Monday, March 10, 2008

It's all so distracting.

I spent the whole of my weekend doing for others. I don't mind so much, and that's the truth. I went and did grocery shopping for myself and Grandma Betty, I groomed my MIL's dogs (That's two cocker spaniels; one stripped, one sport cut and two greyhounds which you may think would be not much grooming but those skinny short-haired angels shed tons of coat.) and wandered around the mall for a couple hours while Husband figured out what phone company and phone he was going to upgrade to seeing as he'd become completely fed up with Vodafone. I bought a Writers Magazine to see if there's any competitions I may want to enter. Lucky for me there is. I've never won one, which funny enough, just makes me want silly and outrageous things. I'm done with being serious, as it only leads to ulcers.

My only regret was that Sunday was a gorgeous day, one of the few we've had in weeks and I would've really liked to go into Edinburgh and do the video I've been planning, but the dogs were scheduled and it would've been bad to cancel last minute. Husband said "There will be other nice days," which I hissed and warned him not to curse us with another six months of rain. Monday's Weather So Far: RAIN. Bastard.

Diet is going rather well, apart from the tragic falling off the wagon last night when we had Chinese food. I did order the egg fooyung. But I couldn't resist a spring roll or two and it came with a sweet (very scary red dye laden) sauce...anyways. Back on the wagon today. I weighed myself this morning and haven't lost anything over last week, where I lost six pounds. I'm not too bothered. One excellent sign is I'm waking up with energy and not slobbing about in my bed desperate to get back to sleep. I wake up and the first thing I want to do is bounce out of my bed, and that's after six hours of sleep. A completely different story from a month ago. It could be the diet, it could be that it's light in our room at six in the morning now, or a combination of both. I woke up yesterday at six a.m., thought about how to make a curtain for the window as the blinds let in too much light and then put my gym kit on and went out in the gorgeous morning. I racewalked 5K in 45 minutes, before breakfast, and felt wonderful.

However, wonderful doesn't last forever, I also notice I'm rather quick to get frustrated with the constant demands from my kids, and I snap at them. So far, not bad enough to get them bursting in tears or anything, but still, I don't want to be grumpy Mom. I'm just tired of hearing "Mommy, can I have..." which interrupts whatever I'm in the middle of doing. That's the crux of it: I hate being interrupted! Kids are nothing but one big interruption, often a welcome one, but not always.

TMI Poo Talk Shall Begin****
Now - the TMI portion of this post refers to the problem with the diet I mentioned at the end of my last video. Those who are squeamish about poo should stop and skip this section. The rest of you may carry on.

I'll have to start with my childhood, which was very lonely, frustrating and stressful. I wasn't a confident kid, and I didn't relate well with other kids. I wasn't popular and I was bullied. This caused me extreme anxiety, and still to this day I get nervous in group situations. One of the side effects of this stress was constipation. I was a constipated kid, but something very wrong was going in my bowels; it made my poo the size of a baseball. Big, round and impossible to pass, often for days. Eight year olds aren't meant to poo baseballs. The other problem was once I could pass it, it was too big to flush. For most of my childhood there was a bent coat hanger by the toilet that was used to break up the huge poo so it didn't clog the toilet and cause an overflow. I overflowed the toilet a lot as a kid and let me tell you; nothing sends my anxiety to dizzying heights like seeing that water level keep raising in the bowl.

I always had to listen to my parents lament about what was I eating that caused such a poo? I didn't know, it's not like I made my own meals or anything. I don't remember being taken to the doctor about this, but then like any kid I would've tuned out the grown-up talk or just forgotten.

So now, with this diet, I'm having a slight baseball problem again. It seems to be getting better with two portions of Greek yogurt with linseeds mixed in. No amount of vegetables seems to be helping, so I don't know if it'll take some time for my body to get used to less of the aggressive fiber like wheat and oats, but I sure hope so. I'm looking into alternatives.

