Wednesday, December 31, 2008

To Do List:

  1. Wrap the new dishes I'll not use into bubblewrap and store in the garage.
  2. Clear counters and put away clean dishes.
  3. Vacuum
  4. No, tidy floors and sweep. Then vacuum...turns out I don't need to, hooray!
  5. Dust.
  6. Fold laundry and put away.
  7. Sort trash and recycling and get both out of my kitchen.
  8. Clear table of collection of stuff, throw out X-mas tablecloth, put away X-mas trinkets and doo-dads.
  9. Clear counter in bathroom, clean shower doors and tub.
  10. Consider sorting through books on bookshelf and clearing some to charity shop and library
  11. Recycle gym music for new beats.
  12. ...I'm sure there's more.
  13. Took kids to the corner store for some gogos and a walk. Oh, and to buy bread and a newspaper
*sigh* Maybe I'll just have a cup of tea and read for an hour first. Still full from breakfast. Shouldn't vacuum for at least an hour.

Happy Hogmanay!

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Jesus Turned Japanese

I'm sure you missed this news story - in fact I found it by accident. It turns out Jesus wasn't killed on the cross - it was his brother, Isukiri. Yes, Jesus managed to escape, cross Siberia and settle in Japan where he married a local woman and had three daughters and became a rice farmer. He's buried there now. The bit that made me laugh though was this,

Sawaguchi said that despite being related to Jesus, he is planning a distinctly unfestive Christmas.

"I'm not really planning anything at all for the 25th as it doesn't really matter to us. I know I am descended from Jesus but as a Buddhist it's just not all that important," Sawaguchi said.

It's a short article, found here.

My house smells awesome as I'm slow roasting a huge roast beef. They're selling off the last of the beef joints that didn't get picked up for Christmas lunch. This one is as long as my forearm and was about seven lbs.

Stuck in the house still, waiting for delivery. Sassy's robot was missing it's battery cover so it's been returned and the replacement should be here anyday. I don't like being stuck in the house waiting for parcels. I may say tomorrow - fuck you postman, just take it to the depot, and go out for a walk. In the cold. Although it's not even really cold. No really, I had to cut back the parsley this afternoon as it's grown like mad - it's survived all these forsty mornings. Heartiest weed ever. The hostas are regrowing already, the bluebells are poking through, the rosemary is still flowering as are the Livingston dasies and heather. Winter doesn't really hit here until January and last until May.

I've seen the same green jeep thing go by three times now - I feel like I'm living in that movie...what was it called? With the guy from Ace Ventura - forgot his name too...fucking brain let me think clearly will you please!! The (Lead Character's) Show. and for some reason I have Gary Silverman in my head - who the fuck is Gary Silverman?!?! which of couse becomes the Gary Shandling show which is not what i wanted, brain, try again. Truman! The Truman Show. Got there eventually. Point completly lost in the briain waffle but damn.

I'm so fucking bored I may try and bite my toenails. I'd have to spend a lot of time encouraging stretching of the limbs to allow such an act but I'm really that bored.

Monday, December 29, 2008

David Tennant Has Great Gams

Not to mention the shelving.

I'll get back to posting my own stuff soon enough. Understand the distractions. Until then enjoy the lighter entertainment. And if you can't get through the accents of Rab C. Nesbitt, don't worry - many Scots can't either.

...Oh all right I'll blog some stuff, seeing as I'm wandering about the house talking to myself - may as well pass on the annoying rambles.

I got new sneakers. I'm rather excited about them. Far more excited than any one person should be over a pair of running shoes, but I've never claimed normality.

I went to this great shop in Edinburgh called Run 4 it and they offer a full fitting service. It was this reason alone that I wanted to go there. I know my feet have gotten bigger over the years and I wanted to know exactly what size I am, although it turned out the guy who helped me, was good enough to eyeball my foot, touch my arches and know without bringing out a doohickey what size I needed. I had to walk back and forth a lot to demonstrate if I had a neutral gait or pronated. I am neutral which was a shocker as I have weak ankles and often it feels like my feet are all over the road when I run. He checked out the wear patterns on my current shoes and was shocked when I told them they were seven months old - he said they looked much older and worn for that. 10-12 miles running plus 12 miles walking pretty much all on my toes as the heel of my shoes are like new.

As it went, I'm definitely a 7.5UK/9.5US which is two sizes up from what I was ten years ago. According to my podiatrist (Not that she's mine really, I saw her once for a heel problem and that was the one and only time,) it's normal. I'm sure I've already talked about this before so you'll just have to nod and let me get on with it. He brought out about six or seven different brands of shoe for me to try and they were mostly not quite right; left foot slid about too much, foot felt too close to the ground, they rubbed the Achilles tendon. The guy (I didn't get his name, and I feel bad about that) finally brought me out a pair of Asics, "I'm up-specing on these but let's see." He seemed nervous. They were perfect. Right fit, right everything. I even liked the colour although I never give a shit what the shoes look like. (They're purple!) then he got a couple other pairs that weren't right and I said I wanted the Asics. Then he told me they were £98. Which I was ok with - I was there to get the right pair of shoes! He seemed nervous about giving me the information. I can imagine he'll have had a few folks in who baulk and offer abuse at being told the sneaks were £100I battled a bit with my frugal side where I could've gotten two pairs of the Saucony and all I needed was to wear two pairs of socks on my left foot but no; I got the Asics. Well, Husband bought them for me. He's so special.

I've never had such expensive shoes on my feet. I have found them a bit cheaper online, but the whole thing about this shop is to get the right shoe. The service is brilliant. Most of the time I buy my runners cheap in the online sales but there were so many brands I'd never heard of do I risk trying them, untried as it were? Now I know. Mizuno too wide and not cushy enough, Brooks too wide, Nike too long and high at the back, Reeboks suck all round so never even try, Adidas are brilliant, Saucony are never a disappointment. The Guy scoffed at New Balance.

I managed to find a different kind of Asics in the sales for £20

For fuck sake, can I waffle about the most mundane shit, or what? You see why I need a blog? Otherwise I'd have to dump this tedium on some poor unsuspecting soul here and who knows how they'd survive?!

I haven't run in them yet. I'm stuck in the house. I am wearing the sneakers, and my running bottoms, but a normal top. I'm like a kid in costume.

I baked muffins.
I've lost several wordtwist matches against Doug and I'm getting cranky.

My Mother-in-law gave me a large dinner service which was surprising. I normally don't accept things she offers (She's not often the giver but the lender) but this one felt different. It's an 8 person setting of plates, bowls, side plates, fish plates, tea cups and saucers with teapot, creamer and sugar bowl and a soup terrine, two vegetable platters. I think when she heard me excited about all the cabinet space I now had, she knew just to fill it up. They're a lovely design with pink lillies - which sounds awful but really they're nice. I asked if she was sure she didn't want to give it to either of her daughters, but she was pretty convincing it was for me. Now I just hope I don't drop any of it - which is why I have cheap grocery store bought plates. Remember that new set I bought in May? Two bits gone already. I was planning on a corelle set but since these fell into my lap, I'll just have to be more careful.

My Husband got a Rubic's cube for Christmas. He spent several hours on Youtube and VideoJug watching demonstrations on algorithmic solutions and them memorizing them. He now finds smug joy in asking the kids to mess up the cube and then he sits there and solves it again. He's like that. It's fun to watch him be proud of himself. I've got my cryptic crossword books and I feel great when I manage to solve one all on my lonesome and when I share, Husband throws his hands over his ears and doesn't want to hear them. He hates puns. Some clues can be racy too, here's one I found amusing: New York politician gets house for sex-mad woman (6). The first part of the clue is NY for New York, second part is MP for politician (Member of Parliament) You can either use the HO from House or call a sex-mad woman a HO, but she is also the definition in the clue. Either way you get your answer: NYMPHO. Here's another one; Busy Worker let out in car (6) Busy worker is a BEE, the word out is a pointer to an anagram, in this case let so we get a car: BEETLE. Most of the clues I'm hopelessly lost and have to peek at the answers, but I'm learning loads. See how Husband and I are alike? Except I'm not as useful, unless you happen to also like cryptics?

