Monday, February 25, 2008

Too many choices means nothing.

I'm free. Free from the confines of employment. It feel strange, I'm not used to it yet. Tonight is the first night I'm not having to rush my afternoon to get to work for 6pm. I still feel the same "Gotta do this, gotta get that, don't forget the thing and..." really I should take a deep breath and chill. It's ok. I have the time.

The chilling out and not worrying about time; well it worries me. I don't want to become idle. So I won't. Plans they be a'forming. Had a flash of an idea to be an exporter for my father-in-laws movie business to Japan when we emigrate. I have absolutely no clue how I'd do it, how it'll be received, but for now it's an idea. My FIL created his own movie company, of sorts, where he buys old movies out of copyright and resells them under his own label. He has a few westerns because he loves them, but the bulk of his success has come from historical Scotland movies. He has one about the old steam train routes, about the building of the Forth Road Bridge and another about how the bridges were defended during WWII. I haven't watched any of them, (which you can never tell him!), but historical societies and tourist shops buy a lot of his productions. You can view the catalogue yourself at Panamint Cinema. I'm not sure how the Japanese would take 40's British interpretations of WWII, but they may like some of the other things. If FIL could come up with a whisky making movie, that may go well as Japan has an affiliation with Scotland over whisky production; where Masataka Taketsuru came over and learned all the skills to making a malt whisky and took it back to Japan where they still produce to the Scottish way. Anyways, it'll give me a puzzle to ponder for the next year and then if it all looks good to work out, a job when I'm in Japan.

So, over the weekend we got the complete series of Black Books for the amazing price of £12. If you've never seen Black Books, you're missing out; it's hilarious. Dylan Moran, Bill Bailey and Tamsin Greig. You can catch some of the episodes on YouTube, which is where I first saw it because I'd never heard of it before until Mark Farley posted a clip of Bernard having a drunken tantrum over not being picked up by a publisher. the series is damn brilliant and I wish they'd make a new one, but both Moran and Bailey have busy careers outside of the show.

I read a story over the weekend about a 40stone man (that's 254kgs, 560lbs) who lives not far from here's just awful. Calling out the fire brigade because "I've fallen and I can't get up". What makes me sick and angry is the man's attitude, "what's the fuss about? Sometimes I slide to the floor in my living room, and it's hard to get back up." A more detailed article from the paper explained it takes ten firefighters and two trucks called out (two trucks are a standard call out procedure) to move this man two feet. Each call out costs taxpayers £400. The man can't work, lives in a council home and has carers. He is the epitome of sloth and gluttony. His carers feed him. His Carers Feed Him. Does that sound like enabling? Does it sound like the council is perpetuating this situation? Why not get him a nutritionist and a personal trainer? I think someone has to take that man by his turkey neck (if you can find it) give him a shake and get him to wake up! "I can't help being the way I am." He says. Uhm, stop eating gross amounts of food, that would be a start. I feel saddened and frustrated by the whole debacle. The guy had to think when he was 20 stone "Gee, I'm getting a bit fat. I should do something" or at 25, 30, 35...but nope. He sees himself blameless. A victim, perhaps? And yet we; the taxpayers, firefighters, and carers have to wipe his lazy ass and nose for him. And yet, I hate coming across as fattist. No, I don't hate fat people. I hate people who can't be bothered to take control of themselves and feel no responsibility for the consequences of their actions. That goes for drug addicts, alcoholics, repeat offenders and people who tailgate aggressively (Is there a tender way to tailgate?). Grow up.

You may find my posts over the next few weeks a bit strange. I've started Atkins again and I remember the first two weeks made me rather grumpy. Stay with me, I'll get through this. In fact it may not be as bad as the last time because I'm not as carb addicted as I was before. The coffee withdrawal headache is not nice. Not wicked, but annoying, and shows me I was definitely having way too much. I was showing too many slip-back behaviours into anxiety: Out of control coffee consumption, lack of sleep, inability to finish one task before moving onto another, nail biting, stuttering, daydreams about death and disaster, cigarette cravings (which I did not give in to ) and cakes, sweets and pastry cravings which I did give into and which led me to gain 70lbs from 2003-2004 - so I'm putting a stop to it now. The only downside is the thought of living on such fatty foods, as it's kind of icky. And I can't eat cheese, cream or butter. It'll be FINE. I'm using a hypnosis program as well. *shrug* if anything it helps me fall asleep.

I will be able to do more with my wee video camera. So maybe some beach walks, and I definitely want to do a wee tour of Edinburgh and show some of my favourite places. Try and overcome my shyness - I have some! A bit of shyness. I'll need to let that go. Repression causes disorder.

I haven't read A Thing since book four of Deathnote. I've ordered the rest of the series and a couple other books too but Amazon is sitting there with its thumb up its ass and not sending my books. I don't know why as they're all in stock. They're annoying me. I want my books grumble grumble.

I need new pajamas. I like satin pajamas because I hate it when my clothes bunch up under me and make wrinkles because they're sore. So satin ones are nice and slippy, I can roll about and not have the blankets or sheets tangle up around me. the downside is most satin pajama sets have a button down tops, and if you've ever owned a satin button down pajama top then you'll know that whenever you roll over, the button undo. I would wake up most mornings topless. I did try and sew the buttons in, but then it tears. Really the tops should be a t-shirt shape. I've never found satin t-shirt pajama tops. Yet another reason why I need to learn how to sew.

So, I'm needing hugs. Anyone have a hug for me?

***Just re-read this, and notice I said I gained 70lbs from 2003-2004 and well yes I did, because I was pregnant(And eating a lot. Babies make me hungry) I didn't make that connection yesterday during my rant. Still.


Ree said...

But of course! {{hugs}} and more {{hugs}}

RoxRocks said...

Congratulations on finally being rid of that evil thing called WORK! WOOHOO! Now you can become a lady of leisure like myself. You know, because all I do is lay around all day. :)


Sylvana said...

Lots of HUGS!!
You sound like an overachiever like me.
I found this article interesting. Although it is written about college students, I think that it is relevant to any overachiever.

One of the hardest thing for overachievers to accomplish is the ability to do NOTHING!
But not so much so that you end up 40 stone! ;)

Red Hot Sexy Papa said...

HUGgies Pampers!!! Huggies!!!

I agree with your view on the Fatty issues. Get that Butt up and start walking/running! Do something and stop whining! A matter of you want or don't.

tornwordo said...

Sure, here's a hug. The video Japan idea sounds good and I'd be jumping for joy not having to work. Go ahead, jump for joy.

Badger said...

Aw, here's a hug from across the pond! I'm looking forward to more videos. I loved the one of you walking to pick up the kids from school.

Chick said...

You want a got one.

MarkFarley said...

Piss Midget... lol

Frank said...

Lyvvie said: "...a wee tour of Edinburgh and show some of my favourite places."

That would be super. Please do and share with us.