physical response. Barbara Streisand does it for me too in Funny Girl. I'll listen and then swirls of chill will run up along my spine, through the middle of my shoulders to the base of my neck my and over my scalp, collarbones, race across my forearms and down my shins. Goosebumps will rise on my arms and shoulders and then my nipples erect and I'm pretty sure my hair will stand up as goose flesh too. It can range from gentle and barely there to painful enough that I have to run the taut skin down. Ever get goose-pimples so fast and hard it hurts?

I wonder if it's chordal dissonance thing. I wonder if it's an endorphin thing. I wonder if it's a fucked up brain thing.

I can even think of the music and evoke a skin response.



I keep hoping she'll get through the slower passages and start banging that piano again.

Anyone have a song that makes this happen to them?

Monday, February 23, 2009

Simple excitments

I was very pleased to find that the giant Tesco has started carrying Grape Nuts cereal again. I love grape nuts. It fits my morning perfectly. I find breakfast a minefield of problems. I used to always eat a large breakfast, I was the breakfast girl. But when I started going to the gym and jogging in the morning, breakfast became a problem. A big problem. What I ate determined the quality of my workouts. If I ate too much protein I'd burn through the calories too fast and be starving mid-workout, too much cereal and I'd be over full and bloated and feel like I would heave at every corner. I have to eat breakfast, as hunger pains in my workouts are very painful and distracting. Grape Nuts is the only breakfast that makes the perfect balance. I can eat the recommended 30g with soy milk and small handful of raisins and the hunger is gone, the energy is there and I'm not so stuffed I end up with a stitch in my side or feeling like I'll puke. I also don't burp the whole time I'm running which is nice too and an unfortunate side effect of corn flakes and/or omlettes. The best part is, it keeps me from thinking about eating until about 11-12 which is when lunch is - and isn't that the whole point?

Having started following the Paul McKenna diet plan (That is an awkward sentence - yuck - do over) I started Paul McKenna's diet plan in January, and struggled here and there because I have food anxiety and also treat anxiety with food. I did follow the full book with all the visualizations and trying to love the parts of myself I actually dislike the most, and sure it was ok but always felt, you know, silly. But what I completely appreciate and have clung to are his four rules (Eat when you're hungry, Eat what you want and not what you think you should have, Eat slowly and conciously and enjoy every bite, When you are full stop eating.) and those are where I focus my attention and practice daily. It's not been easy, it's hard to change a lifetime of faulty wiring and having to constantly question what I'm eating and why I'm eating which was, in the beginning, a fucking chore! But I get it now, it's habit and it works. It's working. The weight is coming off, slowly and properly. My exercise and stamina are up (When I'm not playing swap the cold with the family) and the two pairs of fat jeans which were the only two ones I had to fit, are getting big, and the tighter ones are starting to fit. Motivation comes from success. So if I let myself succeed, even a little, I get those rewards. Sure the worry of, what if I get down to my goal weight, I look great, I feel great and then for some reason I forget everything and go back to old habits and gain it all back? Well, I ask myself that a hundred times a day. I have to keep saying, we'll not know until we get there, so stop worrying about it. Just get through today, one workout, one mile, one meal at a time. In the end, the only one who can support me in this, is me.

So I'm really happy the store has Grape Nuts, again. So happy in fact that I bought two boxes.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Need a sit down...

Ran a mile in 7.51 minutes.

Now, can anyone explain to me how these kinds of ...folks...can exist in the world? This is a current dialouge going on at a friend's blog. It's frightening:



(From Cameron)
The Japanese sure do seem to LOVE President Obama!

Look what they have created now: Obama-maki zushi.

obama-makizushi

You take a square of nori (seaweed, lay down rice, insert various meats, fish, vegetables, roll it all up into a big cylinder, and cut off slices. I guess they used brown rice...

Can you imagine the minds of the people to have thought up how to lay this all out so that when cut, you have the face of Barack Obama?

For anyone who thinks Obama is HAWT, now is your chance to dive right in and take a big bite!

I love you!

Cam

P.S. Not for the carbohydrate-weak-at-heart.

Note: Image lifted from: http://gawker.com/5156001/obama-sushi.

Special thanks to Dunnster for always finding the most insane stuff!