Have I spouted enough rubbish yet?? It's been percolating for ages and I really need to get it out.

I'm making stew for dinner.
There's still some candy left in the house and I hate every calorie of it.

uhm...I think I'm done?

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Christmas Eve, the real crazy day...

Because it's the day that I must run about and get everything ship-shape and gorgeous and dust free, clutter free and child-mark free before guests come tomorrow and I get to say "I'm sorry the house is such a mess," and they say "It looks great! I wish my house was as tidy," and we do preppy Ha ha ha's and then I serve food and drink and slip the kids a candy every so often to encourage good behaviour. Christmas Day, I must pull off a "Oh this Christmas stuff is so easy - why do folks fuss so?" and I can pull off the smugness of it. I relish the smugness of it. Even if no one gives a shit, I'll have the false security of the smugness.

Now, in all honesty, the cooking part is easy. Really I just stuff the food in the oven and it does all the hard work. All I have to do is set the timer and stack the cooking sheets just right to get them in the right order. I stand around looking bored most of the time which is probably a sign I should drink more but I should just come out the closet and admit I'm virtually teetotal. In all honesty, there's a bottle of open wine on my kitchen counter - very nice chianti - that's been there for over a week. I just forgot about it. I wish I could be that way about cookies.

I had doctor's appointment this morning because the throbbing left side of my face thing that's been going on for five weeks started to flare up again and I've finally given in and went to the doctor expecting to be told "You'll just have to wait it out, it's a virus, it'll run its course, sucks really but there's fuck all I can do, Merry Christmas!" but no! He looked in my ear and informed me I had a bunch of fluid built up in there - then invited the kids to have a look down my lughole which was just spiffing - prodded my sore, swollen neck and asked "Does that hurt?" as I suppressed a "Fuck Yah." and said "Uh-huh you can stop that now." to which he chuckled and asked me about my sputum. Ah the joys of being a GP, I'm glad I'll never have to ask someone about the colour and consistency of their sputum. How vile. But Dr. Phillips was jolly and kind and dispensed amoxicillin to me. You know I was depressed about that. Miserable about having to give in to a bunch of fucking unwanted bacterium squatting in my left sinus cavity. But they did start to give me pink-eye, so it had to be done. I lasted five weeks, and I think that makes me tough enough. I really just want to be well enough to get back to the gym - I miss running! and the weights and my friends and the tennis wall and the punching bag. *Sigh* A weeks' worth of antiB's will be worth getting back to my routine.

Weird thing though, the Dr's surgery was packed! I've not seen such crowds. It's as if everyone was in a panic that the doctors weren't going to be available tomorrow so they better stock up on the meds while they can. The queue at the pharmacy was even worse. I began to wonder if my amoxicillin was more of a party favor give away over at the clinic.

Today I'll defrost the turkey joint, make the Boston creme pie, and set up the rota for tomorrow. Clear the table and scrub it free of dried on cheerios and lentil soup, mop the floor, vacuum, dust (The kids will do that - they love it.) and shove all the books that are stacked about into the side table. I hide a lot in there...I should ferry most of what was stuffed in there when Mom came, into the recycling bin. Make more palmiers. I'm getting a bit tired of cooking, you know. I'm also tired of listening to Spongebob Squarepants and Lego Star Wars.

...I'll go make some tea first.

Sunday, December 21, 2008


My creation

I cheated to make this classic French biscuit. I use ready made, ready-rolled puff pastry because it's vegan friendly which means my daughter with the food allergies will be able to enjoy these.

I took a bowl and added a cup of granulated sugar, a tbs of cinnamon and a tbs of ground ginger. then I unrolled the pastry, lifted the pastry off the blue sheet and covered the sheet with half of the sugar. Put the pastry back on the sheet and put half of the remaining sugar across the top of the pastry. Use a rolling pin to gently roll the sugar into the pastry.

Begin to fol the pastry by folding the two long edges into the middle. then fold the two long edged into the middle again. Finally sprinkle the remaining sugar along the middle of this crease, and then fold over to have one long log.

Cut in 3/4 to one inch slices and rub the slices into the loose sugar to cover the cut edges, and then place on a baking sheet covered in baking parchment.

Put into a hot oven (450F/230C) for about 6-7 minutes or until the sugar has begun to brown and caramelise, then take them out of the oven and turn over. Put back into the oven and cook for a further 6 minutes or until equally brown.

Mine came out very well, but the ones in the corners of the baking sheet began to burn a little bit - but still edible. These took a total of 30 minutes to make. Brilliant, easy and good.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

I peed a little

It happens so rarely, that embarrassing moment when caught off guard by an enormous cough, sneeze or burst of hysterical laughter. At least with the hysterical laughter it makes it worth the changing of knickers. Today, this made me change my undies.

Oh Jared. Oh dear. Although no kohl for a change, which is nice.

(Although he was a dreamy gorgeous *high school boy* and I totally understood where Angela was coming from in her massive crush (That hair, those eyes the sad life you just wanted to hug and kiss away and run a finger over his lush eyebrows), I always had more of a thing for her. Claire Danes. She's...the One.)

Even clicking the link myself to check it works I'm laughing tears again.

Hey...did you ever notice Jared Leto is a clone of John Stamos?

90's Jared Leto80's John Stamos

You see it, right? I loved Blackie first it's got to be said. Wished he'd been my "Uncle Jesse", cor.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Where I Come Off Extra Bitchy...

...and like I hate Christmas and religion; again. I want you to know I write this as my kids are decorating their Christmas tree - go ahead and call me a hypocrite if you want to.

I got a turdmail today from a fairly reliable sender of turdmails. this isn't spam, it's first rate shit. Here's what I got exactly as I received it:

from CBS Sunday Morning (everyone should read!)

I can only hope we find God again before it is too late!!

The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning

My confession:

I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees, Christmas trees.. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are: Christmas trees.

It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, 'Merry Christmas' to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu. If people want a crèche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.

I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat. Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship celebrities and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where these celebrities came from and where the America we knew went to.

In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking.

Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her 'How could God let something like this happen?' (regarding Katrina) Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said, 'I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?'

In light of recent events... terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found a few years ago) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK. Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.

Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said OK.

Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves. Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with 'WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.'

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.

Are you laughing yet?

Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it.Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us..

Pass it on if you think it has merit. If not then just discard it... no one will know you did. But, if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in.

My Best Regards, Honestly and respectfully,
Ben Stein

Fucking ridiculous. Insane to an extreme. I thought this has to be a complete steaming pile. I googled about and found that Mr. Stein does occasional video reports for CBS, and yet this one wasn't listed, not under the title "My Confession" so I then went to snopes. And, as expected, it is a steamer of the highest order. Snopes puts up a more accurate version, but you can still the original on CBS's website here.

So you tell me which sick twat thought it would be a good idea to go twisting up lies and spreading hate in a "Yay God!" email? You do know God hates folks who lie, right? And don't tell me none of what's in the email isn't a lie - that entire bit about Dr. Spock is the biggest heap in there. Dr. Spock's sons are both alive. He did lose his grandson to suicide, which is also covered in Snopes.

Let's add in some more christian paranoia with the mention of Madelyn O'Hair, as she's certainly not the cause for terrorism and to insinuate that 9/11 was caused because there's no prayer in schools is just fucked up. "We couldn't pray enough so those Muslims attacked us. See, prayer creates an impenetrable bubble around the whole USA that is stronger the more we pray and would've kept those planes away from New York. Shame we couldn't pray in school because everyone knows the prayers from children are the most pure." The terrorists had prayer in school and it didn't stop them.

Then we move on to Katrina and Anne Graham Lotz, where she originally made that quote in 2001 in questions about how could 9/11 happen, not Katrina. Also, she says that God is angry about 9/11, not "Deeply saddened" and I have to wonder what kind of person she is to know the inner feelings of an all powerful being? Who can know what God's thinking. As an Atheist, I could really care less. The issues are all political for me and the men who flew those planes for Al Queada were puppets and fools of a bigger greed and were persuaded and seduced by twisted religious faith to commit those terrorist acts, as a whole bunch of black-eyed virgins in the afterlife are a big allure.

