Tuesday, September 16, 2008

And the shit begins...

Made our first appointment to see the Vice Principal on Thursday. It's about the continuing bullshit from last year. And the year before...oh and the year before that! Same shit for four years.

So what's the problem? Of course it's complicated. Isn't it always? Sassy is being bullied. But not in the classic big mean kid pushes her around kind of bullying. She's being bullied by a special needs kid. I don't remember what the name of what her problem is; some long complicated German sounding one, but she's certainly smart enough to progress to the next grade every year. Her problem lies in her co-ordination and physical sensitivity. She can't feel things the same as other kids. To let her feel a hug, you have to really squeeze her. She's also from giants, both parents are very tall, so she is the tallest girl in the class by a long way. The problem she has with Sassy is: She wants to be her friend. Her only friend. Her exclusive friend. When Sassy says she wants to play with other kids eventually there's grabbing, chasing and Sassy gets hurt. Always.

Not to say that Sassy hasn't hit her back in frustration (once) but you would think she'd just pulled the fire alarm, or stomped on a litter of kittens - you can't hit the special needs kid! Even if she does hit you first, and is a head taller, and outweighs you by 15lbs. No no! She does not know of what she does. Fuck off. Fuck right off.

Because this girl is so ungainly and lacks sensory signals she always hits too hard,grabs like a vice, pulls too rough, and shoves with great strength. The only thing the school will say is that the two of them are not allowed anywhere near each other during recess. Yeah right!

Backstory - in Spring Sassy was in trouble because she finally cracked because this girl - I'll call her Sally - had been following her around for weeks during break wanting to play tag. Sassy didn't want to play tag. She wanted to play war games with her friends who are all boys and don't like Sally. But Sally wouldn't go away. No matter where Sassy ran to, Sally would chase her. Eventually Sassy's friends started saying "Why don't you go play with Sally instead?" because they were fed up with Sally butting in all the damned time. Finally Sassy shouted her to fuck off and leave her alone. Yes she used those words. When Sally wouldn't - or more to the point she goes away and comes back five minutes later. Finally fed up - Sassy hit her. Now she got in trouble with the teacher, and me. She should've gone to the supervisor first. BUT she's done that for so long and every day, well it gets tired and really doesn't do a damned thing. Frustrated beyond hope, she clocked her.

Now the trouble starts: Sally's Mom is Ms. PTA (Not Frog Face but friend of Frog Face) the gossip trickles through the lines to all the biddy's of whom I despise and soon the venom trickles to their daughters. Next thing I know a couple weeks later there's a gang of five girls walking up to Sassy at breaks threatening to tell on her if she goes anywhere near Sally. Now in the wake of the hitting Sally - Sassy's been Sally free! Sally finally got the hint. Sassy has been quite happy running with the boys pretending to take over the world. But now this vigilante group has formed and stalk about saying Sassy's within ten feet of Sally! Tattle tattle. Sassy's like - WTF? I'm playing with them...those boys way over there. I have no care as to the whereabouts of Sally. Everyday the gang hawkeye Sassy.

Then Sally really starts to like the attention she gets from the Gang.

Thankfully, Summer break comes and I hoped this shit would be forgotten.

Well it wasn't. The Gang reformed and began their bullshit; even though one of them spent three weeks of the summer playing with Sassy at camp! Nine year olds suck. Anyways the real burr in the paw is Sally now plays it up for all it's worth. She'll run up to Sassy and cry "Help me! Help me!" and the Gang come running and GRAB SASSY. they grab her and restrain her so Sally can run away. For Sally's own good. Because Sassy might hit her again. You should see the bruises Sassy gets. Yesterday Sassy was waiting for her friends in the coatroom next to the exit to the playground when Sally came in from outside. Sassy told her to go back outside because they're not supposed to be together and somehow Sally slipped and fell on Sassy, stomping her ankle and banging her head off the stucco wall. It's always these kinds of accidents (And I had to restrain myself from using quotes just there) that only happen to Sassy where Sally is concerned.

Well I said at the beginning of the school year I'm pulling no punches this year, and I'll have it out with the school first and then with each mother so they know exactly what kind of wee shit their rearing.

I'm fucking livid! I sincerely hope Mr. VP knows what's coming. I'll be calm, explain nicely, but I'm going to insist Sally get told exactly how damned wrong she is - no pussy foot because she may not know of what she has done. I cry bullshit. The Gang will be dealt with and disbanded. The Mothers better wise the fuck up to their princess' because they aren't all that sparkles. I at least have never thought my kid was faultless. I push her to achieve. In fact this is the first year she's showing a real keen interest in doing well in school as opposed to just getting by. She's focussed. She struggles with Sally in class as well and I mentioned this to her teacher - a great, strict, old-school kind of teacher who Sassy loves - because Sally had been sitting at a group desk behind Sassy so they were back to back, and Sally kept turning around in her chair to go "Lalalalalaaa" over and over in Sassy's ear. She's no charm that one. Disabled or not: She's an asshole.

OH - and don't think I've not talked to Sally's Mom about this like a dozen times. See the spin had always been it was Sassy being mean to Sally so I felt apologetic and awful that my kid was bullying the disabled kid. Can you imagine how that felt? And she always nodded, smiled and now I find out she talked behind my back to her cronies and then to their kids all along. If I have to lay blame on anyone it's Sally's Mom. But now the truth is ou and can you imagine how pissed off I am? And the only advice they give Sassy is to stay away from Sally?!

Fucked up.

This rant has not been proof read (much) as I'm to mad just now so forgive any grammar errors please. I'll let you know how the meeting goes.


trinity67 said...

Please do!

Roxrocks said...

You go Lyvvie! Sassy will appreciate this later in her life, having a mom who was willing to go balls out for her.

I hate fucking bullies.

Overboard said...

Uh, bullying. Hate it! Sassy is lucky she has a mum like you who is going to sort this out once and for all.
'ere, aren't you moving to Oz at some point? Now that will be the final finger to that gang of little b%&%$%#.
Uh, same in my school. Kid's with 'heart problems' [fucked in the head] get away with murder.

Jomamma (judith) said...

First of all your grammar was fine...

Same thing at our school, coddle the ones who are Special Ed, at least the parents try to. Our Administration won't stand for it. These kids are smart enough to know what's going on and they take advantage of the situation. Once you talk to the VP, hopefully the Administration will start watching and noticing, at least that's what should happen. We always told our kids when dealing with bullies, look them in the eye and say "please stop that." Then when they continue, look them in the eye and say louder "I asked you to please stop." Then if they do it again knock the shit out of them. This is probably why Jolea told a girl in a bar last year "back off bitch or I'm gonna kick you right square in the box!" The girl and her friends left the bar. I raised my kids to take care of themselves.
Schools don't want kids to fight, nobody does, but sometimes kids just have to show the bully they are serious and they aren't going to take crap off them. And sometimes you just have to go to the office and tell them you won't stand for it anymore. It's OK to have your opinion and in your opinion your child is being harassed, it's up to them to prove you wrong and in that process the truth will come out.

Maja said...

Wow, it makes me so angry to hear Sassy is being treated like that! You sort all those bitches out!

tornwordo said...

I can't believe how mean and terrible children can be. I was always one of the "picked on", I don't know why we tolerate it. Oh wait, yes I do. Hazing happens everyday - and those are adults!

Anonymous said...

Poor kid. You get in there in show 'em your stuff. :) I'll check in and see how it went.

Maja said...

dying of suspense here.. have you had the meeting yet?

Ree said...

Moms of bullies are worse than the bullies themselves sometimes. do let us know how it goes.