15 Comments

bikn wrote today at 1:57 AM
If the Japs love Obama so much......we'll gladly get rid of him, and they can have him.
lyvvie wrote today at 2:31 AM
I'll have to borrow this for my Bento blog. Thank you!
cam wrote today at 2:33 AM
Bikn4god - You say "we"... who do you mean? Certainly not the USA because the USA ELECTED Obama. Do you perhaps mean "I'll gladly get rid of him"? If that is the case, please tell me (us) what it is that you personally don't like about his policies, even though you haven't given him enough time to try out his policies on the American economy which has pretty much collapsed, thanks in a big part to the Republican government's policies over the past eight years. Do you think it would have been prudent to elect the McCain/Palin party? If so, please state your personal reasons and your own perceptions as to why you personally think they could have done a better job.

Oh, and there is one rule here: Please RESPECT discussion with other people without resorting to any name calling, or any insulting what so ever during your debate with the numerous folk who will likely come to engage you in your discussion.

I'm just curious, but did you perchance miss two "i"s in your name?

Lyvvie - Go for it! I love you!
bikn wrote today at 2:41 AM
cam said
Bikn4god - You say "we"... who do you mean? Certainly not the USA because the USA ELECTED Obama. Do you perhaps mean "I'll gladly get rid of him"? If that is the case, please tell me (us) what it is that you personally don't like about his policies, even though you haven't given him enough time to try out his policies on the American economy which has pretty much collapsed, thanks in a big part to the Republican government's policies over the past eight years. Do you think it would have been prudent to elect the McCain/Palin party? If so, please state your personal reasons and your own perceptions as to why you personally think they could have done a better job.

Oh, and there is one rule here: Please RESPECT discussion with other people without resorting to any name calling, or any insulting what so ever during your debate with the numerous folk who will likely come to engage you in your discussion.

I'm just curious, but did you perchance miss two "i"s in your name?

Lyvvie - Go for it! I love you!
Personally, I have no use for any politicians, especially a Socialist like Obama. McCain would have been the lesser of the two evils, but I have no confidence in him either. The American people may have "elected" him, but that doesn't mean they're excused from being duped. He has been in office for almost 5 weeks, and his polls already dropped 10 pts. He has back peddled on his campaign promises, installed criminals to cabinet positions, and the damage will continue. I don't feel sorry for those who voted for him, because they will reap what they have sown. Unfortunately, those who did not vote for him will be sucked up along in the vacuum.

As for my name....I did not forget the "i". It is, what it is.
pthi wrote today at 2:43 AM
cam said
what it is that you personally don't like about his policies,
I'll tell you...He's a Socialist who is questionably eligible to hold the office and further in bed as it were with a more nefarious collection of criminals and enemies of OUR Nation than you'd be hard pressed to find. The infatuation by foreign countries and expatriates of OUR Nation speaks for itself...
bikn wrote today at 2:48 AM
pthi said
I'll tell you...He's a Socialist who is questionably eligible to hold the office and further in bed as it were with a more nefarious collection of criminals and enemies of OUR Nation than you'd be hard pressed to find. The infatuation by foreign countries and expatriates of OUR Nation speaks for itself...
Amen! He's a Chicago criminal thug, and a Socialist-Communist. And America is already getting a rotten taste in their mouths, and it's only been 5 weeks.
bikn wrote today at 2:52 AM
You say Americans "elected" Obama. Germans elected Hitler too.
cam wrote today at 3:07 AM
When you say "socialist", would you please elaborate? I say this because in the earlier years, the American government sadly linked "socialism" with "communism", and then convinced everyone that "communism" was the antithesis to "freedom" which is what America tried to make itself to stand for. Unfortunately, that mistaken understanding still holds true in many American conservative minds, and again, unfortunately, it is false. But false truths are often the most difficult to remove from our minds as our egos never like to admit that they are wrong, and they will go to no ends to be "right", even if it leads to destruction of the vessel.