Then the other random bullshit that drips from this piffle:

"Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves. Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with 'WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.'"

Absolutely! If we don't beat our kids often, then how can we possibly teach them about love, acceptance, humility and morality. I mean really. Obviously none of those folks in prison ever got a right good beating as a child and now look where's it gotten them! A smack says "I Love You".

Are you laughing yet?

Most definitely. And finally I'd like to address the shit nugget from Mr. Stein himself, "I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat."

I have no idea where you got it that America is an Atheist country either. Where did you get that, Ben? Because there is the freedom of religion, the fact the country was originally populated by very spiritual people who were then killed and forced off their land by another group of religious people who were escaping from religious persecution in their home country. That makes America more of a racist and intolerant country. I think when religious groups go out of their way to harass big chain stores about their lack of Christmas marketing it's sending a message loud and true that America isn't Atheist. Not one bit. Racist and intolerant - yes. You think those who believe in God have it tough - try not believing and see what that gets you. If anything, America could do with a big dose of Atheism, or Reality as I like to call it. Then again, here I am offering reality tablets to the man who made the movie Expelled. Get your gas-mask on, for the methane coming off of that production will kill you.

I'm sending a request back to the sender of this turdmail to remove me from their mail list. I've had enough. With this kind of rubbish and the extremely racist anti-Obama crap they send my way I've had enough. Glowing examples of ignorance and a method to measure my own beliefs against, yes, it's just saddens me to believe that there are people who take so much pleasure in words so wicked, and sadly they call themselves Christians.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

I don't eat fast food...


And the Burger King is Freaking me out!!

He's got his own perfume now. "Behold the scent of seduction, with a hint of flame broiled meat." oi vey.

it's True.

Go see.


Monday, December 15, 2008

Don't Let The Fuckers Tear You Down!

First off there's this:

That's my Husband.

Secondly I'm mighty pissed off because you know how i had the mouse problem? Well it's done now - they're all dead! We danced merrily when the nights were once again silent. So the job was signed off by Mark the Gothic-Romantic pest control officer - I did explain that Mark was a bit G-R didn't I? I mentioned that when I asked him how the poison would work, he told me "Well they'll come and eat until their bellies are nice and full. Then they'll go back to their warm nest, preen themselves, fall asleep and die peacefully in their sleep." When really I wanted to know if I was going to find little rotting corpses all over the garage or attic.When I mentioned that they were playing frisbee in the attic he told me it was most likely "Death throws, and they can go on for a while." But then once I told him to cut it out with the pacifying the pacifist crap he told me straight. He cracked me up. So anyway, Mark closed off the case and I waited for the bill to come, anticipating a £200+ bill for the four call outs. The bill arrived on Saturday and was for the measly sum of £40.41 for which I am psyched. Then I get a letter today saying that I'm in arrears on the £40.41 and may be taken to court! Some dipshit got their dates mixed up, saying the call was closed on 20th November when that was when I made my first inquiry, and I had to spend time on the phone - not a free call either! - to explain that they'd fucked up and I better not get any crap from them or their debt collectors.

I already had a fucking heart attack when I got an email from paypal saying the online Japanese classes I used last year, but not very happy about, was renewing my subscription and taking £123 from my bank account. You fucking well aren't taking £123 from my bank account two weeks before Christmas!! I canceled the subscription - which I didn't know was one of those auto renew with no warning SCAMS! They are a scam. If I want it to continue I'd bloody well renew it myself, thank you very much. Otherwise it should lapse and be forgotten. I've been stalking my bank account all day waiting to see if the bastards action the withdrawal. I've sent scathing emails and actioned a complaint on paypal.

I just don't need this kind of bollocks right now. I don't need any bollocks just now. Or ever, really.

Sassy has entered puberty. I'll not go into the details but we'll leave it at "budding" and she's seeing the doctor on Thursday to quell her anxiety over the "budding". Considering her mother's extensive buds, it's not really unexpected.

It's nearly 8pm. I'm a bit knackered and I still didn't get to do my review of Delicious by Sherry Thomas which I loved! Loved it! It made my weekend, even if I had no frigging clue what was going on for the first 120 pages and I kept saying to the book "Yes I know you're trying to be all sly and coy and sneaky and make me try and figure it out but you're becoming annoying now so just get on with it already!" But all is forgiven after the second bathroom scene. The first one was funny but the second one was hot! I may re-read this just to re-experience the first 120pages with the knowledge and maybe it won't prickle so much. But get it if you like sexy romances. Get it get it get it! Thanks JMC!

I'm checking the online banking again...

Friday, December 12, 2008

Bad News is Good News

The bad news is Sun Microsystems is to close its manufacturing operations in Scotland. That's where Husband works. The whole manufacturing structure is to be run out of Hillsboro Oregon. It's very likely he'll work out the next five months and then be made redundant. The good news is, the severance pay will be extremely useful in our moving plans. That's the hope after all.

Although, this is a dumb move for Sun, isn't it always the way that the people of the company can see the right way forward but the bureaucrats can only see figures? Doesn't Sun see it's creating a huge problem with an already tarnished reputation by pulling manufacturing and support for it's European customers away to America? But what do they care about the longevity of the brand - it's about the Now that matters. Make the stockholders happy, make the magazines write good things and then we'll worry about the customer later; it's not like they're important or anything.

What saddens me about this, and it's not just Sun, it's most companies that follow this pattern, and there are far too many, is the amount of genuinely devoted employees who are determined to see the company succeed, determined to raise the brand and do everything they can to make a them successful and they still don't figure into the finances. Devotion isn't rewarded. Ideas aren't rewarded. Dickheads are - those managers who are more then happy to cut for the favourable report, but these companies have lost their soul, drive and passion for their work and are merely creating the path to their own downfall. The customer doesn't matter, the product's quality doesn't matter: it's all about the accounts. When you have a successful brand and product, you don't scale back the talent that brought you there. They also don't seem to be listening to the current demands and updating or re-working their product to fit that demand. It's lunacy. They seem pretty determined to go down in flames, and blame the staff for it. Sun: don't cull the talent, just make a better product.
And have a better after sales service, too. I may not have a business degree, but if you're not offering the best product and the best service then you can't even compete. HP have been kicking your asses since the bubble burst and you're still in the corner scratching your arses.

Husband is a devoted guy who wants to see his company succeed, but they don't want him and it's their loss. He's not the Captain, he can jump ship without any guilt. (Although, if you know my Husband, you'll know there's always a line of guilt, and it's endearing that he cares so much.)

We're lucky in that we have a plan. Others may be taken by surprise, but technology is like this and everyone who works in a tech company should have a serious back-up plan for this kind of thing. At least in the UK you can't walk into work and be handed a pink slip and then escorted out of your office by guards. Thanks, now fuck off you scum. I don't know how companies can get away with that in America. Which is why the thought of moving to Hillsboro is laughable. No way.

So we're taking this as Fate talking to us, pushing us along, giving us a sign that this is the right way for us to go. Let's get our fingers out and start making the dream come true.

We're listening! And we're very excited.

(To any Sun folks reading this - my opinion does not reflect my Husband's opinion. You want to know what he thinks, go ask him. He's partial to sweets and strong black coffee.)

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Where I come across a bit bitchy...

Because I just am today. All right? If not, then tough shit. I just am.

First off I want to tell Oprah to fuck off. Seriously, how many years have we had to endure this egomaniac and her weight issues? Fucking narcissist. So she's over 200lbs again - so fucking what? Now we'll have to suffer through her new enlightenment about her weight gain/loss issues. I know how she gained weight; she stopped working out as much and gave up the strict diet her trainer had put her on. Duh. Not a mystery. It's what happens to millions all over the world. Don't moan about it, don't carry on with the woe is me and begging for attention. If it bugs you then go back to the restrictive lifestyle that previously did the trick. Or you could get some sense and try not giving a shit anymore. It's not like you're keeping slim for Stedman any more. Didn't Stedman end up being gay? I'm sure I read that, which made me a bit annoyed but then I remembered I didn't give a shit about Oprah and her parasitic friends. So here's the thing; Oprah and her fat butt can fuck off. It's all a publicity stunt and quite honestly, no one should care.

