Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Meme tag from Doug!

I got taggled by Doug, and loved it! Well, I think I will anyways, I haven't written it yet. But don't just read this, read the Halva one too as I wrote that first and I hate when decent posts get ingnored because two things come together at once. In fact I would've saved this one until Wednesday except I was a doofus and told the tagged folks I'd tagged them and didn't want them showing here thinking "Bitch is crazy - where's the MeMe?" But really read the Halva one too.

Three Things MeMe...

Three Things That Scare Me:
1. Losing my kids
2. Middle-age Spread (not nice on toast)
3. groups of teenagers at the bus stop. (Ironic as I used to be the teen in a group at the bus stop)


Three People Who Make Me Laugh:
1. Johnathan Ross
2. Rik Mayall (I still have durty daydreams about him)I have such a crush on him, too!
3. Weird Al Yankovic

Three Things I Love:
1. My family
2. A clean house (Come clean my house?!)
3. Fresh linen on the bed (come make my bed?!)

Three Things I Hate:
1. Know-it-all blowhards who talk talk talk but have no idea how to listen.
2. Intolerance (And yet I'm intolerant of of those intolerable blowhards)
3. Fungus. Be it athlete's foot, plantar warts, yeasty privates...

Three Things I Don’t Understand:
1. Jokes. I usually need them explained and then I still don't find them funny.
2. Why do they ask for it and then don't eat it but cry if I take I take it away?!
3. You broke the rules, I punish you and you hate me why?!

Three Things On My Desk:
1. Coupon for %15 off new sneakers at my favourite shoe site.
2. Credit Card (resist temptation, resist resist!)
3. Nivea lip care pearl and shine (I use it to distract my daughter from the important stuff on the desk)

Three Things I’m Doing Right Now:
1. Getting ready to go to the gym
2. Trying not to wet myself as I really need a wee.
3. Editing while eating lunch.

Three Things I Want To Do Before I Die:
1. Live in Australia.
2. Live in Japan.
3. Extended tour of the Med.

Three Things I Can Do:
1. Listen and write at the same time.
2. Read and listen at the same time.
3. hear a watch ticking from three rooms away.

Three Things I Can’t Do:
1. Speak and read at the same time.
2. Reach back, grasp my feet and rock on my belly.
3. Hear my husband tell me something from three feet away.

Three Things I Think You Should Listen To:
1. Your mother. If not yours then someone else's.
2. Your inner child; Swing with your kids don't just push them, Go down the slide, spin until you're sick on the merry-go-round. Eat copious amounts of chocolate cake.
3. People who give you a compliment. Yes they are being nice, be nice back.

Three Things You Should Never Listen To:
1. Aggressive criticism.
2. That voice that says you can't.
3. People who only talk about themselves. (blogs excluded)

Three Things I’d Like To Learn:
1. Japanese.
2. Sewing.
3. The piano.

Three Favorite Foods:
1. Cinnabon.
2. Grapenut pudding.
3. Lobster.

Three Shows I Watched As A Kid:
1. Scooby Doo. (pre-Scrappy)
2. Gilligan's Island.
3. Three's Company. Every episode.

Three Things I Regret:
1. Some burnt bridges.
2. Not going back home after my Dad died. They said I didn't have to, but I wanted to.
3. Not picking up that fat wad of American money I saw on the sidewalk, assuming it was owned by the person who lived in the house nearest. I should've taken it to the Police. I walk by that spot almost everyday and wonder if it was stolen.

Three People I Tag:

Everytime (almost I exaggerate sometimes) I tag someone they don't do it...

Maya
NWJR
Chunks

Now don't go anywhere! Read the Halva post just below this one!! I posted it first and will be annoyed if it's ignored.

Halva?

How am I supposed to eat Halva? I bought some of the sesame and pistachio with vanilla and have been eating it out of the tub but I'm sure that's wrong. I don't know what it should be eaten with, or on. It's not easy to eat either because it's quite dry and crumbly - I thought it would be more like peanut butter but it's not, it's like dehydrated cake frosting or crumbly fudge. With pistachios through it. It tastes great! But I just wish I knew how best to eat it. (Here's a recipe)

I've tried it on toast and it's ok but being crumbly it's quite a messy operation.I kind of hoped it would begin to melt and spread a bit seeing as it's fatty, seed based and it did a little bit but not enough. I've tried it with fruit which was also nice. I think It would go great crumbled on top of ice cream, but I am making guesses here. As far as a sweet goes it's rather nutritional

I'm good about trying new flavours. I like new cuisines, new tastes. Coming to the UK opened up a whole new aspect of food I didn't have previously. I'm not saying Cape cod is lacking in international fair, there's hundreds of Mexican and Italian and Chinese restaurants, all very similar with the same menus (here comes the hate mail). Coming to Scotland I was introduced to Indian, Thai, Japanese (in all honesty I didn't actually try Japanese food until I was in San Francisco in '96, for my brother's wedding, but I came back and found Japanese restaurants and went to them here.) I've learned to not be afraid of food, or at least not to be afraid to try new foods.

