Saturday, March 29, 2008

It's that Guess My Ten Movies MeMe Thing

So lots of folks have been doing this and I resisted for as long as I could, so here are ten movie quotes - guess the movie.

Only three left - any takers? I'll close this by 5pm GMT if they're not figured out and I'll be filled with guilt for being too damned obscure. Hints? Well one is a horror movie of an H.P. Lovecraft story, one won Best Film in the Academy Awards and the other one is a brilliant (and my favourite) animated film which was nominated for an Oscar.

1.) LuLu Got it! "Any fool can get into college. Only a select few can say the same about Amanda Jones." Some kind Of wonderful

2.) No One got it! How disappointing!"You're never going to receive credit for my discovery. Who's going to believe a talking head? Get a job in a sideshow!" Reanimator

3.)Raina Got It!! "I just want you to feel you are doing well. I hate for people to die embarrassed." The Princess Bride

4.) "No, No, No! Don't do this! Help! Help! Crazy lady with the shovel! If you kick me out that door, the castle could collapse!" Howl's Moving Castle

5.)Strayed got it! "In Hawaii don't they use aloha for hello and goodbye?
"Yeah, so?"
"So if you're on the phone with somebody and they won't stop talking and you say, ok take care, aloha, don't they just start over again?" Miss Congeniality


6.)Raina got this one too... "This is an embarrassment. A disgrace. What do you think R.J. Fletcher Senior would be saying if he were alive today? "
"Help me out of this box, I can't breathe in here. Help, let me out." UHF


7.) Ree Got it!! "Oh Mrs. Crane, you're a little monkey woman. Yeah, you're lean, mean, and I bet you're not too far in between are ya. How'd you like to wrap your spikes around my..." Caddyshack

8.) No one got it! How Disappointing! "Are you a man of good character where women are concerned? "
"Have you ever met a man of good character where women are concerned?" My Fair Lady

9.) Donna Hath Got it! "A woman is the most fiendish instrument of torture ever devised to bedevil the days of man." O Brother Where Art Thou?


10.)NWJR Got it!! "The weird thing is, this Maxine likes to call me "Lotte". "
"Ouch. That is hot. Maybe she's using you to channel some dead lesbian lover. Sounds like my kind of gal. Let me know when you're done with her, yeah?"
"What are you talking about, "Done with her", man? Tonight really freaked me out! Being John Malkovich


Ok, there you go. Have Fun!! Try and keep it to one guess per person (Like I get that many visitors in one day - ever the optimist!) You can e-mail me a full list if you're keen to show me your mad movie skillz to lyvvie@gmail.com

Friday, March 28, 2008

News Abounds

There's a lot of interesting things blowing about the internet. News stories that make me thing Wow, oh my and you can't be serious. It's made me realize that there's always something going on somewhere, that the world is vast and yet small. What's caught my attention this week:

Mafia conspiracy cheese!

Darwinist expelled from ID Propaganda flick called "Expelled".

But they accidentally let Richard Dawkins in... And then Myers and Dawkins reminisce.

The Earth is flat and bigger than the Sun. Which, after trying to understand the half iris theory, reminded me of Father Ted's "Those cows are far away."

End Of Term Town Orgy! Yet something else I must talk to my daughters about when they become teenagers - end of term doesn't mean it's ok to have an orgy on the town green.

Miss Bimbo where you can create, dress and sex up and get implants for your own bimbo and become really really popular! (Another thing to talk to my girls about; Bimbo doesn't equal popular in a good way) The website isn't responding, perhaps they were shut down?

I ask myself often and never answer the same twice, but is news and media there to amuse or scare me?

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Walk with my Macro

I have a Konica Minolta Z1, which is a great wee camera but it is old. It's only a 3.2 MP but when I bought it that was hot shit (I paid nearly £300 for it, it's now worth about £80. don't you hate that?). I think it still takes brilliant pictures and I'm such a newbie, still, that I have no clue how to tweak pictures with photoshop or anything, so what you see is what you get. I found a website (In Spain) that still sells additions for this camera and I bought myself three macro lenses - I had no idea I could even use macro lenses on this camera because it had no obvious place to screw them on to! (I was nervous about buying from them as it's not UK, not the perkiest site and I've never heard of them - but their prices were good so I took the chance. Glad I did! Excellent service and a handful of boiled sweets were thrown into the bag. that's a very Spanish thing to do and I think it's great.)But it does work and I'm just giddy with excitement. Next month I'll get the polar density lens as I always have problems with sun flare - is that what it's called when the sun gives everything a purple halo?All the time I've had this I've complained I couldn't get the detail in my pictures that my eye can see. Now I may get that chance. Here's a few pictures from my walk yesterday - not all were with the macro. The beach scenes are from a place I found and have never been to before; so exciting! Today I'm going to walk to the marina.