**** All Done ****

I've also got a touch of a cold, which is annoying. I keep losing my voice, but it comes back the next morning, but by dinner time it's gone again. That's the only symptom so far, a mild sore throat. I'm not even getting the sexy, husky voice to go with it, but a squeaky-broken-mic kind. I like when it's the husky, rough sounding cold. Then I'd be audio blogging all the time!

I'm almost done with the first book of Riverworld by Philip Jose Farmer. I'm not sure if I'm supposed to find it amusing, but my overall reaction is to laugh. So far, my favourite bit is when Burton stumbles upon Hermann Goring for the second time and sees him as a drug addicted slob. He's been hoarding the special drugged gum that comes with their food rations and Burton attacks Goring shouting "I can't trust you! Even if I were your friend I could never trust you. You're a gummer!" Sorry, but I lost it with that, I giggled for ages after that revelation.

The book is based on a very interesting idea; All those who ever lived on Earth have found themselves resurrected - healthy, young and naked as newborns - on the grassy banks of a mighty river, in an unknown world. Miraculously provided with food, but with no clues to the meaning of their strange new afterlife, billions of people from every period of Earth's history - and prehistory - must start again.

It dips a bit into Lord Of The Flies territory before the groups begin to form and separate. They are frustratingly preoccupied with their immediate survival for most of the book, not until over half way do they actually decide to venture off and find out what this Riverworld is about. In fact there's not a lot of philosophizing at all about their situation - which bugs me. Why aren't they asking the big questions? They just seem to be thinking, but keeping their opinions to themselves. It's not until we meet the Nazi war criminal Hermann Goring that pondering occurs; he asks questions. I feel the good guys should've been doing this all along and not given the intelligent, enquiring mind to an evil shithead.

There are kids there too and the adults don't seem to bothered that they're being subjected to abuses, and I keep thinking, why was this bit even put in except to horrify and get a reaction from the reader - a forced bit of emotion plucking, and it pisses me off.

There's also a lot of writing energy spent on describing the fighting in great detail. Burton was an explorer, he's the main character, and yet exploration doesn't come into the big picture, it's almost secondary to the weapons, defenses and fighting that goes on. Can't we all just get along? There's an element of name dropping, but really with billions living all at once, you're just the small fish in a huge, er, river.

For all it's weaknesses, I'm interested to see where this goes andI think I'll give the next book a try once I'm done (should be tonight), as it appears Burton meets up with Mark Twain and they forge a friendship that should be very entertaining. The cover of the second book hasa riverboat and an airplane on it...all of me goes, "Huh?"


RoxRocks said...

Drink more water. The amount of fibre you are consuming is good but in order for it to pass smoothly, you need tons of water. Tons.

I once didn't poop for 22 days. I know a thing or two about constipation!

You could give yourself a coffee colonic, I've heard they are the shit! hahahahhahahaha! Oh my, I'm funny today!

NWJR said...

OK, here's the thing:

When I read, I often do a modified version of speed-reading, where I scan and hit the highlights. If I miss something, I go back and read more closely. It's the only way I can possibly read as much as I do.

So when I read your poo post, I initally thought—for a brief moment, mind you—that the coat hanger was there to break up the poo pre-evacuation.

I knew that couldn't be right. Thankfully it wasn't.

But since I had the image in my head, I had to share.


Lyvvie said...

ROXY: I drink two liters of water a day. I fill my Brita and drink it all and that's not counting the coffee and tea I drink too. Trust me when I say I upped the water intake more when first signs happened...although some people drink five liters of water a day on this diet and of those people I think: Crazy Waterlogged Freaks!

NWJR: Don't think the idea didn't cross my mind at least once.

Kate R said...

yeah, what roxrocks said. Water. Also red wine. Works for Rumpole, after all.

I don't usually like fiction that has real people portrayed in them, but that book sounds so far over the line that I wanna go out and buy it. Now. I could use a good giggle even if it is unintentional.