I have a cold. Again. Damn fucking head colds! AND I just got the samples of perfume from Michael Storer and I can't even smell them. Well that's a lie because they are all EDP and I can smell them even through the stuffed nose but I can't smell them properly which annoys the tits off me. Also I got my period about 20 minutes ago. Which doesn't annoy me as it was expected but really - a cold and my period all at once is just cruel. Sense of smell is heightened during menstruation and ovulation so right now would be the best time to try out these scents to see if they make me ill or I love them to their every chemical component. But I can't smell them! AND it's not like I can make a no kissing or hugging the kids rule, because you know and I know it's those little snot wipers who keep bringing the germs into the house, as that would be neglectful and I'm not a neglectful parent.

Currently loving the radio stations on iTunes. I don't know why I never dallied with them before! You bastards never told me! The alternative stations are great and I even spent a wee bit of time listening to my old favourite, WBCN Boston, but then I realized I was listening to ACDC and thought WTF?! and tuned off and in to KRock-2 in NY and love it! Love it to bits. Where's WBRU though?! Not in alternative, not in college radio, so where is it?! Fucking travesty to not have WBRU. Even worse if it went tits up.

I have no appetite. Don't want to eat - so not like me. So I know this is a serious bug. To take my appetite away is some real nasty. I brought sandwiches to my labour suite. They confiscated them, the bitches, because if I needed an emergency cesarean it's better on an empty stomach. Did they take them out of the room though - No. I had to look at them between contractions, starving and ready to hop off the table and go feral on those sandwiches. (I make nice sandwiches!) Nine hours of labour will do that to a woman. I've had a few nibbles here and there but mostly I've had tea and cups of this Korean chili miso soup I got from Japan Centre. Brilliant stuff. Can't taste it but it stings a bit going down so at the very least chili is something I can experience. That's what fucking Oprah needs! She needs to have her sense of taste and smell removed and then give her high doses of caffeine. She'll not eat and have energy to exercise. A diet of antiseptic cough lozenges and espresso. Seriously, I should patent that.

I just want to sit here, crouched like Snoopy The Vulture, over my keyboard, Depeche Mode in my ears and not have the rest of the world interfere. But eventually, someone wants me. This time, Shorty wants me to help her get into her dragon costume. She had her Christmas concert this morning at school which was great fun to attend. I love seeing the wee kids all singing at different times, one shouts the loudest, one dances the craziest and they all look in different directions or wave at their own parent or pick their nose as if no one else is around. They were wonderful. Shorty was a Christmas tree. She's currently covered in glitter and dressed like a dragon.
Grrr!Grrr...wait what's on the telly.

Forgot to take the macro lens off the end of the camera first. Fuck it.

Can't stop peeing. If I didn't have my period I'd be wondering if I was pregnant.

I think I'm done now. I may be back later with more to complain about.

Husband has had bad/good news from work. I'll make him an apple pie. Damn this period or I could've given sex too but apple pie will have to suffice.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Aren't they cute...

...when they sneak on my computer while I'm making breakfast in the kitchen? Mommy's computer! Get back!

The kids love photo booth

Monkeys. I love them.

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

The pain in my face is coming back. I'm rather annoyed about it. I hope it doesn't turn into the clamping of the muscles down my left side like it did the other week, but I'm seriously fed up with it. It must be something setting it off. A friend recently talked about similar symptoms and it turned out to be dust motes. I have plenty of dust, but not the musty kind. More the free and fluffy kind. Vacuuming doesn't set it off. I don't really know what sets it off. But it starts with a soreness on my tongue like it's swollen, moves to the left tonsil, then the ear gets a bit tender and finally the sinus pain. Sounds like a food allergy, huh? Why it only affects the left side of my head I don't understand. Anyways...

I've been reading more and still working on the cryptic crosswords. I'm in no way a super sleuth, but I think I'm better. If I can get four or five answers in the daily paper I'm happy. After writing that I went to Amazon and bought a couple of "how to" and easy break me in cryptic crossword books. I'm such a geek - love me.

I've spent a small fortune on Amazon today between my humble crossords and the pile of treats for Husband and Sassyface. That's all I can say. And a new chopping board as mine has split. And some new shirts for Shorty as she's suddenly grown out of the ones I bought her in September or they shrank but I'm going with mutant growing child - two inches since May and she's all arms and legs.

I'm colouring my hair. Those pesky greys at my left temple are so determined! So I don't think I can do the dark brown anymore. I'm having to move up the colour scale to a lighter brown. Light frosted brown to be exact. *shrug* I'll probably end up with light roots and dark ends; it always happens that way. Also, perhaps colouring my hair while having this face ache isn't a good idea. Although I did find the cause and now feel better - there was a green sporing orange in the bottom of the fruit bowl. I don't know how it got there as I keep oranges separate from the other fruits in the fruit bowl for exactly that reason. Fucking manky thing. I hope that's all it was.

I finished reading Mary Balough's The Ideal Wife. I'm not impressed. In fact I'm quite peturbed. She completely chickened out of the big confrontation with the antagonist. I was all geared up for a united front of a confrontation and what does the annoying heroine do? She says "No please we can't go in there - let's go home instead." Huh?! You can't run away! Gee whizz what a swizz. I put up with her rambling on and on because she's obviously kissed the blarney and her husband who only married her so his Mom wouldn't force him to marry some Deb, is all "Ok honey. I love you and I hope you'll tell me the same thing some day soon because you're breaking my heart here." Grrrr. I feel cheated. I want the fight! Who cares that big secret is such a let down, I wanted to see Stepmom put in her place. And these little sisters that were the whole reason for the Stepmom's blackmail (Pay me tons of cash and I'll disappear and you can raise my children.) NEVER Show. Never ever. No cute wee sisters flouncing about telling Perfect Abigail how wonderful she is. Nope they stay in Bath the whole time. Whoever edited this needs a strip torn off them. So apprently, this was originally written in 1991 and I've got the reissue edition. Why didn't the reissue have the missing chapters? Come on - there had to be a confrontation that somehow was cut out - this couldn't have been the whole book. Also the Hero falls asleep after sex and that is romance novel heresy!

Husband is home with the drugs. laterbye.

Friday, December 05, 2008

Are we normal again, yet?

Getting there maybe. Husband is home and there are remnants of his presence left everywhere. He will protest quite vehemently that he isn't messy, but when the amount of dirty dishes doubled, no spoons left in the cutlery drawer, a pile of possibly dirty- possibly next day wearable clothes at the foot of the bed and the shelf in the bathroom covered in manstuff, he's not invisible.

I go some of my perfume samples from Les Scentures yesterday and that's exciting! So far I like the smell of the caps on all of them, but I'll have to give each a try over the next couple weeks.

Today I tried Musc Maori by Parfumerie Generale, and doesn't that sound like a dark heady scent? Maori musk. I had images of the New Zealand Rugby team doing their Haka. Can you imagine the energy, strength, determination, intimidation and tension of those moments captured in a scent? I was very interested in this, it must be powerful scent. Well it's not. Not even a little bit. In fact when I first smelled it I said "It's a toffee." and for the first few moments I did smell like a fresh, hot buttery sweet toffee. Ever melt butter in a pan with sugar and vanilla? Go do that now and then you'll know how I smelled when I first applied this. Then after a few moments it mellowed and turned into eggnog. Gently spiced, very yummy, but still eggnog. An hour after I applied it, it softened further into a fairly generic vanilla powdered musk scent and it's lingered about like that for the rest of the day. It pretty much disappeared six hours later where I'm left smelling only faintly of vanilla sugar cookie. The musk is very light and more the white musk than animalic. Even now, it's evaporated off my skin but a bit still clings to my sweater's cuff, it's creamy vanilla. So any New Zealanders reading this want to explain to me why Maoris smell of sugar cookies? Just doesn't fit the image I had in my head. Maybe there's a Women's Rugby team in New Zealand and they smell of home baking?