Macro Play
Dalgety Bay
Dalgety Bay
Daffodils
Dalgety Bay
Dalgety Bay
Macro Play

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

I couldn't do it.

I was looking for recipes for something to snack on that would work with my low carb diet. I found this recipe for chicken muffins and I thought it sounded ok, plus each muffin had only on gram of carb. Even better, but when I looked at it I kept thinking; that's not a muffin recipe. That's not a muffin recipe. There's nothing there to make a batter. Muffins need batter to become muffins. What this recipe was, was a meatball recipe. Maybe an omelet recipe.

But I thought I'd give it a try. I got so far as to get all the ingredients into the bowl and then ready to spoon into my muffin pan when I just had to stop and fix it. I was about to put meatball mix into my muffin pan and that's just not right. If you're going to call something a muffin you must have batter! So I added a half a cup of soya flour and 100ml of light cream (I'll have black coffee for the rest of the day, I guess). It looked much better. It felt right.

Now they're cooking and it's weird but all I can smell is cinnamon muffins. There's not a bit of cinnamon in the mixture, but I must have impregnated my silicone pan with cinnamony goodness. They've cooked really quick, and they're quite eggy so I was right, they seem more like an omelet in a muffin pan - or it would've been if I hadn't changed the recipe.

How do they taste? Well a bit too salty, but not bad at all! Next time I'll use unsalted chicken seasoning and add the cheese into the individual muffin sections. Here's recipe and pictures:

12 ounce cooked and diced chicken (2 cups)
2 eggs
1/4 cup celery, minced (1 small stalk)
1 teaspoon dry minced onion
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1/2 teaspoon chicken seasoning (or use 1/4 teaspoon poultry seasoning and 1/4 teaspoon salt)
2 tablespoons pimiento, minced (optional)
2 ounces cheddar, shredded
1/2 cup soya flour
100ml light cream

Mix all ingredients well in a medium bowl. Spoon into 6 well-greased muffin cups. Bake at 350 30-35 minutes, until set and lightly browned. Makes 3-6 servings


Low Carb Chicken MuffinsLow Carb Chicken MuffinsLow Carb Chicken Muffins


A quick entering of figures into Fitday tells me the recipe stats approximately:

Total: 895
Fat: 47 422 48%
Sat: 21 187 21%
Poly: 8 72 8%
Mono: 14 122 14%
Carbs: 20 61 7%
Fiber: 5 0 0%
Protein: 97 389 45%
Alcohol: 0 0 0%

Not bad for a low carb recipe. Quarter that for per muffin in my makings. And, piggie that I am, I ate them all, two for lunch and the others before dinner. I was really hungry after walking all over town and coast with my new camera toys (I got macro lenses!). Pictures tomorrow.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

You must be having a laugh...

I found this link today on Yahoo news - don't ask why I was there - which tells us the ten eight (couldn't make the ten?) best careers to go for if a stress free life is what you seek. because stress is something that's killing so many. Hating a job, spending 60hour+ a week doing that job we hate and all for a pension we may not live to enjoy enough. Have no fear, there's eight careers to try for that you can even study in your spare time and earn an online degree. What are they?

  • Accountant
  • Preschool Teacher
  • Nursing Assistant
  • Financial Planner
  • Massage Therapist
  • Pastry Chef
  • Graphic Design
  • Desktop Support
They are having a Laugh! Accountant? In Tax season, are you insane? Hell no. Next?

Preschool teacher...spend my day wiping noses and dealing with tantrums of kids that aren't even mine, I don't think so.

Nursing assistant...that's a nice title for bed stripper, shit wiper and puke cleaner, almost as tantalizing as Preschool Teacher with added bonus of sponge bathing pervy old men. Yikes to the third power.

