Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Where I Come Off Extra Bitchy...

...and like I hate Christmas and religion; again. I want you to know I write this as my kids are decorating their Christmas tree - go ahead and call me a hypocrite if you want to.

I got a turdmail today from a fairly reliable sender of turdmails. this isn't spam, it's first rate shit. Here's what I got exactly as I received it:

from CBS Sunday Morning (everyone should read!)

I can only hope we find God again before it is too late!!

The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning

My confession:

I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees, Christmas trees.. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are: Christmas trees.

It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, 'Merry Christmas' to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu. If people want a crèche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.

I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat. Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship celebrities and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where these celebrities came from and where the America we knew went to.

In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking.

Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her 'How could God let something like this happen?' (regarding Katrina) Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said, 'I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?'

In light of recent events... terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found a few years ago) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK. Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.

Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said OK.

Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves. Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with 'WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.'

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.

Are you laughing yet?

Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it.Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us..

Pass it on if you think it has merit. If not then just discard it... no one will know you did. But, if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in.

My Best Regards, Honestly and respectfully,
Ben Stein

Fucking ridiculous. Insane to an extreme. I thought this has to be a complete steaming pile. I googled about and found that Mr. Stein does occasional video reports for CBS, and yet this one wasn't listed, not under the title "My Confession" so I then went to snopes. And, as expected, it is a steamer of the highest order. Snopes puts up a more accurate version, but you can still the original on CBS's website here.

So you tell me which sick twat thought it would be a good idea to go twisting up lies and spreading hate in a "Yay God!" email? You do know God hates folks who lie, right? And don't tell me none of what's in the email isn't a lie - that entire bit about Dr. Spock is the biggest heap in there. Dr. Spock's sons are both alive. He did lose his grandson to suicide, which is also covered in Snopes.

Let's add in some more christian paranoia with the mention of Madelyn O'Hair, as she's certainly not the cause for terrorism and to insinuate that 9/11 was caused because there's no prayer in schools is just fucked up. "We couldn't pray enough so those Muslims attacked us. See, prayer creates an impenetrable bubble around the whole USA that is stronger the more we pray and would've kept those planes away from New York. Shame we couldn't pray in school because everyone knows the prayers from children are the most pure." The terrorists had prayer in school and it didn't stop them.

Then we move on to Katrina and Anne Graham Lotz, where she originally made that quote in 2001 in questions about how could 9/11 happen, not Katrina. Also, she says that God is angry about 9/11, not "Deeply saddened" and I have to wonder what kind of person she is to know the inner feelings of an all powerful being? Who can know what God's thinking. As an Atheist, I could really care less. The issues are all political for me and the men who flew those planes for Al Queada were puppets and fools of a bigger greed and were persuaded and seduced by twisted religious faith to commit those terrorist acts, as a whole bunch of black-eyed virgins in the afterlife are a big allure.

Then the other random bullshit that drips from this piffle:

"Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves. Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with 'WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.'"

Absolutely! If we don't beat our kids often, then how can we possibly teach them about love, acceptance, humility and morality. I mean really. Obviously none of those folks in prison ever got a right good beating as a child and now look where's it gotten them! A smack says "I Love You".

Are you laughing yet?

Most definitely. And finally I'd like to address the shit nugget from Mr. Stein himself, "I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat."

I have no idea where you got it that America is an Atheist country either. Where did you get that, Ben? Because there is the freedom of religion, the fact the country was originally populated by very spiritual people who were then killed and forced off their land by another group of religious people who were escaping from religious persecution in their home country. That makes America more of a racist and intolerant country. I think when religious groups go out of their way to harass big chain stores about their lack of Christmas marketing it's sending a message loud and true that America isn't Atheist. Not one bit. Racist and intolerant - yes. You think those who believe in God have it tough - try not believing and see what that gets you. If anything, America could do with a big dose of Atheism, or Reality as I like to call it. Then again, here I am offering reality tablets to the man who made the movie Expelled. Get your gas-mask on, for the methane coming off of that production will kill you.

I'm sending a request back to the sender of this turdmail to remove me from their mail list. I've had enough. With this kind of rubbish and the extremely racist anti-Obama crap they send my way I've had enough. Glowing examples of ignorance and a method to measure my own beliefs against, yes, it's just saddens me to believe that there are people who take so much pleasure in words so wicked, and sadly they call themselves Christians.


Roxrocks said...

I delete this crap immediately. God has no business in my inbox. I just block the perpetrators. Asshats that they are.

Lyvvie said...

Yes,'s a family member unfortunately. Then again, a simple ban may be the thing. Who wants to waste energy with explanations?

Northern musings said...