I'm trying to teach myself how to do cryptic crosswords. I've always avoided them because, dammit they're weird! But I must not fear the weird. It's just that every question is a puzzle in itself and if you don't know how to solve them you're pretty much buggered. Even with some help, it's still hard. I've bought a newspaper each day and done as much as I can - not much, but the answers are in the following day so I can finish with a cheat sheet. So I've been learning that a lot of them are anagrams, or the answer is hidden in the clue but others are like any crossword clue; the maker pulled the answer out of his ass.

I've not heard mice for two nights running. Tuesday night I only head the faintest of gnawing but nothing that kept me up. I don't want to jinx it, but I think they're finally gone. I'll have Husband take me to the hardware store to get some traps so if they come back while he's away again I'll be able to set up the ladder and take of it myself and not pay £45 per call out for the exterminator. Although the thought of teetering at the top of a ladder at the top of a flight of stairs doesn't appeal.

The kids keep asking me to bake cookies, any recipes you guys want to recommend?

OH! I'm very excited about the upcoming Christmas special blogbook:


Aren't you all-a-tingle in anticipation?!

Monday, December 01, 2008

Jolea told me too.

Jolea said everyone should put their iPods on shuffle and list the first ten songs that come up. So here goes...

1. The Icicle Works - Love is A Wonderful Color

2. Fields of Nephilium - Moonchild

3. Luther Vandross - Never Too Much (From the Grand Theft Auto Vice City collection) Skipped.

4. The Damned - Eloise

5. The Violent Femmes - Blister in The Sun

6. Julian Cope - World Shut Your Mouth Hump that mic you scary bird man.

7. Westworld - Sonic Boom Boy

8. ELO - Four Little Diamonds

9. Siouxie and The Banshees - Happy House

10. Bauhaus - Ziggy Stardust

Apparently I have way too much 80's music on my iPod. Why it didn't pick up any of the gym pod tunes I don't know, but that's what you get. 80's saturation. Wait...why is it only giving me 80's tunes? Fuck - no wonder, it's on the 80's playlist. Let's get off the playlist and try again...

1. Fair - Ben Folds Five

2. Feng Shui - Gnarls Barkley

3. Oliver's Army - Elvis Costello

4. See You In The Morning - Mint Royale (Can't find the track so listen to Blue Song instead. No wait! Try Show Me! Why not just buy the CD and enjoy them all. I adore Mint Royale.)

5. We Belong - Pat Benatar

6. Oily Water - Blur This one bugs me as it always makes me think the battery's running flat.

7. Lime House - The Breeders

8. Me & Mr. Jones (Fuckery) - Amy Winehouse

9. Racine - Buffalo Tom

10. I'm Not Dead - Pink

I know for a fact no one is going to listen to all of those but I was a bit bored this morning and really didn't want to wash the dishes and strip the beds so it was a suitable procrastination. However it's done now so on with the dishpan hands.

Girl Crush

She's fabulous. This is on my wish list. If Santa fails he'll get a kick in the balls. At the least a mouse in his grog.

Her video dedicated to Sarah Palin

Oh, okay one more because I feel this one closely.

Cry for help...

I sent another message to the council's pest control:

I am currently being assisted by one of your pest control officers. He was out on Thursday afternoon and put seed traps in the attic. There has been constant activity up there since, I'm sure they are playing frisbee with the feed bowls. Can it be arranged for the Officer to come out ASAP as I'm convinced the attic traps have not worked. I've had to sleep on the inflatable bed in the living room for the past two nights as the noise is too disturbing. I look forward to hearing from you.

Thank you very much.


The Supreme Goddess of Rodent Central.

Oh, yes I did. It really was that bad last night. They were dragging something across the floor, skipping and jumping around it, they'd scurry to the front of the house if I banged the wall and then would have a wrestle and return to whatever it was they were dragging about with added digging and gnawing. I realised last night, my attic is floored. All this time I thought it was just beams and insulation. I may have to ordere another aerobed because Husband comes home tomorrow and we'll never be comfortable on the double bed together. It;s going to be awful. He'll probably get the bed and I'll be stuck with the beasties.

It's winter, there's a dusting of snow. I'm sure after a few weeks of this I'll turn into Jack Torrance.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

It's war.

Unable to tolerate the rude scratching from the rodent in the attic even though a few times I stood on my bed and banged my fist on the ceiling to tell it to shut the fuck up, I ultimately had to pull my blankets and pillows from my warm spot and sleep on the inflatable mattress in the livingroom downstairs. Thank the universe for Aerobeds.

I'm calling environmental control and having the guy come back ASAP. I can't sleep in the living room every night until Thursday, when he's due back. This vermin must be impervious to his poisons, or it's got too sophisticated a palate to consume it.

I'm restraining myself from climbing up there with a ball peen hammer and pounding the wee fucker.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

In Search of Scent

It's that time of year again where I linger about drug stores and department stores trying to find a new perfume to call my own. I prefer to not smell like everyone else; call me singular, antisocial, crazy whatever, but I like knowing I have a unique aroma (And I'm not talking about the gym pong either). I get a thrill when someone stops me, who isn't a blaring example of crazy, and asks me what perfume I'm wearing. It's always a conversation starter with a fellow perfumista/o, and I like that kinship. So of course I'm starting out on the wrong foot, one cannot possibly buy a unique or rare scent in either a drug or department store.

So how do you go about finding a new, lost, underutilized, unique scent? First you have to know what you like. No point going floral if they give you headaches and if sandalwood makes you nauseous then you better know how to spot it. I find, if you know what's in your favourite perfume, finding a varying formula is usually a good thing. Be brave but sensible.

Let's use CK One as an example. I use this as it was the number one scent in the mid 90's for men and women. You couldn't walk ten feet without smelling it on someone. So let's say you like the lemon freshness of CK One but don't want to smell like everyone else. Find out what you like specificlly about the scent - it it the fresh lemon you get when you first spray it on? Or do you prefer the warmer green scent that follows about an hour later? Maybe it's the undertones of musk and amber - does your nose go right to the guts of the scent or does it prefer the airier side of the scent?

Well for me it was the airier side I liked, which is odd as I'm definitely a warmer, musk fan. As it was, I couldn't wear CK One on its own. I always mixed it with another scent, in particular Coco Chanel. When I wore the two layered together, I got stopped a lot. It became my favourite scent from 1994-1997. Coco also goes nice with lighter white musks.

Beginning in this way I found that certain combinations of scents were better then broad board scents. Kenzo Flowers is obnoxious to my nose as it's just flowers. It doesn't seem to mellow down to anything with character and diversity. It's just an bash of sharp, stinging flowers up the sinuses. Even though it has two of my favourite notes in it; opopanax (sweet myrrh) and musk, they're too overpowered to be fully appreciated.

A perfume has a personality. Three layers of revealing itself. Top, middle and base notes tell the story of the perfume. Top notes are what hits you when you first apply the scent, middle notes are what comes from the scent after the tops have evaporated a bit and the scent warms on your skin, base notes are the heavier scents that linger the longest and hold the scent together. Scents evoke emotions, memories and transport you to grassy glens, woodlands and waterfalls. They are an escape. Where do you prefer to escape to? For me it's the woods. What's it for you? Fields of poppies? Metalworks? Caribbean beaches? There's a scent or all of these.

What I do is I trawl the internet for scents I've never heard of. I frequent places like Basenotes and Now Smell This and find those exclusive little boutiques, or the scents that big brands keep private and don't advertise as heavily. Most of the boutiques will offer samples for a small price - no point buying a scent that sounds good on paper but ends up disappointing. Remember my Marilyn Miglen disaster? I thought I was getting a spicy, sweet rush of an oriental scent and ended up with an old ladies powder room. My Mother-in-law loves it so it's not a waste. So the samples is the best way to go. I also love the glass counters in the far right nook of Jenners where they hide the exclusive and obsessive scenteurs. I always walk away with a wish list and purse full of samples. I don't think one spray is ever enough to commit a lot of money to a scent - and let's be honest, a decent scent can cost a fortune (Says the woman who loves the smell of Old Spice and Coty Wild Musk).