Financial Planner, well now I could do this one, I did it a wee bit of this when working at the bank but the problem I have is with people who listen to my advice, nod their heads, leave feeling inspired and motivated and then went and did the complete opposite or nothing at all and had the cheek to say my advice was faulty. Not fun.

Ok, next is Massage therapist - big no; having my hands on greased up people doesn't sound fun, plus after standing hunched over someone for an hour I'd be the one needing a massage.

Pastry Chef - The hours are a bitch and granted I'm a morning person but 4am starts don't ever sound fun. Plus - I'd eat the profits. I just would.

Graphic design...sitting on my ass trying to make pictures and sell them doesn't suit my personality very much. I would become embittered.

Last one is Desktop Support. Do you want to answer calls all day and be the person with the condescending voice who has to ask "Is the computer plugged in?" all damned day? Yeah, me neither.

What do you think would be a better list of Stress Free Careers?

Monday, March 24, 2008

Disorganized mess.

Of course disorganized mess is a weird thing to say but it is my life at the moment. Completely self inflicted and my worst habit ever. I create my own problems. Well, don't we all at one time or another?

So I want my house to be clean and perfect, like any house of someone you go and visit and there's no dust and you think "She must have hired help" but she doesn't, she's just that damned slick. Like Bree on that housewife show. I also want to be able to read the books I want, along with the books I need and then I also want to write the stories that have been popping into my head at every opportunity lately.

I told my subconscious mind a week and a half ago that this writer's block has been a plague for long enough, and would it please help me dream of a good story? That night it ignored me. So I asked again the next, and the next. Then one day last week I was walking through the woods, absorbed in a daydream when two words hit me; "Walter Mitty" suddenly I realized I didn't need a sleeping dream to find my inspiration because I'm constantly besieged with daydreams that I could use.

So I've been trying to pin down a daydream or two to use. The thing about daydreams is they rarely have a beginning, middle and end. They seem to be flashpoints of drama, typically the apex of the story or the resolution. I find picking the story backwards a bit hard. I don't even like swings because they go backwards for the half the ride, so working backwards on a story is a major challenge. So I asked you folks what your daydreams were like - not fantasies, but daydreams. There's a big difference. How we view ourselves in our daydreams through the eyes of others, the control of how they react - it means we're all storytellers for those flashes. You try and pin one down and write it out, It gets difficult when the conscious mind interrupts with things like "Isn't that a bit egocentric" yes that's the point. But day dreams aren't real life, and real life can't progress when full of daydreams. Hence, Walter Mitty. Thurber wrote an amazing story, there. And Danny Kaye in the movie version, although blown up and Hollywoodized, still. Danny Kaye was brilliant. Oh, He really was.

Right come back to the post, Lyv. See what I mean. I was trying to make a point about all this stuff I want to do, and I know how to organize my day so that I can achieve it all but darn it if I can't manage to get myself to actually apply the skills of self management when the internet is just so damned fun. As is my DS. And manga. And this book I'm reading. Photos. Online pinochle. The world is eminently so engrossing I just can't ever get a thing done. I manage to keep the clothes clean, and the house isn't throwing spores from neglect and filth, but it's not perfect. I feel I manage to do just enough to make it look like I put in a bit of effort, and that I was just so busy I couldn't manage everything and so far; no one else is bothered.

But I know I'm a slacker, always have been and may always be, and I don't want to be. I'd love to be neat, tidy, slick and in control. An hour of light tidy every morning after breakfast, two hours of writing with 45 minutes of personal mail and blogging, then lunch and get Shorty off to school, an hour at the gym, come home and wash and swap the wet laundry into the dryer before going to get the kids after school. Come home and help kids with homework and get them to tidy their room a bit, change sheets on beds, start prep for dinner. Then after dinner get the kids bathed and off to bed, sort and fold the laundry all ready to be put away in the morning. An hour of study, Pack lunches, tidy kitchen, wash dishes and then I can get maybe an hour of TV before bed. Yeah. See that would work. *sigh*

So I'm writing. It's not going badly, apart from the awful voice in my head that tells me every sentence I write is absolute shit. I just have to tell it to shut up. Just shut up. All of a sudden, now that I'm writing again, I'm having nightmares. Last night I got one the minute I fell asleep, I woke up twenty minutes later and had to go for a glass of water. Twenty minutes of sleep! All down to anxiety, and in this dream the anxiety was a Tyrannosaurus Rex, stomping through my house, destroying it in its attempt to find me and Shorty. Shorty kept crying, and I couldn't calm her down. Then she runs away from me, and I can the T-rex spot her and I go to grab her back. Ugh! it's just annoying. I know it's all me running from my fears, and great that my subconscious mind makes those fears into the shape of a carnivorous dinosaur. So real and yet completely extinct. Defunct. Non-existent.