And now of course the republicans (I won't say "conservatives" because there are conservative people who follow the democratic platforms) have linked things like universal health care (Canada, UK, France, etc.) with "socialized medicine". They use this as a propaganda tool to dig into the egos of those who are still brainwashed to believe that "socialism is evil incarnate", and thus "socialized medicine", which works much better than the "rape and pillage medicine" system of the USA, is scorned as being "non-democratic" or "not of free will" because those people believe that government should have absolutely no say in the matter and that the market "will decide". Well, my friends, this market is messed up and it does not balance things properly, as Good Old Alan Greenspan has found out when his decades of policies based upon traditional economic THEORIES (= guesses) finally came together in what the entire world is calling an "unprecedented" economic disaster.

The republican policy messed up, and because the USA is the leading global power, they are taking everyone else down with them in an unprecedented "towering inferno", much like how the Twin Towers were entirely decimated.

"Let the rich party and the poor and disappearing middle class suffer" doesn't cut it Mr. Skull and Mr. Baghead. Unless you want to go and live alone on a deserted island you have the honour and duty as a member of society to support and serve everyone else. "Every man, woman and child for themselves" leads to exactly that: anarchy. And unless you are an anarchist, I highly doubt you would want people running helter skelter through your homes raping and pillaging your wives and children. An extreme example perhaps, but we must seriously all support one another because one day you two, just like me, will be too old and invalid to support ourselves. Do you want to be chucked into the trash bin?

By the way, I assume it's somewhere in the late late night / early morning for you guys... don't you think you might have something better to do than comment on this blog about FOOD? Like... SLEEP perhaps?

Oh, when I say ego, I don't mean "egotistical" in that sense. I mean it from the psychological perspective, the ego.
pthi wrote today at 3:17 AM
Ahhh the bleeding heart Communist bubbles to the surface...Your Utopian sense of globalist equality has never worked and never will due to the innate laziness spawned by the nanny state mentality you so zealously profess....Mediocrity is the forte of your happy happy joy joy theosophy...All one big blissful family of sheeple.
lyvvie wrote today at 3:18 AM
Seems the folks in OUR nation share that infatuation, as was previously pointed out. Being an expat myself only meant I had to dig deeper, do research, to find all the information I could on all the candidates. I'm pretty sure a lot of Americans living in the USA didn't bother doing that, as proved by the whole fiasco of folks believing he was Muslim.

Questionably eligible? Are you sincere?

pthi wrote today at 3:23 AM
lyvvie said
Questionably eligible?
Why has he not released his original birth certificate? He was born in Kenya...All it would take is for him to authorize release of the document in question...He refuses and the courts dance around the issue...He is a charlatan and a fraud...As he will intimately be proven.
bikn wrote today at 3:24 AM
This country was not formed to be Socialist, Communist, nor a Democracy. It was formed to be a free Republic, with representatives elected by the people to work FOR the people. We, as American citizens do NOT work for the government.

Socialist systems do not work. Bolshevic Russian Socialists - Failed. German Socialists - Failed.

There's two examples right there.

We do not have "rape and pillage" medicine in the US. We have the best technology and health care in the entire world. World leaders have come to the United States from other countries to be treated, because their own health systems are inferior. The infestation of vermin lawyers, filing frivilous lawsuits against medical personnel and hospitals has driven health care costs through the roof, and not all have been able to afford insurance here. It's not a perfect system, but compared to socialist systems, mismanaged by govenments, it's pretty damned good. When we can get lawyers and politicians out of medicine, it would be more affordable to all. Unlike socialist countries, our hospitals don't turn away people due to inability to pay. They get health care anyway. Millions of people get treated in emergency rooms here who have no insurance.

My Canadian friend lost her father because the Canadian socialist health care system would not approve of him getting a heart transplant. They figured that he might not live past 5 years, so they didn't approve the surgery. He died before she could get to him. Nice system. Perhaps Mary would have loved to spend 5 more years with her Dad. But she won't now, will she?

You have alot of nerve referring to the Twin Towers. They were brought down by terrorists, not Americans, or even our government. No one here, not even jokingly, could be compared to those murderers. And if your system there is so good, then why is your economy affected?

Perhaps you'd better stay in Japan. ( God knows why. ) Americans will get fed up with this Socialist crap soon enough, and revolt. We're known for that. You can duck and hide in Tojo-land.
bikn wrote today at 3:25 AM
pthi said
Ahhh the bleeding heart Communist bubbles to the surface...Your Utopian sense of globalist equality has never worked and never will due to the innate laziness spawned by the nanny state mentality you so zealously profess....Mediocrity is the forte of your happy happy joy joy theosophy...All one big blissful family of sheeple.

