Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Radio Gaga

I'm on the fourth week of the radio course and it's going pretty well. It's a lot more sales/advertising focused than I previously expected. I genuinely thought it would be about learning how to use all the technology, but they seem to think that's such a small part of it. Radio as a whole is a mega-business. All the advertising is either prerecorded or read live and is an amazing amount of hard work. There's one person responsible for scheduling all of that stuff and keeping it all flowing and keeping track that KFC isn't advertise next to McDs etc. and at the moment it's all a bit overwhelming when trying to fill in those small spaces of time between songs with; radio tagline, introduce yourself, weather, time, advert, short laugh, intro next song and go. It's high energy stuff and yet when listening to the radio it all goes so seamlessly. The traffic supervisors here in Oz all tend to be women, as well. Hardest job in radio, women dominate. I like that.

I'm still stuttering and stumbling and forgetting to turn off the mic while I call myself a fucking dingbat - but it's ok as there are no regulations against swearing here. I could say cunt a dozen times on the radio and not get fined. People would complain and I may get fired, but it's still completely ok! Also, I'm not on live radio, yet. I've been booking in a lot of time in the studio to practice getting used to talking in that way. I keep trying to imagine I'm just talking to my frineds, but then I don't normally update my friends on the time and weather every 10 minutes.

This is a writing job, something I'm feeling a bit more confident with - although when it was introduced that the station does a majority of the advertising following a slim brief from the client, I was a bit ARG!! But chilled out again because - I Can Write! I write a blog for fuck's sake. I've spent years trying to a write a novel that I struggle to edit and yet radio advertising is 100% edit to fucking essentials or else it'll run over time. So maybe this will be great practice.

I've got to write four 30 second commercials; roughly 70 words each and then present them in a mock radio show in which will be sprinkled some gossip and local events and public service announcements.

I'm a constant adrenaline rush from the second I get there. Ignoring the panic attacks. I'm told it's normal, and the rest of us are all exactly the same. We're all, also, about the same level of crap. I began to read ahead in the and have been practicing for assignments we'll be doing in 2-3 weeks time because I want to be good. Really good. I like being top student. Well, maybe second top student. Top students are often crabby. I need to be high energy and chipper to a fault! At least confidently laid back and fun. I've even gotten into the habit of cruising the Celebrity news online in the morning because the statistics say that Melbourne has far more women that in men
in population and that their number one favorite thing (in the 25-40 demographics) is celebrity news and gossip. True true. Scandalous and a bit shame worthy - only to me because I don't think I'm a gossip whore and I find celebrity gossip vapid and dull, but apparently I'm in the minority. So this morning I was talking about JLo's 11 hour long sex tape (It's not really 11 hours of sex, some of it is her fighting with her Mom which I would find far more interesting than seeing her shagging someone, but again I'm aware I'm in the minority on that) and also about Fergie Ferg who's been married a year and her husband has already been caught cheating with a stripper. *eye roll at cliché* What kind of thrill do women get from this??? Is it really that we like seeing famous people put on pedestals and then knocked off again? What kind of sick people are we in society?

It's fun, I'm enjoying it. It still scares the shit out of me, but I hope that will fade soon. The more practice I get in the studio is better. Shame I have to take Shorty with me. she is a bit of a distraction and she gets bored pretty quick even though she's got crayons, colouring books, Nintendo DS, iPod you name it. She's just not one of those kids who can spend time on her own. Today she was such a distraction I left early, which was dissatisfying as I'd had trouble with the computer in the studio and it wouldn't playback the audio and it took a total reboot to get working again (Damned Windows machines are utter shite). I have that trouble with computers all the time. They love to crash and burn when I get near them. Coincidence, purely!

Have I told you how hot it is here? It's been in the 90's since Saturday. Scorchio! I just thought I'd share that.


Marg said...

It's not even summer yet! LOL!

This is a bit of extraordinary temperature heatwave for November.

I am enjoying reading your adventures in radio.

northern musings said...

Sounds like lots of fun. I used to the Icelandic bit on the Scandinavian half hour on the ethnic station in Perth. It was a hoot. Didn´t have to worry about advertising though as it was a charity "free to air" thing.

jomamma said...

I knew you'd be good at this! And the fact that you don't have to censure your banter is even better. Here's something you can talk about... the hair pulling soccer girl from New Mexico. That seems to be getting the guys all worked up.

Rox said...

I'm glad you're grabbing your fear by the scruff of the neck and saying "C'mon, fucker, let's DO this!"

I've been listening to Rosie Radio on Sirius XM every morning for two hours. She talks very little about celebs, geared more towards regular people. It's amazingly intriguing!