I do find it weird that my personal battles are fought between sloth and a T-rex.

I think what I need is to remind myself that perseverance is one of those traits that takes practice like everything else, and above all, I want to persevere.

per·se·vere (pûr'sə-vîr') intr.v. per·se·vered, per·se·ver·ing, per·se·veres
To persist in or remain constant to a purpose, idea, or task in the face of obstacles or discouragement.



I wonder how I could get that to look like a nice tattoo? The right font, the right place...Hmmm....
perseverance

Ahhh! I should become a Ninja! The character for the word nin in ninja means ‘to endure’ or ‘to persevere’. It combines the character for knife on top of the character for heart, it means to go on despite having your heart under the knife!

Thus, a ninja is somebody who perseveres with his heart’s intentions even under threat or pressure.

This ninja philosophy is really simple to remember, and is summed up in 2 words: keep going.


Is there a character for having one's heart in the jaws of a hungry dinosaur? Probably not.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Friends! Tell me your daydreams...

Imagine if you will that you are a mousy, quiet never raise your voice or argue kind of person. You are often taken advantage of and are quite the pushover. But in your daydreams you are a hero, a master and an admired expert. What are your daydreams when you are the best there can be? What triggers these daydreams? Share with me your fantasies of when you are the absolute best person on this Earth.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Sticky Hair

Such a pain in the ass!

So I'm rather annoyed with the American Govt. They went and changed the passport applications and rules of application a few weeks ago and never told me about it. So all the forms I researched, printed, organized into poly-pocket folders and post-it noted and was so damned slick and perfect you'd be dead impressed with my attention to details: fucking useless! We still ended up sat in a hot busy office with me refilling in forms and shoving birth certificates, marriage certificates and yes - they even took a photocopy of my blood donors card. I'm not lying!

See, I'm first of all, very, very bad. I let my passport expire about five years ago. I've not made any plans to go anywhere so it never became an issue. But apparently I've left myself in a very vulnerable position by doing so. So I got the finger waggle and stern look from the lady on the other side of the bullet-proof glass. Also, I don't have a driver's license so in all reality: I have no proof of ID. Funny enough, that never stopped the banks from giving me credit cards.

The big new rule they changed in February was that to get Shorty her passport and register her as an American citizen, I must prove that I lived in the USA for five consecutive years, and two of those years must be after the age of fourteen. I'm currently praying that my schools - because I changed high schools in tenth grade - will still have that information on file. So I've spent my morning sending e-mails to the two out of three of the schools (one doesn't have e-mail - how dumb is that?), with fingers crossed, that I'll be able to get my transcripts, and that they'll post them internationally. Actually, I'm hoping that the Consulate will be happy to take printouts, as it would save all of us a ton of grief for them to e-mail the mail and I print it out. But this is the consulate we're talking about. Chance would be a fine thing, as they say.

I seriously hate this kind of shit.

the other annoyance is the woman behind the counter was 100% prepared to assume I knew jack shit and did everything wrong. She said to me "You've obviously not looked at the website" well yes I did, extensively, in December and January when I got all of my paperwork together; it's not my fault the rules changed a few weeks later. She nearly shrieked at me for not filling in the information about my American address - I don't have one! I'm a permanent resident here in the UK. She'd then flip through my passport in an angry manner through the large variety of stamps and visas I've accumulated over the years to find the numbers to prove my statement, with an exaggerated sigh. Not my fault, not my problem.

In the hour we were there, four other families came in to register their births and get passports for their babies, and every one of us got the same spiel. So I'm not alone, and Ms. StroppyPants can eat me.

At least SassyFace's and my passports will be processed. It's just the new info for Shorty that's required. Such a frustration.

