They make me all paranoid and self conscious. This was a doozy; one of those long involved full-blown story dreams.
It started with me living in an apartment building that was more like a dorm. Remember that TV show in the 80's with Tom Hanks where he dressed up as a woman to live in the women's only building for the cheap rent? Bosom Buddies it was called. It was like that. There was a woman there, very small and frail, who sat like a Buddha on a really cool wee pie wedge shaped sofa. She was so thin and old looking, and yet she was the same age as me. Starving herself and smoking non stop on my Mother's brand, Merit 100's. It was the old yellow and gold wrappers, or were they always blue? Smoking and surrounded by ash and dust covered pistachio seeds. Yet she was regarded as some Sagely figure to the girls who lived there. She died - you could see that coming, right? She died and everyone was distraught. For some reason she left me her car. It was this pristine 1940's Chevy all gleaming black and chrome. It was chock full of extra parts for emergency repairs.
Then, for some reason, I wanted to talk to my "Boyfriend". This was my ex - oh yes, it's an Ex dream - the bastard. At this point we're over but still friends and hooking-up occasionally as it's comfortable and easier than finding someone new. I go to his house and it's empty, so I let myself in and start making some lunch. Pasta, garlic bread, mini pizza ball things I've never seen in my life but may try and figure out - like golf ball calzones. I'm in the kitchen, laying out the plates, when he comes in with another woman and her daughter. I'm completely mortified as he's obviously on a date (With a girl who looks like Soliel Moon Frye) and I stammer that I was just making a lunch but he's busy and I'll get out of their way, smile, pretend calm. Then his father walks in, and this is a man who always casts a negative energy anywhere he goes but for some reason he's lapping this up. I leave and go to my immense and shiny car, only to find that his Dad has boxed it into the drive. And it has a flat.
So I figure I'll sort the flat, knowing they're all watching me, and all I want to do is get away. I'm rummaging in this beast of a car for the cross bar and after much hating myself, telling myself it's definitely over now, and I wished I'd moved on first instead, and how embarrassing, he'll tell all our friends, I am a pariah. The Ex comes out as I finish the tire to move his Dad's car, but before he does, I apologise, assure him it'll never happen again. and I bend down to the trunk to put the crossbar away and he kisses me on the back of my neck. I'm so pissed off! What the fuck are you doing? You have your family, your date and everything going on - even a dinner I made - and you're kissing my neck? Fuck off you base covering bastard. I was so pissed. I was so mad, I did that falling into dream twitch and nearly hit my Husband.
So scramble into my car to get out of there but now it's full of Buddha girl's stuff. like bags of clothes, pocketbooks, and stuff. I shove through the stuff and drive away.
When I get back to the apartments, I see Buddha's chair out the sidewalk for the trash collection. I say that I want the chair - it's a really nice design. Everyone says it stinks to high heaven and the smell will never come out but I figure a good clean will sort it. I take the stuff from the car inside and show it to everyone. They're all taking things that they want as I don't want any of it. The handbags are all full of pistachio seeds and cigarette packs. At that time, I wished she were there as I wanted to tell someone what had happened, but I told no one.
That was it. Hated that dream. Somehow it was funny when it happened to Monica on Friends when she had Tom Selleck's bed covered in rose petals when he brings a date back home. Not so funny my way.