So, I've finally decided on what my new scent is going to be for the new year. I'll buy the new one on my birthday. I just have to figure out whose scent to get. That makes no sense really now does it, but what I want is Cuir de Russie, Russian leather. It's done by a few houses; Creed, L.T. Piver and Chanel all do a version of Cuir de Russie. I currently have the L.T. Piver one and I like it a lot, but of course I'll have to ferret out samples of the others to be absolutely sure. I've read reviews of the Chanel that say it's not all that Russie, and there's heavy debate over whether Creed or Piver have the true Russie feel. What does it smell like? Light, fresh, hint of leather and woodsmoke. Fresh out of the bottle it's like a gin and tonic by the woodside. I adore this scent. The Piver one does fade to have a hint of plastic doll's head (and if you're a parent you may know what I mean) I've read it reviewed at "The most homoerotic perfume of all times" and oddly enough that doesn't turn me off it. I often wear men's colognes, or unisex scents, which Cuir De Russie is. Shame it disappears after a couple hours. I'm sure the Creed version will be too masculine as it's what Creed does, but the Chanel one has tweaked my interest and I'm heavy on the search for some.

Recent samples I've ordered are from Michael Storer. ($15 for a set of six) When I left a note in the paypal asking if there were samples of their limited edition scent, Winter Star, they sent me an email thanking me for my order and that they'll include the extra sample for me. How nice is that! I can't wait. I already love them for the customer service alone. (After posting this I went to my other samples haunt of Les Senteurs in London and nabbed five samples. I was hoping to find Musc Kublai Khan by Serge Lutens, but alas they had none. I'll review what I get.)

For now I have my Piver. Come give me a warm tight hug, I have a little behind my ear.

Chick said find the funny...

Well actually she suggested I find the Good. But funny is good!




And if that didn't make sense then watch this

Did you get those in the States? I don't like creme eggs so I don't eat them, but I know I'm in the minority.

I feel better now, even though I was woken up three times in the night by an elephant in the attic. It was moving furniture. Excavating ceiling space for it's acorn sculpture collection. (I'm making light of it, because if I ponder the possibility that it was a rat I'll freak the fuck out) I think it finally "fell sleep" (that's my version of death throws now) at 5:45 by which time, it was impossible for me to get back to sleep. What an annoying beastie. The attic has small feeding dishes of poisoned seeds, and I'm guessing this greedy glut ate the lot and then proceeded to drag the food bowl around the floor. Strong little, tiny field mouse. Or maybe it was a pair of them. It's always nice to have a friend help move furniture.

I'm taking the kids to the school's Christmas Faire today. EARLY MUCH?!?! For fuck sake; Really. I'll have to very stern on the no buying tons of shit and rubbish as the school's faire tends to be more like a flea market with home baking and skittles - that's the bowling type game, not the candy.

Can't get Somalia song oot m'heid. (Why didn't "Oot m'heid" become redlined? You tease me autospellchecker! You tease and taunt and I find it not amusing. HEY! You left in autospellchecker too! You cannot be trusted.)

Friday, November 28, 2008

What's that phrase again...

You know, the one about the World. It's the one that sums it all up when things aren't going well. Oh yes: To Hell in a Handbasket. The World Is Going To Hell In A HandBasket. With pretty red bows and bells and everything.

Why I browse the newspaper headlines I'll never know. It just makes me so angry.

Horrified over what's happened an is continuing in Mumbai. Horrified about the Shannon case here in the UK. There's at least six stories about child abuse and infanticide. Is it any wonder I'm a boderline agoraphobic? Is it any wonder the world is edging closer to Islamophobia? What is wrong with people. They love thier God so much they kill for him, even though that God says "Don't Kill." Ridiculous. Insane.

And I only wanted to get the cryptic crossword for the weekend. Now I feel like filling the garage with canned goods and water and never come out until people smarten the fuck up. Buch of sad bastards.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

That's not right...

I'm not planning any kind of big thanksgiving meal, as it's just the kids and I. But I figured what's the harm in making a few nice things. So I have turkey breast steaks and potato wedges so I thought I'd make some stuffing balls with bacon wrapped sausages and a cornbread/biscuit thing. I have no recipe for a cornbread/biscuit thing so I started a search.

I found this recipe and thought, Hey that sounds easy and it's different way of making biscuits:

Bonfire Biscuits

These are called Bonfire Biscuits because they are great to eat standing around the bonfire on bonfire night!


6 oz vegan margarine
1 tbsp syrup
1 cup of each of plain flour, sugar, dessicated coconut, oats
½ tsp bicarbonate of soda dissolved in 2 tbsp hot water


Melt the marg and syrup in a saucepan. Mix in the dry ingredients. Add bicarb and water.

Place 6 or 8 teaspoonfuls of the mixture on an ungreased tray and bake at gas mark 3, 170C until golden (10 to 15 mins). Cool slightly and remove to cooling rack.

Repeat until all the mixture has been used.

So I have all the ingredients which is a bonus. I changed it a wee bit by cutting the sugar and coconut in half and instead of oatmeal I used cornmeal.

Smarter bakers than I may already be laughing.

Not The Biscuits I wanted.

These are not biscuits! These are cookies! Fucking Brits and their twisted language. I hate falling for this. I wasn't even aware it was a UK site or I'd have twigged earlier. And I kept telling myself, "That's a lot of fat and sugar for biscuits..." and honestly, they are sweet enough with my alterations that if I'd used the full recipe as was I'd be in a sugar coma, or running naked in the rain from the sugar high.

As a cookie they're pretty nice though!

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Get over yourself!

From the Telegraph:

Truman Show Syndrome delusion: Sufferers convinced they are on reality TV.

I know someone who'd annoy a few psychiatrists with this psychosis. In fact, if she actually ever read a newspaper, Edinburgh would be in trouble as I have no doubt she'd be wandering Princes street shouting "You are all pawns in my TV life!"

I may have to get that on a T-shirt.

I saw Secretary for the first time last night and I loved it. It's been playing through my mind all day. What a neat movie and what amazing, complex characters. I'm seriously annoyed I watched it alone because I think I needed someone to talk about it with after the fact. James Spader was amazing. It was nice to see him looking so fit, as this movie was made before he started the Shatner Diet. (I've used that joke twice today because I think it's funny.) I think the movie was more about Mr. Grey than it was about Miss Holloway, although we seemed more invested in her story. He was by far the more complex of the two. A sadist who can't kill a mouse and hides from confrontation and is completely sickened by himself. Fascinating. I have a new appreciation for Maggie Gyllenhaal, having only seen her previously in Batman Returns. (Yes, I know I need to get out more, care to babysit for me?) as she was really good and I wonder how much of Miss Holloway was edited out of this movie. She didn't seem as developed to me. Acting was wonderful.

There was a mouse in the attic again last night. Scratching away and I couldn't sleep through it. In fact I had very little sleep last night and feel a bit flat because of it. I had a weird moment where I thought my shoulder was being pulled away from me, and I even thought the ball and socket were coming apart and the tendons were about to snap. I woke up with my arm completely numb. Then I heard the mouse, and couldn't drop off as I was auditorily (I'm making it a word) attached to the wee fucker, stalking it with my mind across the rafters. Finally, I had a visit from Ghost Cat. This time I wasn't as excited about the visit as it jumped nearly into my hip and then hopped over me to claim the empty space next to me. This one was noisy too; purring. I could feel the bed vibrate from the purring. It annoyed me so much I sat up and shook the half-sleep hallucination from my head and broke the spell. Purring was actually the very loud refrigerator that had kicked on in the night. I forgot to shut the kitchen door which I normally do because the fridge wakes me up. So, Ghost cat was dismissed. Shame I couldn't do the same for the fucking mouse. I now feel guilty for chasing Ghost Cat away. Get Over Yourself!

Pest control comes tomorrow for round two. I'll ask him to drop down the bags of clothes in the attic. I'm sure the wee fuckers have gnawed through a bunch of clothes I've set aside for Shorty to grow into. If they wake me tonight I'm going to turn into Mr. Roper start banging on the ceiling with a broom handle and break up the orgy.

