Thursday, January 03, 2008

No Such Thing as a Seven Sided Square

I used to have a magazine addiction which I easily broke free from because magazines are so expensive and leave me with nothing but a recycling chore after several months. Plus I can get a lot of info without the carbon footprint by visiting the magazine website...don't point out the electrical cost of running the Mac, I'm feeling good just now. At the moment, apart from catalogues the companies insist on sending me even though I may have ever only spent a fiver in their shop, the only magazine I keep a subscription to - and that was because it was only £12 for the year for a magazine that costs £3.20 per issue - is Psychologies, It's a newer magazine having recently celebrated its two year anniversary. It's a bit of a bridge between self help mags and information/culture mags.

I was a bit disappointed with January's issue, feeling most of the articles were a bland vanilla mix, nothing very eye catching and the interviews were of folks - no offense to any who happen to read this (as if, tcha) - I'm not all that interested in. So I was thinking, perhaps I should cancel this subscription and finally rid myself of the magazine addiction for good. Then I got February's issue in the mail on Saturday. It's amazing! I can't imagine why they started off the year with such grey blahs, and then hit me with glorious colour in February, but lucky for them they did, as I've decided to keep the subscription now.

It seemed every article was targeted right at me. "Oh wow! I'm actually like that!" "I answeed yes to everything!" "That's just so simple a solution to a lifelong problem, why didn't I ever consider it before?" Revelations and brain pops galore. My favourite article was titled The Seven Sides Of You and talks about how we often have several personalities that we employ/deploy for different situations. You wouldn't use the same personality in a job interview that you'd use with the closest pals down the pub. It shows our adaptability. So the mini-quiz asks;

How Multiple Are You?
  • Do you find your mental skills, including memory for facts, vary from time to time for no obvious reason? For example, can you sometimes romp through a crossword puzzle, but other times can't answer one clue?
  • Do you ever refer to yourself as "we"?
  • Do your personal memories ever seem like a film you have seen rather than as something that actually happened to you?
  • Do you talk to yourself?
  • Do you ever binge on food, cigarettes or alcohol?
  • Do you swing suddenly from one mood to another for no apparent reason?
  • Do certain circumstances trigger skills of knowledge that in not usually available to you? For example, in a foreign country do you find yourself speaking the language better than you thought possible?
  • Do you find yourself adopting the accent or intonation of the person you are talking to or putting on a "telephone voice"?
  • When you look into your wardrobe, do you see clothes that you cannot imagine wearing and wonder why you bought them?
  • Do vague acquaintances treat you as though they know you far better then you would expect?
  • Do friends refer to events they claim to have shared with you but that you cannot recall?
  • Do people you trust claim you've told them things you cannot believe you would've ever told them?
  • If you come across something your wrote a while ago - an old diary or notebook - do you sometimes fail to realize at first the author is you?
Score 0 for never, 1 for sometimes, 2 for all the time.

From that I determined I'm Queen of the Schizoids*! (I got a 23) Especially the referring to oneself as "we". I do that all the time, talk to myself as we and us. Also, the bit about acquaintences knowing me better than I'd expect them to, and the very embarrassing problem of forgetting things I've done with people - and sometimes I even forget the people too. Talk about social fucking nightmare, "We did what? When? We had a great time then, huh? Blush, fidget, grin, drink. I once (actually twice with different boyfriends) told my husband about going out to the movies with a mutual friend and how it was a great movie, dinner after, conversation was tops blah blah, and he got pissed off because He Was There Too!! "Oh, of course you were, heh heh, I'm just, uh, winding you up - sucker!" *run away* The article goes on about getting to know your different personalities, talks about the unified self and also goes into how some of these personalities get too big for their britches and become destructive voices in our heads and how to get a rein them in with positive thinking. The more multiple you are, the more of a challenge.

February's issue has an article about how sleep is the new sex - don't I know it. The past two weeks have been bliss and I feel wonderful simply because I can sleep in until eight each morning. The alarm usually goes off at half-six, so isn't it amazing how that extra wee bit of sleep changes my day? All of us are feeling much more relaxed and refreshed. Also there's an article about How to think Like A Thin Person, which is a month late really when just now we're all being saturated with Weight Watchers ads and gym membership promotions.

The typical magazine segments are there to with movie and book reviews and all that normal filler, with a averagely amusing ads section at the back - don't you ever find some magazines have highly amusing ads sections? Honestly, don't skim past them, give them a try. This magazine, of course, has all those "Change Your Life!" kind of things, with weekend courses and spa holidays a few psychics tossed in for flavour. A couple that grab the attention:

Depression? Congratulations! Strange as though it may seem, depression is a sign of health!

Image is So much more Than Colour!

litelife Join a Growing Industry!

Cosmo is even more entertaining with all the love numbers, breast enhancement/plastic surgery clinics and odd assortments of arts and crafts. Anyways, it's one of the rare times when I've red a magazine cover to cover and then went back and read some bits again. I even wanted to leave out articles for the Husband to read, but as it's a chick-mag, he's not very interested. Self-help chick-mag? Would Rather Eat Plastic Doll Parts! But he loves me so he may read it if I nag enough - Oh the joy the ties of a wedding vow give me sometimes!! I know what you're thinking, better him than me, right? just wait.

* I say this with deliberate ignorance purely to annoy my mother as I went to university to gain a degree is psychology and know full well the differences between Schizophrenia and Multiple Personality disorder. It's the same reason I pronounce Peugeot cars as Pew-gots as I also can speak French well enough and it annoys her. I just never say "ain't" around her as she has a vicious backhand and zero tolerance for the word.


RoxRocks said...

I recently subscribed to two magazines as fundraisers for my neice. The first one is Spin magazine which is about music and the second is Readers' Digest. I'm an enigma with the magazines. Actually, I'm always picking them up if there is a lineup at the checkout, mostly craft magazines or some such thing. I really don't need to know 14 new ways to sexually satisfy my mate when really all it takes is a little bit of gravy on his mashed potatoes. :)

I don't know what I am saying. I'm still waking up and I have this wretched head cold.

NWJR said...

@ lyvvie: "Would Rather Eat Plastic Doll Parts! "

That sounds like a discussion for the newsgroup.


@roxrocks: " I really don't need to know 14 new ways to sexually satisfy my mate when really all it takes is a little bit of gravy on his mashed potatoes. :)"

We men are simple creatures. All we require for happiness is a steak and a blowjob. Crude, but true.

Lyvvie said...

And all this time I was sourcing cherry flavoured lubricants when gravy would've done the deed!! There's something you won't read in Martha Stewart's magazine.

aughra said...

I'm a big fan of doing things just to annoy the mother!

Happy birthday, and don't worry about the inpingments - Fodge's was just so bad he was having a bad time swimming, and wanted to be healed up for triathlon season.

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

I once knew a girl who committed to 1000 dollars worth of magazine subscriptions over the phone -- in a single call!

I broke it off with her the next day. I'm not entering into community property with anybody like that!