I've been stung by bad foods, don't get me wrong. I'm not a fan of pesto or ratatouille, or anything heavy with paprika; I'm just not a fan of those flavours - but I at least tried them, several times, before passing a judgment.

On Friday I was at work, and was perusing the naughty food aisle for a snack for breaktime. They had a new product: baklava. A dozen small servings all made in different pretty designs. I had to have it. I went up to join my co-workers who then began to peer suspiciously at my baklava. "What's that?" "Baklava." "What's baklava?" "Greek pastry, want some?" "NO!" and even after they all read the ingredients , been assured it was a sweet pastry, a dessert, a treat, they still were all "You always eat weird stuff." "What's weird about baklava?" "It's just...foreign" "Well, I'm foreign. I'm also not afraid of a pastry, you weirdo." and so the conversation went. A room full of foodie xenophobes and me, the foreigner, eating Greek food. It was shocking. One of them finally plucked up the courage to try it and declared "It's ok." "Really? It's not horrible?" There you are <- that sums up a lot of my experiences in Scotland; they trust no one and nothing and live in a rather small world and they're happy with that. I'm not saying all of them, certainly not, but a majority.

When I meet someone new I'm usually asked "Have you had haggis?" as if it's a big challenge to eat haggis (I love the quote from Mike Meyers' character in So I Married an Axe Murderer regarding haggis "No, I think it's repellent in every way. In fact, I think most Scottish cuisine is based on a dare.") Well of course I've had haggis. I'm not a coward. I may squirm at the thought of sheep's eye soup (I won't eat anything that's looking at me) or some Eastern cuisine that include dog or monkey but I don't disdain or fear those who do eat those foods. In that country, I would try it. Maybe not eagerly, but with manners and respect because to these people monkey brain is like a haggis.

I was having a packed lunch once with a friend who was from Japan and I had a small tub of apple sauce. He looked at it with that pinched up nose curiosity people get when they think they're about to get a nose full of sour milk or dung. "What is that?" he asked and I told him, apple sauce (which to a foreigner, having learned the word sauce may have thought it was something akin to a condiment) and I offered him some. He looked at it, smelled it, examined it..."Just try some already!" "Don't rush me! Would you try sushi so fast!" and I laughed. He tried it and then proclaimed "It's baby food!" and gave it back to me disappointment and disgust. At least he was curious and interested about it.

How can the Brits live so close to Europe, have such ties with the East and be afraid of new flavours?? They have the potential and desire on some level to be a melting pot but with such attitudes it's a dim hope.

So, anyways....how should I eat this halva?

Friday, May 25, 2007

note to self...

An egg white omlette with peanut butter on a cinnamon raisin bagel is not a very agreeable breakfast. *burp* ugh....

Thursday, May 24, 2007

On The Blog

This is an excellent half hour show that we listen to on BBC Radio 2 on Saturday after Johnathan Ross is over. It's very funny. As a blogger I find it hysterical. As someone who's not super savvy with a computer I find it gut splitting funny.

You must listen to it. You must. Take some time and have a listen - oh and I'm listening to it while blogging this so aren't I the super geeky one?

It's about the blogging adventures of Andrew Glasgow, his interfering Czech mother, his internet pals and trials and tribulations with blogging with deadlines. This week - popup-porn spam while his mother is having folks around to view the house for sale. Oh Boy!!

Oh give it some attention you'll not be disappointed.

On the blog - Click On The Blog

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

poo.

I'm not too interested in blogging this week. What can I talk about? That I feel fat? that I feel old? That I'm looking middle age in the face and not finding it any kind of milestone, more of an annoying reminder that "You've not put in enough effort in this life. You're bordering on a C in life experience." Who wasn't a satisfactory life? I mean It's ok but I want the A grade life. Mediocrity is poo.

So, it's one of those hormonal, fat, crappy, mooooody days. I want to suck down poisonous amounts of diet cola and eat my weight in chocolate.