I'm positively devouring the Death Note books. The stories are completely awesome. I'm so sad...and yet it's brilliant. The attention to details in the drawings is fabulous. If you like manga or comic books - get this series. It's just Awesome.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

My Daughters will be So Excited!

Dr. Kawashima in schools? Apparently so!

By James Sherwood [More by this author]
17th March 2008 13:35 GMT

A daily 20-minute ‘brain training’ session on the DS Lite appears to help improve kids' learning and behaviour skills, according to research conducted by government educational body Learning and Teaching Scotland (LTS).

The organisation recently ran a ten-week trial at Dundee school St Columba's Primary. Children aged between five and six spend the first 20 minutes of every school day playing More Brain Training with Dr Kawashima on the handheld console.

Teachers reported rapid improvements in pupil behaviour, co-operation with other kids and their ability to focus on lessons.
Related stories

The study also recorded recognisable improvements in pupils’ mental arithmetic skills, concentration levels, quality of behaviour and ability get on with tasks on their own.

The trial has been so successful that daily sessions with the software may be implemented in other Scottish schools, LTS said.

Although the report’s findings seem positive for children, there’s no official recommendation that adults will get the same benefit by playing the game before work each day. However, it’s another weapon in your armoury of excuses if your boss catches you playing with a DS Lite during working hours... ®


Can you hear the moans "We didn't have DS Lites when I was in school! No we got smart by using our brains!" Oh, it'll be fun to see. I only hope the school provides and doesn't expect me to put up for the cost.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Three year olds are Fab...

Just dropping Shorty off at school and leaving her with Mrs. Kane, her favourite teacher.

Mrs. Kane: Did you have a nice weekend?

Shorty: Yes!

Mrs. Kane: Are you ready for some fun today?

Shorty: Yes!

Mrs. Kane: And what's Mummy up to this afternoon?

Shorty: Mummy's planting dildos in the garden!

Me: *Choke* Daffodils. Daffoldils, I assure you.

Can you imagine?

dildofarm

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Fuck you Mother Nature.

It's a nice day. I figure I'll get out, plant some bulbs, get the seed propagators started and get the moss killer into the lawn.

I start to read the instructions for the moss killer. Only use when ground is damp, rain isn't predicted for a couple days, and never when rain is immanent. I come to the computer and check the local forecast; no rain predicted until Wednesday. Brilliant. so I go out and start spreading the pellets...and it fucking begins to rain on me.

Mother Nature you are a Bitch and you can shove your fucking rainbow right up your arse.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Town Center Surprise



**Correction: According to Wiki, a cist is pronounced Kist, with a hard k sound, not like cyst, which I say in the video.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

What my kids get up to when I'm not around

My kids love the Photobooth program on the Mac. I found these pictures when I went to look at the nightmare that is my hair. Aren't they sweet?

My KidsMy KidsMy Kids
My KidsMy KidsMy Kids

Banging my head

Having a doubt day.

Feeling: useless, unmotivated, surly, crabby, unloved, disrespected, ill, bored, anxious...

I want to quit, but I want to win. I want to succeed but I don't know how. Or where. I want to be loved and admired, but I want to be invisible and private.

I want to watch a movie and forget the day, but I don't have the attention span for it, and I can't pick the right film. Nothing appeals.

I'm lonely, but I don't want to talk.

I don't want cake and I don't want meat.

I want someone else to sort and fold the laundry.

I want time to stand still so I can waste some time, all for myself, and not worry about taking it from someone else. They take it from me, and I let them. I shouldn't, but I do.

I want to soak in a hot bath where the water never goes cold before I'm ready to get out.

I really want to veg out. It's become a lost skill. Adults call it meditation, but really it's just vegging out to snooze music. I can veg out to Twisted Sister. I can veg out to silence. A proper veg out and you can hear nothing.

I wish they made supportive push-up bras for an E-cup.

sigh.

I have coloured my hair and waxed all unsightly hair from my face. I've exfoliated. I'm making an omelette for lunch.

This kind of post can go on all day and never actually get very exciting.

Monday, March 10, 2008

It's all so distracting.

