It's a strange flux I'm in where there's a flood of activity to get things moving in the right direction to an easy, uncomplicated emigration - as if there is such a thing but I plan to find the utopia - and winding down on the things that have been a regular in my life for the past 14 years. I will admit the winding down part has lead to an unusual nostalgia phase for me. This is unusual as I'm not an overly sentimental person.
I find I'm rehashing old longings for home; missing things like half-n-half, lobster plates on Cape Cod, and Jell-o brand of gelatin and pudding. I'm missing driving a car. I drove extensively from the age of 17 until I emigrated at 23. Hundreds of miles a day most days. I loved day trips out to the Mohawk trail and that freedom of not having to report where I am, and being accountable to no one but myself. Long gone are the days. Moving to Edinburgh I found an amazing bus system, easy walks to shops and everything on my doorstep. I went from "Are you kidding? That's like a mile away and I'm not walking that" to averaging four miles on foot on a typical day. Now I have people looking at me funny with a silent whine "Can't we just drive?" Nah! We can walk and I'll show you some interesting things, promise. I became an urban wanderer. Did you know off any of the small side alleys in Edinburgh you may find a secret historical treasure that's probably not been paid any attention for decades? It's true! But I'll also wager the same thing exists in your own city. When the city is "home" we just don't bother. We take home for granted. When home suddenly becomes a very foreign place it's like Wonderland.
Sadly, over the years, Edinburgh has become more like Home as opposed to the place where I live. I've not found the exciting nooks and lost treasures, I've stopped seeking them. I have other things to take up my time, responsibility. How dull. How disappointing of me! I go through this kind of dialogue every year and eventually, usually around Spring, pick up my camera and go treasure hunting. Then the lust for life returns, my youth returns and joy is there for all. As everyone knows, when the Mama is happy, the house is happy.
This Spring, I've not had the luxury of the conversation of Awakening discovery, as on my horizon lies the biggest adventure. The newest one, and it's far bigger than Scotland. Sorry Scotland, you've been aces, but Australia promises more. Also, it promises to have jollier, happier more laid back people who don't blank, ignore and regard strangers, foreign or indigenous, with extreme prejudice. Maybe a slight exaggeration, and certainly not for all of Scotland, but certainly for Edinburgh it has its cold shoulder for strangers, even for their own. Glaswegians however will be friendly to anyone. Why didn't we move there? My Husband is from Edinburgh. It's taken 14 years of my interference to deprogramming the poor, shy soul. Now look at him! Ready to take on Emigration to 10,000 miles away! He's come so far.
So what are we looking forward to? China Town, open markets (I've missed Fanuile Hall!), parks (New Parks!), museums(New Museums!), the graffiti and the wonderful bustle of city life. We've missed being central to the action, although the suburbs offer the nicer homes, we have to admit, as curious, engaged people, city life really is our forté.
What am I expecting? I have no real expectations*. I have a feeling Aussies are happier folks - hell anyone must be happier than the Scots. I'm looking forward to the differences, the words, the slang, the outlook. The politics are completely foreign. I'm told Australia is a more racist country and it's a Catholic country and it's not got as many societal boundaries. I'll have to wait and see. How can a place that relishes the arts, culture and diversity of own indigenous peoples be so racist? I'm really looking forward to seeing what the truths are, as there are so many interpretations. At this point, everything is hear-say. Until I'm thrown in the middle, I'll not know for sure, and I'm hopefully optimistic that it's going to be a place of adventures to last me the rest of my days.
If not, there's always Japan.
In other news: Oh holy hell (Ree inspires me to swear like a W. Virginian) my kids are driving me frikkin insane! They are both off their heads hyper as it's Shorty's birthday today. She's five. Happy birthday Shorty. She however thinks today is a get out of jail free day and is being a wee shit. Encouraged by her also hyper and enabling sister. They're both about pushing the limits, and I'm short on limits just now. Or, I'm long on limits. I have tons of limits - in fact the line to cross to get grounded is merely a sneeze not covered or even a pair of dirty socks left on the floor. I'm fucking merciless. They better watch it!
Now I feel guilty and will have to make a love cake. I love my kids! They just make it hard when they bug me so much, to show them. I better stop talking about it before the social services start checking in.
I'm so moody.
*Apart from a whole lot of fun, a whole lot of awe and the excitement of meeting new people and seeing lots of different cultures and feeling a part of the bigger world.