Husband has to stay on in (Bahrain? Borscht?Baryshnikov?Dover?Dublin?) Dubai! (my fucking head gets stuck like that sometimes. I should type it out more, you can feel the frustration I go through when I know the answer, have said it a million times over but my brain decides to hijack the word from me. This is why I will, without a doubt, forget your name the minute I'm about to meet you or introduce you. This must have name, this brain hijack embarrassment thing.) until Tuesday next week. He was supposed to be home Friday. He's rather pissed. I feel his pain. He's not the work away from home kind of guy. 23 days away is getting him down. Then he still has the backlog on his desk here to sort through. I feel for him I really do. The sooner we can emigrate the better. Because I'm tired, sore (still grinding my teeth) and a bit lonely (The kids' conversations can only get me so far.) I'm feeling blue today. Still, it can't compare to what he must be feeling. Thing is, he's now worried they'll ask him to stay on another week. Here's hoping they don't kidnap him and chain him to the desk.

I finally... (ten minutes later)...I have no clue what I was going to type. Hurricane Sassy came home and sent her histrionic energy surging through the house. It's homework night, have mercy on us all.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

My Obsession of the Week: Biscotti

I'm trying to find the perfect biscotti recipe. This is my third attempt and so far it's the closest. Each round brings me closer to the right mixture.

Toasted Almond and Lemon Biscotti

Needs a little more sugar and possibly a tablespoon of almond extract. My house smells amazing from the toasted almonds.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Where to buy?!

Husband sent me an e-mail asking for one of the tax disc holders in he picture.

Husband wants.

I of course want to oblige, but where to get one?!

My head is feeling a lot better after sitting with a hot water bottle on my face for a few hours. I now have a killer knot of pain under my left shoulder blade - this lets me know that whole debacle is caused by a trapped nerve. I get this sometimes if I twist around and reach up. Used to happen all the time when the toilet roll holder was above and behind on the wall. The next day it would feel like someone had punched me in the middle of my back. Just now it's that with added neck strain. I've spent half the day trying to pull the muscle gently into a stretch and then rub it, until the blood flows out my hands and they tingle annoyingly. I crackle a lot. Tight tendon crackle noises are creepy. I keep worrying I've stepped on one of the kid's toys.

I went to the gym today (After a lot of stretching and painkillers) and although my stamina is down (four weeks off will do that) my strength is unchanged. I was getting really worried I'd lose my muscle tone but apparently I'm made of tougher, muscly stuff. For which I'm thankful. But I pulled off my 40 minutes cardio (jogged) and weights for legs and butt. I'll leave off the arms and back until the pain subsides.

I'm going to do Leigh Peele's 30 day One Big Meal challenge. I've been collecting recipes to use and may do a post series about it. I should commit, but my enthusiasm waxes and wanes. Yesterday I was all YES; today I'm a bit meh. I'll probably do it. It's blog fodder, if anything.

I hate that standard Women's trouser lengths are 29', 31', and 33'. I need a 32'. So all the damned time my trousers are either a hint too short, or need cuffed. This is why I have to break my rule of not wearing men's clothes anymore, and buy men's jeans because at least I can always get the length right, even if they bag at the waist because I'm an hourglass shape and need the bigger waist to get over my hips. Someone (preferably female) empathise with me please!

Saturday, November 22, 2008

There's a village of trolls in my head...

I'm guessing. I don't what else could be causing the extreme pain down the left side of my head and neck. The pounding behind my eye in under my cheekbone is driving me crazy. Trolls are excavating more space within my skull and now down my neck, as I'm in no doubt, they are breeding. You may be thinking sinus infection, and I would almost agree except that there's nothing there. I mean, and I apologize for the indelicacy, but there's nothing to blow, nothing draining and just nothing in there to cause this kind of pounding even though I have the constant urge to snerk. That is the proper word for that extreme kind of deep inhaled sniffle one does prior to hawking (Harking? Hauking?* Never been sure) a lungie (I may have got snerk from Calvin and Hobbes). My ear is hot, my neck is sore and yes....yes I've been champing. The teeth grinding and jaw pain is driving me nuts too. Can't wear my glasses as they are incredibly sore on my nose, which means I can't read. But, of course I can't not read, so I'm wearing the broken glasses that only have one arm as they are the lightest. You're not getting a picture of that.

Photosensitive (too many white backgrounds with black text, it's killing me), audiosensitive (Turn that TV down!! Stop shouting!!), and being downright tetchy as a result. I thought kids were supposed to have better hearing than 30somethings.

Can't sleep.

Sounds like I'm stressed. Which explains why I'm hungry all the time. All. The. Time. It's ridiculous. I don't eat a ton at any one time but I seem to eat all day long. It's not good for me. At least I'm back to the gym on Monday. (You hear that, kids! No sickies allowed! You just better stay healthy or Mommy will go mental!) Yet, I don't feel stressed. I don't feel depressed. I feel fine in those respects.

I may just give in and buy the damned codeine tablets and hope for the best. I've only needed them once before, but I'm still glad to live where I can get them over the counter and not have to pester my GP with such a thing

I bought the newest Adrian Mole book called The Lost Diaries of Adrian Mole 1999-2001 which I was surprised to see as I was under the impression Sue Townsend wasn't going to write any more so she could deal her poor health. She was registered blind in 2001. I'm pleasantly surprised to see she'd not given up after all. On checking Wiki, I see she has another Adrian Mole book planned for next year called The Prostate Years. I read my first Adrian Mole book when I was thirteen and have been an avid fan ever since. I even, once upon a time, had a penpal in England named Adrian. I was so excited.

Sassy is getting a bit surly and clingy all at once. "I hate you! LOVEME!!" kind of thing. She's driving me nuts. I'm supposed to go out today and get a birthday present for my mother-in-law but I'm not feeling up to it, and there's a Pokemon movie marathon on. I just didn't have the energy to fight, nor the want to hear the decibels she'd launch at me if I said "We're going shopping." Thing is, it's nice out today, and it's supposed to rain tomorrow. Well, snow really. they predict snow. I laugh at that. No way. Not here. Yes there's a foot in Aberdeen, but I'm costal and in the valley. Not gonna happen. (That's Murphy's cue to prove me wrong so I can bunk off tomorrow, too.) (Should there be a comma before too? I always thought there was but now it looks funny.)

Time to watch the Pokemon movie now. I promised to sit with her and watching it with her. I'm a good mother, and I shall resist the urge to pull a book into my lap no matter how bored I get with the movie.

I want popcorn.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Crap! Is that the time?!

Where did my morning go? I can't believe I used all my writing time watching Cyril!

Sometimes YouTube is a curse. But I love it. and I hate it. But I wouldn't want to be without it.

Right! This one is for Doug because I know he'd love to be Paul.

....Oh all right! One more and then I really must do some work. It gets turned off after one more Barry and Stuart. (Aren't they cute!)

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

I'm mad about orange stuff...

I've been looking over my eating habits for the past couple weeks and I've noticed a very large increase in my craving and consumption of orange foods. In particular are oranges, sweet potatoes, carrots, squash/pumpkin and persimmons. Especially persimmons. I'm currently addicted to persimmons. I mean I'm seriously craving them. I walked four miles yesterday just to get some. I'm eating three or four a day and twitching for more.

So what's in those persimmons that's making a persimmon junkie? I figure they must be high in beta-carotene as they're orange. But what else? Can I OD on persimmons?

I found this neat site that will give the full nutritional breakdown on many foods, including persimmons.

So what have they got? Well they're high in vitamin K (whatever that is), A, E and omega 6. Also high in phosphorus, manganese and potassium.

But which one of these things is my body craving??

I've even been online to find out if I can grow my own persimmon tree in Australia. Imagine my glee when I find, I can. I may become a persimmon orchardess.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

It could've been worse...

bedroom toys
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It could've been better, too. I'm probably not kinky enough. Maybe I don't *think* I'm kinky enough. No, I'm pretty sure I'm just not kinky enough.

Monday, November 17, 2008

My kid is awesome...