I spent the whole of my weekend doing for others. I don't mind so much, and that's the truth. I went and did grocery shopping for myself and Grandma Betty, I groomed my MIL's dogs (That's two cocker spaniels; one stripped, one sport cut and two greyhounds which you may think would be not much grooming but those skinny short-haired angels shed tons of coat.) and wandered around the mall for a couple hours while Husband figured out what phone company and phone he was going to upgrade to seeing as he'd become completely fed up with Vodafone. I bought a Writers Magazine to see if there's any competitions I may want to enter. Lucky for me there is. I've never won one, which funny enough, just makes me want silly and outrageous things. I'm done with being serious, as it only leads to ulcers.

My only regret was that Sunday was a gorgeous day, one of the few we've had in weeks and I would've really liked to go into Edinburgh and do the video I've been planning, but the dogs were scheduled and it would've been bad to cancel last minute. Husband said "There will be other nice days," which I hissed and warned him not to curse us with another six months of rain. Monday's Weather So Far: RAIN. Bastard.

Diet is going rather well, apart from the tragic falling off the wagon last night when we had Chinese food. I did order the egg fooyung. But I couldn't resist a spring roll or two and it came with a sweet (very scary red dye laden) sauce...anyways. Back on the wagon today. I weighed myself this morning and haven't lost anything over last week, where I lost six pounds. I'm not too bothered. One excellent sign is I'm waking up with energy and not slobbing about in my bed desperate to get back to sleep. I wake up and the first thing I want to do is bounce out of my bed, and that's after six hours of sleep. A completely different story from a month ago. It could be the diet, it could be that it's light in our room at six in the morning now, or a combination of both. I woke up yesterday at six a.m., thought about how to make a curtain for the window as the blinds let in too much light and then put my gym kit on and went out in the gorgeous morning. I racewalked 5K in 45 minutes, before breakfast, and felt wonderful.

However, wonderful doesn't last forever, I also notice I'm rather quick to get frustrated with the constant demands from my kids, and I snap at them. So far, not bad enough to get them bursting in tears or anything, but still, I don't want to be grumpy Mom. I'm just tired of hearing "Mommy, can I have..." which interrupts whatever I'm in the middle of doing. That's the crux of it: I hate being interrupted! Kids are nothing but one big interruption, often a welcome one, but not always.

****
TMI Poo Talk Shall Begin****
Now - the TMI portion of this post refers to the problem with the diet I mentioned at the end of my last video. Those who are squeamish about poo should stop and skip this section. The rest of you may carry on.

I'll have to start with my childhood, which was very lonely, frustrating and stressful. I wasn't a confident kid, and I didn't relate well with other kids. I wasn't popular and I was bullied. This caused me extreme anxiety, and still to this day I get nervous in group situations. One of the side effects of this stress was constipation. I was a constipated kid, but something very wrong was going in my bowels; it made my poo the size of a baseball. Big, round and impossible to pass, often for days. Eight year olds aren't meant to poo baseballs. The other problem was once I could pass it, it was too big to flush. For most of my childhood there was a bent coat hanger by the toilet that was used to break up the huge poo so it didn't clog the toilet and cause an overflow. I overflowed the toilet a lot as a kid and let me tell you; nothing sends my anxiety to dizzying heights like seeing that water level keep raising in the bowl.

I always had to listen to my parents lament about what was I eating that caused such a poo? I didn't know, it's not like I made my own meals or anything. I don't remember being taken to the doctor about this, but then like any kid I would've tuned out the grown-up talk or just forgotten.

So now, with this diet, I'm having a slight baseball problem again. It seems to be getting better with two portions of Greek yogurt with linseeds mixed in. No amount of vegetables seems to be helping, so I don't know if it'll take some time for my body to get used to less of the aggressive fiber like wheat and oats, but I sure hope so. I'm looking into alternatives.

**** All Done ****

I've also got a touch of a cold, which is annoying. I keep losing my voice, but it comes back the next morning, but by dinner time it's gone again. That's the only symptom so far, a mild sore throat. I'm not even getting the sexy, husky voice to go with it, but a squeaky-broken-mic kind. I like when it's the husky, rough sounding cold. Then I'd be audio blogging all the time!

