Monday, October 27, 2008

New Kitchen, Day one.

You can scan the Twitter on the right to see the blow by blow observations of the work in progress if you are so desperately bored and need such things to amuse and entertain you.

For those extremely bored souls, I have taken pictures. Some of you even asked for them.

Let me start with a angst dump: I hate the kitchen. I've hated it forever. It's the original cheap shit kitchen that came with the house when it was built in 1988. It's white "wood look" melamine covered particle board with a grey speckled countertop that traps every spill and stain. The bottom of the countertop has swelled with many years of sloppy dishwashing and now flakes bits of woodchip all over the place.

I took my aggressions out on the kitchen once, when I was about 7 months pregnant, hormones raging and I was well out of my head with rage and bashed the shit out of a plastic ice cream glass onto the door. Shorty's pregnancy was full of these kinds of rages, as were the months of post-natal depression where lack of sleep, Sassy tantrums, disgust at my fat, flabby body and everyday demands had me literally banging my head on the wall- it was the only way to stop the stress talk in my head. It's why I had bangs at that time, to hide the marks. I'm so glad I finally went to the stress counselor. So perhaps the fact that I hated the kitchen, I spent my rage into the kitchen, it's of course tainted with hate and rage and looks so fucking shabby It just has to go.

The new one, should bring new joy into the house. I'll have more cabinets to store stuff which means more counter space to prepare and cook. It'll be fab. And with my garden looking gorgeous I have a great view to look out over while I washing fucking dishes in the new sink because the space is still too small to get a dishwasher. Sigh. No anger though, not worth it. Just whip everyone who doesn't wash their own plate.

Can you tell I'm a bit antsy about this. There's an undercurrent of frustration. I mean yes, there are strange men - although very clean, spiked hair and product coiffed and top scented with remarkably clean overalls and WHITE - oh my God I'm blinded - shoes. It's the unknown of it all - will they fuck it all up and piss me off and turn this into an ordeal? I've had ordeals in the past, Terrible ones. Like the plumber who came to fit a new bathtub in our old flat and forgot to actually hook the plughole to the exit drain so we flooded the flat below us for about a week before we figured out what the funny smell in the bathroom was (musty wood and cement smell) and when we complained they snubbed us and blew us off - but we made sure the landlord for the downstairs flat (which was empty at the time) had their details so they could claim on the plumber's insurance. That was only the beginning of the remodel from hell. So I get twitchy about workies. These guys came highly recommended and I've seen some of their work, so I feel a bit better. They did take the tiles off the walls which I had asked them not to but I was on my way back from dropping off the kids at school and the smashing noises signaled that they didn't know the tiles were staying. We'll see how that works out.

Um...Where's my oven? The guys just went to the dump and...where's my new oven gone?

***The office manager was able to phone them in time and they did not toss my new oven into the dump. They were going to, because "No one told us what happening with the oven" Well, guys - Leave it the Fuck Alone if you don't know!

My creation


jmc said...

Oh no! What happened? Did they take it by mistake?

Lyvvie said...

Still don't know. I think they went for lunch. Haven't mentioned to husband yet, even though I really want to share the panic.

Overboard said...

Ha ha ha. I asked.
Thanks Lyvvie.

Overboard said...

Hahahaahahah. I am laughing my head off at what you wrote about your kitchen.
I can just imagine how much you have hated this kitchen.
It all sounded so innocent when you said you were gonna get a new one a few months ago.
Little did I know.
This is such a funny post.

Overboard said...

I can't believe they were gonna toss your new oven.
What dicks!!!!!
Too funny about that plumbing story, too.

As you can see, I comment as I read.

Overboard said...

This has got to be my Favourite Funny Post Of The Week in the entire blogging world.

Ree said...

It's going to be lovely. I have a new garage. It's white. ;-)

Roxrocks said...

The washing machine is in the kitchen and there's no room for a dishwasher? That's bizarre!

I hope this goes quickly for you. Take more pictures. I'm a loser.

Maja said...

I can't believe they carted your oven off to the tip. What a bunch of idiots! Just goes to show, you have to stand over the bastards during the whole job to make sure they do things right.

How exciting, getting the kitchen redone though. I love home improvements!

Jill said...

So far so good! I feel exactly as you with the workies. I was so nervous (and sick, having an appendectomy just a few days before)I have my pops come over and babysit. LOL

Can't wait to see the end result. ;)