Amen! Damn sure is a "nanny state" mentality.
to the grave......the government will save us! All these Communists will get from me will be a bullet.
bikn wrote today at 3:26 AM
lyvvie said
Seems the folks in OUR nation share that infatuation, as was previously pointed out. Being an expat myself only meant I had to dig deeper, do research, to find all the information I could on all the candidates. I'm pretty sure a lot of Americans living in the USA didn't bother doing that, as proved by the whole fiasco of folks believing he was Muslim.

Questionably eligible? Are you sincere?

If he's not a Muslim, he might as well be. He's kissing the butts of terrorist nations worldwide.
bikn wrote today at 3:29 AM
pthi said
Why has he not released his original birth certificate? He was born in Kenya...All it would take is for him to authorize release of the document in question...He refuses and the courts dance around the issue...He is a charlatan and a fraud...As he will intimately be proven.
He proved to be a "snake doctor" before he was elected. So far, he's put criminals into cabinet positions, and has proven to associate with the lowest form of political vermin you can think of. It's only because he promised the lame and lazy $1000 checks, that he got elected. And he renigged ( no pun intended ) on that promise!!

He's a slick talker, just like Adolph Hitler.


That's just out of control nuts, right? I mean, Cam makes a post about neat Japanese making an Obama sushi and these two wage in with the hate, lies, full blown racism and
twisted views. Sensitive much? Touchy...just a bit? Can McCain be proud of being the Champion to the Ignorant Rednecks?

Here's hoping the Change comes and they can eat crow. then again, they may already.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Struggling with my face

Not pleased with it these days. Looking my age. Always with the fat face, even when I'm slim I've got a fat face. I'll have jowls one day. I'm not at my best at this time of year. I definitely look better after a bit of sun. I just look tired all the time. I find I don't even bother to look in the mirror anymore as I'm disappointed with my reflection.

New Haircut
The cruelest light

Full sun, squint eyed, showing all the dark circles left since pregnancy as the "mask" never faded so I always have this slightly soured colour around my mouth, eyes and a faint mustache accentuated as I've not waxed yet which wasn't an urgent situation until full sun hits my features.

Self indulgent fool that I am. (Not fishing, just telling)

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Big Dicks

There's a google bomb if ever, right? But it's what I saw!! I was feeling a bit queasy so didn't follow Husband into the oh-so-fun electronics shop while he bought cables. I stayed in the car with my book. And I looked up and saw Big Dick's Land Rover.

Oh Really?

Then Dick himself came along.

Oh Really?
Oh Really?

I wonder what his day job is?

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Because We All Love A Happy Ending.



I want to put him in my pocket and have him say nice things to me, too. If you've got 15 minutes spare, you'll love this too.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

There ought to be a law...

...against pious twats using disasters, natural or man-made, as a sign that God is pissed at us. They really should be slapped with a penalty. Blaming people for not following religion as explanation of tragedy. If the lottery commission blamed all of those who didn't buy a ticket for the bush fires in Victoria, Australia then they'd be reprimanded. But some zealot with a "mission" says it's Victoria's lenient abortion laws that's displeased the Almighty and he's allowed Satan to reign fire upon them, he just gets a small condemnation from an otherwise supporter. I say fine him and fine him deep.

"God's protection has been taken off the state, and Satan is having a go at the nation," Mr Nalliah, senior pastor of Catch the Fire Ministries, told The Age.


Article here.

Anyone else a bit icked out over the irony of "Catch The Fire Ministries"? OH - I found the original posting on their CTFM website, where Danny tells us he had a dream predicting the fires. Of course he did. He's obviously one of those rank evangelist charlatans.

Here's hoping Victoria has an equal balancing atheist groups as starting one myself seems like such hard work.

Friday, February 06, 2009

One more thing...

Please go have a laugh at the comments attached to the Playmobile Security Check Point. They are brilliant! Have a nice weekend, friends. Also some of the "Customers also bought" list is interesting. I fancy some pocket uranium...wonder if that'll set of alarms at the check point?