I'm almost done with the first book of Riverworld by Philip Jose Farmer. I'm not sure if I'm supposed to find it amusing, but my overall reaction is to laugh. So far, my favourite bit is when Burton stumbles upon Hermann Goring for the second time and sees him as a drug addicted slob. He's been hoarding the special drugged gum that comes with their food rations and Burton attacks Goring shouting "I can't trust you! Even if I were your friend I could never trust you. You're a gummer!" Sorry, but I lost it with that, I giggled for ages after that revelation.

The book is based on a very interesting idea; All those who ever lived on Earth have found themselves resurrected - healthy, young and naked as newborns - on the grassy banks of a mighty river, in an unknown world. Miraculously provided with food, but with no clues to the meaning of their strange new afterlife, billions of people from every period of Earth's history - and prehistory - must start again.

It dips a bit into Lord Of The Flies territory before the groups begin to form and separate. They are frustratingly preoccupied with their immediate survival for most of the book, not until over half way do they actually decide to venture off and find out what this Riverworld is about. In fact there's not a lot of philosophizing at all about their situation - which bugs me. Why aren't they asking the big questions? They just seem to be thinking, but keeping their opinions to themselves. It's not until we meet the Nazi war criminal Hermann Goring that pondering occurs; he asks questions. I feel the good guys should've been doing this all along and not given the intelligent, enquiring mind to an evil shithead.

There are kids there too and the adults don't seem to bothered that they're being subjected to abuses, and I keep thinking, why was this bit even put in except to horrify and get a reaction from the reader - a forced bit of emotion plucking, and it pisses me off.

There's also a lot of writing energy spent on describing the fighting in great detail. Burton was an explorer, he's the main character, and yet exploration doesn't come into the big picture, it's almost secondary to the weapons, defenses and fighting that goes on. Can't we all just get along? There's an element of name dropping, but really with billions living all at once, you're just the small fish in a huge, er, river.

For all it's weaknesses, I'm interested to see where this goes andI think I'll give the next book a try once I'm done (should be tonight), as it appears Burton meets up with Mark Twain and they forge a friendship that should be very entertaining. The cover of the second book hasa riverboat and an airplane on it...all of me goes, "Huh?"

Monday, March 03, 2008

Race For Life

It's that time of year again! I'm taking part in the Cancer Research UK's Race For Life which is a 5K race taking part on the 18th of May. Last year with the help of lots of you amazing people and other assorted beloved family members, I was able to raise £160.00. This year I've set a target for £250. It's a big target for one person but I figured if I could get 25 people to sponsor £10 then that's the goal made. How hard could it be to find 25 people willing to pay £10 to put me through a 5K race? I already started the ball rolling myself by putting in £20 - so that means only 23 more folks to give a hand (and a tenner) and it's done! Won't you feel great knowing you sent me out to the street to run myself into a sweating heap? Also, everyone who donates, I'll add your name to my banner which will be proudly plastered across my heaving bosoms. Also - any messages you want me to add - like you helped out in the name your Mom or GrandDad, let me know and I'll add that too.

Cancer Research UK is a brilliant charity that provides funds and equipment to over 4,000 scientists who are striving to find a cure for cancer. They've been doing well at it too,

Cancer Research UK is the world's leading independent organisation dedicated to cancer research. We support research into all aspects of cancer through the work of more than 4,250 scientists, doctors and nurses. Over the past 10 years alone, thousands of lives have been saved through earlier detection and improved treatments. But, much work remains to be done if we are to achieve our aim of beating cancer. Charity Registration No 1089464

Also, they're not stingy with their research, it's shared worldwide. So even in you don't live in the UK, you or someone you love may have benefited from their research efforts already. You can find out all about the charity at their homepage Cancer Research

Of course, all of this will provide some blog fodder as well as I gripe and moan about training. Actually - it's going rather easy, apart from the falling arches. Race-walking is saving my feet though. New sneakers are on their way (My other ones got a hole in them), and I'll soon be able to run with the best of them again. This is personal challenge as well as a way to help one of the best charities going. I ran it last year and felt such an amazing personal high for my own pride in finishing, but also raising the money and having the love and support of so many people.

So if you want to help put me through my paces and raise money for an amazing charity, then offer up a tenner (GBP) and get me running. You can go straight to my donation page via the "JustGiving" window. I only need 23 people to help out. will you, Please (big brown eyes, batting eyelashes)?