Loved your most intelligent and thoughtful rant on that. Ignorance is bliss for some people - pity that it pisses the rest of us off..
apart from that - I love Christmas... the lights, the presents and actually I like the message... religion is often the root of a lot of problems but more often than not it is the use of religion that is the cause of the problem not the belief in itself - if you get my drift.

Overboard said...

Go girl!!!

Good Christians should get off the net and instead be out there helping their brothers and sisters.


jomamma said...

Perfectly said Lyvvie... this should be sent to CBS.

I get so sick of these kinds of emails too. And it's people like this who make me embarrassed to admit that I was raised a Christian. When they come to your door and ask you 'are you a Christian?' Who gives a shit? Jody will even tell them 'if I say no will you leave?'

I like to think of God as a shape shifter... sometimes a man, sometimes a woman, sometimes a yoga guru with a fat belly, sometimes a bug or a butterfly... who cares? But no one God is better than another... if there is a God.

The older I get the more I DON'T enjoy Christmas. The feeling is lost... too commercialized. When people are up to their eyeballs in debt and they still think the NEED to buy something just because it's a certain time of the year.... sickens me. What do they think 'God' would think about them living in debt? I do believe it says something in the Bible about living in debt... and it ain't good.

Anonymous said...

Forwarded email "truthisms" = new opiate of the masses.

Thank Bob for Snopes! (I've sent so many "replies" redirecting my father to said site---I wonder if he's ever bothered....)

Dingo said...

I get these types of emails from family members as well. I can point them to Snopes and I can respond with reason but to no avail. Sometimes I think they do it just to get a reaction out of me. From now on, I'm just going to direct them to you, 'k? You don't mind do you?

Badger said...

My brother-in-law, who loves Jesus more than anyone has ever loved anything EVER, used to send me exactly this kind of shit until I told him (very nicely, I thought) to knock it off. My life is so much happier now!

And while I'm amongst friends, I would like to get this off my chest: Jesus is NOT the reason for the season. The season was here FIRST, and the early Christians decided to co-opt it. As a pagan, all this whining about people not saying "Merry Christmas" or putting it in their advertising or whatever offends me deeply.

Thank you. That felt good. Happy Solstice, y'all.

NWJR said...

Merry Christmas, Badger.

Sylvana said...

Well, I full-heartedly agree, Lyvvie.

One thing that really pisses me off about these pieces of shit is the the defense line "if you disagree, just delete it", cause they don't want YOUR opinion stinking up their INBOX!! Bullshit!

My dad would send me this crap. In fact, I got this very email last year from him. What I have found works the best to reduce his turdmail to me is to send him my own. Sometimes I find things on the internet, even posts like this one ;), and sometimes I write them myself. In any case, it does work! He says it hurts his feelings, and I return with a "Now you know how I feel."

Oh, and Mrs. Christmas at work -- she did it again this year. This time she went so far as to argue with a customer! They wished her Happy Holidays, to which she said, "NO! We celebrate Christmas here!" To which he said, "Well, I don't really subscribe to that." and she just went on about it not being about holidays but it being about Christ, blah, blah blah. And here this poor fellow is left standing in the store defending his beliefs to our clerk! I had a talk with the owner, telling her that this was not the first time that she has corrected a customer, but it was the first time that I actually witnessed her out-right arguing with one. She said that she had seen it before too and was horrified. I demanded that she get a spine and do something about it. I said, if she wants to wish someone a Merry Christmas that's just fine, but she should be sensitive to people's varying beliefs and NOT be telling someone what they should believe! And she did have a talk with her. Now it's all Happy Holidays with her. And I'm sure she'd like to send me this email.

sideshow bob said...

Ben Stein is pants.

You should check out his stupid movie "Expelled", which, near as I can figure out, is about how we should be teaching "Because God made it that way" in science classes.

And I, too, often respond to emails with Snopes links.

NWJR said...

Looks like the U.S. doesn't have a monopoly on "religious" crybabies:

Lyvvie said...

Ah the weird and wonderful world of football - a den of racism and intolerance if ever there was. Catholics vs Protestants, green vs red (That's Hearts vs Hibs here) and their rabid fans who follow and enjoy the game with such passion it's actually become the religion. I have no clue if any of them actually go to church or even own a bible, because the fun of the sings is to annoy the shit out of the other fans. It's fan war and devotion and really has very little to do with God.

It's completely fascinating; when they aren't causing riots and breaking all the shop front actually that's fascinating too but I'm sure much less fascinating for the shop owners.

The songs get extra credit if they also insult England as well as the opposing religion, which is probably why this got printed.

It's made me laugh and I've passed it on to many (Who've come back amuse saying "That's nuts!") - Thanks Rich!