Tossing Opinions

I'm going to throw in my opinion on this recent news of Christian Bale's tirade on set. If you've not heard about it I'd like to know the rents on the cave you're living in, because if I've heard about it then it must be bigger news than I think because I'm always the last to hear about this kind of crap because I'm seriously displaced from Hollywood drama - blissfully displaced I'll add.

Yet I've read a bit of Christian Bale hate about this so I followed the links and had a listen - go here to listen if you've not heard it....go on we'll have coffee and cookies. No worries - I'll save you one!

So he's pretty pissed, right. Here's what I think: He's absolutely justified to be pissed off. From what he says this isn't the first time the DP has wandered onset during filming. Where's the support from the director? "I didn't see anything..." Nice. What exactly were you looking at, then? It's no wonder Christian's popped a vessel; and the guys keep coming back with mumblings and laughing and it's obvious Christian is on the tension wire. He's into the job, he's trying to get the shoot done and wants the day over and he's working with muppets. Let's also take a minute to consider the fact they're working on yet another Terminator sequel. How hard must that be? I mean it's pretty much a joke before it's started. Terminator sequel? Again? Bryce? *sigh* Let's just get this shit over with so we can go home and drink the reality of this situation away for a couple weeks. Sounds to me like he's been working with clowns and finally let off some pent-up steam.

Now when I'd heard he went off on his own Mom, that was far more shocking but since his career didn't end with that revelation then I think he'll weather this fairly well. Just won't ask him to babysit anytime soon. Also, I love how the media blows up the arrest but never followed up in Sept 08' when Bale was to appear in court. Or not that I've seen. Not that I care, but you'd think, wouldn't you? For the full story? But no bigger better candidates come along and it's all forgotten.

I love the remix though and want it on my iPod.


Also, Sara Benincasa's Anne Hathaway rip was even better. The DP (no S, fuck off!) bit was my favourite.

OOPS! It seems when the BBC reported Bale's tantrum, they forgot to edit it first. Teehee.

Monday, February 02, 2009

SBD Double!

Lyvvie - why hast thou forsaken the blogging? I dunno. Weird enough is I have plenty to blog about and not much interest in typing it out. Lazy cow. I think I've just let the running commentary in my head flow unchecked and unwritten which is a waste of mental energy really. I figure if I'm going to expend is much energy in thinking up so much inane shit then really I should the least I could do is write it down and share it. Often in the writing it down, it stops and doesn't return.

Does anyone else insist on fixing their own typing errors without resorting to the program dictionary? It's a personal challenge to be able to fix them myself. Fine to underline them but I like to fix my own typos. Some words are always typed wrong, like their. I always type thier. Just saying.

So I read two books this weekend. Fancy that! I went into the library on Friday and picked up four books, thinking to myself I'd never get them all read before the two weeks was up because I'm not in a commit to something kind of frame of mind - or more the point my committing to something is taken up right now on the running and weightlifting and listening to hunger as opposed to kitchen grazing. That all occupies a lot of my fidgeting time. But I have a missing left thimbnail to prove I read most of the weekend - damn bad habit this nail biting but I've got my right hand perfect, but the left sneaks in when I'm not paying attention so I'm missing the thumb and index fingernails.

First book I read was lightning quick and I only picked it up out of curiosity. It's My French Whore; A Love Story by Gene Wilder. that's what got my attention, a love story written by Gene Wilder? Let's just talk about Gene Wilder for a moment, or just listen to me talk about him...there I go with the auditory speech again! Trying to stop that - read my opinions instead. Gene Wilder breaks my heart in every movie I see him in. It's those eyes of his, those eyes that tell so many stories at once. He hides so much depth of feeling and I've always found him very intense. And yet he's a comedian. Who breaks my heart with his eyes and he's written a love story.

It's a really short book, novella really. It was hardback, and larger print so it looked weightier than it was, but it's over in a couple hundred pages. It takes place at the start of WWI, 1918 where out Hero, Paul Peachy is an actor in small town theater. He's just had a great final night and he's headed home to his wife. The magic is gone from their marriage, she doesn't want touched, it's depressing. Paul wants to be loved, wants affection and he's had a cold shoulder for six months now.