Clumsy, but awesome. I got called by the school not twenty minutes after dropping her off that she'd fallen and hurt herself. They said she cried a little but calmed down quickly and just seemed a little demure about it. I asked if they thought I should come and get her and they said they didn't know. Shorty wasn't crying for me and had gone back to play in a less excitable state. I said let her stay then. I kind of wish I'd been a bit more overprotective Mom because when I picked her up I was a bit shocked to see her injury.

Thick ear

The whole ear is purple, swollen and the bruising extends down the back of her ear an over her head. She has a line of bruising along her cheek from the edge of the table she fell onto. I immediately thought, Shit - she could have a concussion! I phoned the doctor's office and told them I was coming in and if they could please find someone to check her over. I've seen enough CSI to know folks can walk away with head injuries and die hours later. At least that was the movie playing in my mind.

The GP was unsure and gave me a note to take with me to the accident and emergency. I had to go to the bank to get cash because I'd come out without my bag and had nothing but my phone on me. Cash and a phone, I called a taxi and bought a small lunch from the grocery store. We were lucky the A&E was empty and Shorty was seen quickly. Three consultants and an hour and a half later we were let go with advice to watch for vomiting and dizziness and to give her calpol (the standard children's painkiller).

She was so brave. The weirdest thing was she barely cried. She teared up a little but didn't throw any hysterics or scream or any of that stuff. She was completely brilliant. In fact her oddly perfect behaviour is what made me most uneasy and suspicious. But she was just being brilliant. So I bought her a cat magazine with mini siamese cat toy in it, a packet of wine gums and let hr have her pasta without any sauce, just chicken, which is how she likes it best.

Thick ear

While I have a minute...

Just to update on things because I've been otherwise engaged in entertaining and whatnots. I'm feeling much better. It was a pussy of a cold that had it's worst and was done in three days. I just have a lingering cough every so often. Mom is still barking like a seal however but the woman will recreationally smoke when she's on vacation here; in the cold, outside. Poor Husband is in Dubai and he has the cold, but he thinks the heat is helping him get through it. He and Mom both got the exhaustion part of the cold, where I got the snot tap and cough with occasionally headache by snot dehydration. Lots of nose blowing. The kids are so far immune, the lucky wee sods. (That's wishful thinking. Sassy says this morning she has a sore throat.)

The kitchen is finally done. A job scheduled to last 3.5 days lasted two weeks with us waiting for a lightbulb and fan panel for most of it. I had to chase them up a lot, like "When are you coming to caulk the sink and hob?" "When is the tile guy coming?" "When's this lightbulb arriving?" I'm a bit worried about this lightbulb because if it took a week for them to order I, where the hell am I going to find one when the bulb eventually blows? But I've moved into the kitchen and I'm practicing Gordon Ramsay's habits of wiping down the surfaces all the time. Now must remember to sweep the floor more often. Always a hitch to my plans.

Nanowrimo is a no go, but the month isn't over and I may make up some cram time later this week.

I miss the gym. I miss my walks and I miss fresh air being in my lungs for more hours of the day than house air.

I have overdue library books. Well, had. I renewed them and paid my £1.58 fines. I then found a book Shorty took out from the library seven weeks ago. That's not good. At least they don't fine overdue books on the kids' cards. (Update: Shorty has two other books out still and I have no clue where they are in the house. We'll have to have a dig under her bed I think. Scary place.)

I play wordtwist a lot on Facebook, mostly against Roxy and Dr. Doug. Seems everytime I'm against Doug Mom knows and starts suggesting words behind my back. She can't see that I already have the word, or that she's adding letters not in the list. I have guilt about cheating, but I haven't beaten him for several rounds so I'll say she's not adding to my player's edge.

Woke up this morning feeling oddly attracted to Nick Hornby. I don't know why. I'm thinking, I like the few stories of his I've read, wonder what else he has for me.

I bought Lost In Austen because I enjoyed the mini series when it aired a couple months ago. I'm bummed though because I have to return it because it's missing one of my favourite scenes where Miss Price is on the spot to perform on the piano and she can't play a note, but she can sing. She sings Downtown by Lulu. The scene is totally AWOL on the disc. I mean, sure the show had a few atrocious challenges to my suspension of disbelief - like when Darcy finds Amanda's torn up paperback of P&P in his ornamental pond and he's reading it - not once did he comment on the amazing wait, sorry - painting on the cover, the fact it's a paperback or look at the publishing information where it would've said it was originally published in 1813 republished in the 1990s at least, seeing as it was a Penguin Classic. But no. That was not the best written scene, unfortunately. The rest of it was highly amusing. Except, Lizzie understands being a character in a book and accepts it, but Darcy never mentions a curiosity which seems out of character for him even after his visiting modern day London. But all that waffle aside, I'm annoyed there's a scene missing and from the reviews I'm the only one which is encouraging.

I'm sure there's more I could blabber on about but I have deskwork to attend to. Joy!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Steer Clear of Typhoid Mary

That would be my Mom. That's what she used to call me whenever I had a cold, and guess what unwanted gift she brought over with her from Tennessee. I assure it wasn't anything stuffed. No she brought a full blown case of the Dreaded Lurgy. So she's hacking up a lung for a few hours every morning and describing her symptoms in such lurid detail that I'm completely off my food. I've not gotten it as bad, I don't think but I did have a distressing moment yesterday morning when the alarm clock went off and I'd been sleeping in one of my twisted arm poses, so my hands were completely numb and I couldn't feel the right button on the alarm to turn it off. Husband was saying "For fuck sake turn the alarm off, you'll wake everyone up!" and I said "............." Which was really, I'm trying but my hands are numb and I can't feel the button, help me please! But I had absolutely no voice as well as the inability to use my hands. He was sympathetic after my distressing minute of voiceless, numb panic. He was very sympathetic though and we sad a sad goodbye without tongue as he went off to work in Dubai for three weeks. I'm sure the 40C dry heat will kill off the Lurgy for him, if one of my germs happened to make its merry way over to him in our snog avoiding affections.

So I'm living on Sinex (I now it's evil but I can't sleep if I can't breath and I can't get better if I can't sleep) and going through the fancy box of balm tissues while periodically greasing up my face in scented (not that I can smell) vaseline so I don't get blow-sores on my nose and lip. So far the kids are showing themselves to be of higher calibre immune systems for which I'm grateful and jealous all at once, but that fact didn' stop me from stocking up on cold/flu meds for kids just in case. Reality.

NaNoWriMo is so far becoming a bust, with kitchen not quite finished, Mom here, Husband away, kids a bit high and crazy on all the new changes coming at them fast and furious and the new head cold that makes me have flashbacks of last November's NaNoWriMo killing chest infection, I've got a measly 5000ish words which means I'm woefully behind. I'm not quitting. I figure the exercise is more about getting the rough draft done and not about to golden 50K words. Tell me I'm right so I won't feel like a total fucking failure.

The kids do seem very interested in maximum embarrassment to their Mom lately. On Friday Shorty was in the middle of the living room playing with Grandma's large magnifying mirror when she straightened it up so the mirror was facing the ceiling, and then tried to position herself over it in a wide legged stance. "What are you doing, Shorty?" "I want to see my privates." Now I can understand the child's curiosity over her body and at four not grasping the concept of privacy for these kinds of explorations, but she was fully dressed at the time. My mom found my embarrassment much funnier than the child's act.

The second time was when the girls and I were getting changed to go swimming on Saturday. We were in the middle family sized changing room when Sassy announced loudly for all to hear over and under the adjoining walls that she was beginning to get hairs on her vagina. There she was bent over in an attempt to find these hairs. I shushed her and told her it wasn't the time or place for that and just get her suit on. I later asked her if the new hair was like hair on her arms or more like eyebrow hair and it turns out we aren't starting an early puberty after all. She's becoming very aware since I had a talk with her about puberty and periods and the signals to be aware of that her body is changing. I didn't think she'd be putting so much focus on those potential changes. I figured it would be in one ear and out the other like most of the things I tell her. The kid can't remember to change her underwear or brush her teeth but she's finely tuned to the emerging growth patterns of her pubes.

It's a lovely, sunny day, and the windows are disgusting as we had gales the past two days and a bit of rain. So cold or no cold, I'm going out to clean the windows.