Sunday, November 30, 2008

It's war.

Unable to tolerate the rude scratching from the rodent in the attic even though a few times I stood on my bed and banged my fist on the ceiling to tell it to shut the fuck up, I ultimately had to pull my blankets and pillows from my warm spot and sleep on the inflatable mattress in the livingroom downstairs. Thank the universe for Aerobeds.

I'm calling environmental control and having the guy come back ASAP. I can't sleep in the living room every night until Thursday, when he's due back. This vermin must be impervious to his poisons, or it's got too sophisticated a palate to consume it.

I'm restraining myself from climbing up there with a ball peen hammer and pounding the wee fucker.

7 comments:

Overboard said...

Ball peen.....yum.....

Roxrocks said...

I'm four posts behind so here's my comment(s):

Um, the rodent would scare the ever-lovin' out of me. It's why I have a cat. I've never even SEEN a mouse here, but the mere thought of it made me get Kamir!

I wear Alfred Sung, I have for years. I used to wear his Shi brand but then I switched. I love it.

People ARE getting Christmassy early. They are retarded.

When I try to say Rack and Pinion steering, I always say Ball Peen instead.

Jomamma said...

I love Rox's combo reply... We had a mouse between the walls once.... it is quiet maddening. Grab the neighbor's cat and toss him up in the attic for a few days.

Ree said...

And yet, I bet you could do it. ;-)

Maja said...

I think you should set off a bug bomb up there. It may not kill the thing but it might repel it.

Shelia said...

Living up here in the land of frozen tundra, all our little rodent friends feel that its far too cold outside and find a way to make their new home inside... in particular, my garage.

You see, there is a large abundance of Cheerios in my garage thanks to a .50 sale on bags of Honey Nut Scooters, so I bought each of my kids' weight in cereal that day. The mice love them! But, much like my children, opening one bag isn't enough... they open one, eat out of it, and then open another one. They are some well-fed happy mice.

The other day when my sister and I were coming in through the garage, we saw them. In fact, we were nearly gangbanged by the dynamic duo. They would have, in a heartbeat, except they were the fattest happiest mice I've ever seen! They wobbled when they ran! They couldn't have chased us down on their best day! And yes... they were enjoying the generic Cheerios.

Since I have a uterus, it is NOT my job to fix the mouse problem and assigned it to the husband, who promptly loaded up some cheap mousetraps with peanut butter and by morning the fat little fuckers were dead little fuckers.

Generic Cheerios are now safe and I no longer fear the potential gangbang by fat mice in my garage. At least... until their friends get brave and return for the Cheerios, wondering where the scouts have disappeared to.

I have no guilt... but I do have 36 more bags of Cheerios.

trinity67 said...

LOL - 'pounding the wee fucker' - oh my God I laughed out loud at that! You're so funny! And I hope you get rid of your rodents - SOON!!!