One day he was out and sees a troop of soldiers about to be shipped off, all being hugged desperately by wives and girlfriends. Large PDAs everywhere that make him feel envious. So he enlists in the army. He realistically figures his wife won't care so he tells her in a letter that he's going to Europe, but he's paid the rent for the next three months and has gotten her and her mother their jobs back at the bakery. That was thoughtful, don't you think?

In the trenches on the front line not 200 feet from the advancing German line Paul's captain speaks to him. He wants Paul to talk to this German POW, because Paul can speak fluent German. He does and has a very interesting conversation with who turns out to be a very famous German spy who just escaped from the UK. After a few shots of brandy he tells quite a bit and Paul is impressed and the two have instant rapport.

The next morning, the command goes that they're about to storm the German front line. Over the trench everyone goes and are almost immediately slaughtered by gunfire. Paul freaks and runs towards the edge of the woods. He gets away and keeps going a bit farther, hearing the gunshots, having run, knowing he's a coward. There's a tap on his shoulder and the Germans are all around him. They begin to set him up to be shot on the spot when something gets into Peachy's head and he begins to shout, in German at the officers. He goes so far as to convince them he's a German officer undercover, reprimands them, insults them and demands to see the commanding officer. He begins to take on the persona of the German spy who turns out to be a military hero the German echelon.

What follows are a series of events that has Paul jumping fire to be one step ahead of the Germans and maintain his secret identity. Luck being that since the other guy was a spy, no one knows what he looks like.

The love story almost comes second to Paul's adventure. What stands out is how very much he wants to be adored, admired and loved. He wants someone to think he's a hero, and yet he knows he's a coward.

At some time, the German commander-guy asks Paul to come with him to interrogate an American soldier. It turns out to be his Captain. Paul comes up with a plan to get the Captain out of jail with his life. The rest...well I'll ask you to read the story. I loved it. For its brevity it's filled with action, romance, humour and sadness. Could anything Gene Wilder does not have a line of sadness through it? I found myself complaining that it didn't have to end. Why couldn't...WhatsHerFace be in the French Resistance? Were they in WWI?? Ah, apparently not. Damn. I still love Gene Wilder, even though he breaks me heart everytime I look at him.

The second book I read was The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold and I read it on recommendation of a friend. It was a hard book for me to read for a couple of reasons; one being that my particular brand on anxiety plays out in morbid daydreams of loved ones dying and how I'll cope with their deaths, or my dying and wondering how others will cope with my death. It's taken a long time to teach myself to not delve into those morbid thoughts so reading a book about a fourteen year old rape and murder victim who spends her afterlife watching the ruins and reconnections of her family and friends was a bit difficult. Secondly is I'm not a big crier. I'm not one of those women who is moved to tears easily. In this book I was bawling by page thirty and it continued pretty much unabated for the whole book. I began to hate the book for making me sad. However it's so well written, and in an easy-to-read style that I carried on.

I carried on with tissues nearby. Would I recommend it? Sure. I think it's one of those books that leaves an impression. Having Susie tell us of her death makes it harder and easier all at once for me to accept it - but then I know the facts and her family does not. Watching their pain was very difficult. Did the story try to be a thriller? Not really. Did it try to be coming of age in the afterlife? Kind of not really too. I don't exactly know where this book was trying to get me. Maybe the overall message was Time Heals All Wounds. As it went, about half way through I began to wonder - where are we going, Susie? What's the point of this book? Where's the plot? Will they catch Mr. Harvey? *sigh* my attention is faltering.

Then there was a bit near the end that I highly disagree with. I'll discuss from now so if you've not read it...skip along after the red.

Of course I'm talking about the scene where Susie possesses Ruth. So does she tell Ray who killed her or where her body is? No, she has sex with him instead. Huh?? I mean her first sexual encounter was the rape before her death so I was surprised she'd have wanted more than the kiss she talked about all the time. I mean they were right there - right at the spot where her remains are, and she never says "Oh just so you know, I'm down there too. In a safe." I found the whole scene desperately annoying and unnecessary.

So there we are. I liked how it was all wrapped up. Although I'd have preferred a better outcome for Harvey. Both books are worth a read.

Now I have to go eat dinner because it smells so nice and my tum's growling. Bye...