I haven't been reading Niccolo's Rising. I got a bit bored. I went to the library yesterday and bought a few withdrawn from stock books that looked interesting. Let's see...what are they again? *shuffle across the room* ok, there's Lucy Talk by Fiona Walker, The Artist's Way At Work which is a collaborative work that'll show me how to find creative freedom in twelve weeks. It has Chinese dragons on the cover which I kind of liked. The other two books were for SassyFace; Faust Eric by Terry Pratchett, it's a Discworld book, and The Cat Who could Read Backwards by L.J.Braun. I also borrowed - which I actually do occasionally - The Mermaid and the Drunks by Ben Richards and SweetMeat by Luke Sutherland. I don't know why, they just grabbed my attention.

Tonight I'll be watching The Apprentice and playing on HogwartsLive

after that I'm sure there will be sleep, possibly a shower.

It's all a bit poo, like I said.

Saturday, May 19, 2007

New Book Woes...

A new book is about to be released. A few very lucky reviewers have had the divine privileged of first reading in order to rave about the book to us, the eager (and unprivileged) populace. But what does the reporter do? Ruin the fucking book with blatant spoilers! How can they do that? How can they sleep at night? How can keep their job when ruining the very book they've been entrusted to review? It's one thing to hate a book and report the reasons's why, but to ruin the entire plot of the book is just mean.

Some hate a story, others have it in their keeper pile for decades. But not even give a reader a chance to figure out for themselves by spilling spoilers is an offence worthy of having one's eyes plucked out. Ok, maybe a bit extreme - how about we bash their fingers with a wooden meat tenderizer a few times.

I'm refering in part to the yet unreleased Robert Kaplow's Who's Killing the Writer's of America

Now, my annoyance isn't really the reviewers' fault - link is a SPOILER!! Warning!!. OK in all honesty it wasn't even a book review I read, it was a snippet of an article about how someone famous - a comedian who feature's strongly no less, I mean isn't all publicity good publicity? - in the book, who ends up being the murderer (spoiler MF), hates being portrayed in this manner.Aw pooh! He has such strong feelings about this that he even tried to block publication of the book, but failed. The book is still due for release.

But of course, now as I write this, this very uptight, head-up-his-butt "Comedian" (who really hasn't been too funny since This movie which is a SPOILER but at least I warn you so click if you want to be spoiled and of course he'd want to spoil the mystery of the book - if he couldn't block it then by hell he'll ruin it by spoil spoil spoiling it for everyone and how. He'll be doing drive-bys of book store's shouting "I did it! It was Meeeee!!" He'll be crazy walkin' through queues at book signings causing comedic mayhem, knocking books out of customers' hands and tipping the stacks over, drawing attention away from Kaplow.

It all promises to be very interesting. I'll pre-order just because I think Mr. Spoilsport has become too dour in his old age and needs to lighten up. I mean if Andy Mickey Rooney can tolerate This then seriously mate - get over yourself.

Friday, May 18, 2007

Thursday, May 17, 2007

When a joke becomes reality...

Although I've always heard it was the guy who tried this...Click it!

A few things come to mind; Dyson "No loss of suction", The dustbuster scene in Ruthless People now makes a bit more sense, and I'm not cleaning it - as it's used for cleaning it defeats the purpose to get it all gunky and gooey, surely the tube will rust - it just invites all kinds of problem none of least is a regular tetanus shot.

Next we'll see dildoes that attach to your shower head - We'll call it the Unicorn! Now that I think about it - dibs on the idea - anyone who takes it has to pay me 10%.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Conversations

I'm going to start posting some of the conversations that my mind randomly creates to entertain itself. I should've been doing this all along, as it's something that happens every day, several times a day. I daydream conversations, with random people. The reason I haven't is usually laziness; the conversations take a few minutes, but writing them out could take hours. So I'll not worry so much about it. they're not really stories, just snippets of conversations I make up in my head. This one started because I was frustrated with my backpack because it wouldn't stand up nice for me while I enjoyed a rare treat of a coffee, by myself, in a cafe. Understand it's had minimal editing.

Coffee Conundrums...

Roger enjoyed his Sunday mornings. He worked hard all week and Sunday was his day to relax, not think about strategy or deadlines, and just absorb the world. His favourite place to relax is in a small café in the theatre district. It was never too busy, played a nice mix of classical or jazz music and had a very buxom brunette who stood behind the counter.

Roger would come in at opening time with a couple of Sunday newspapers and read every page. He drinks cup after cup of coffee and occasionally treats himself to a pastry. It's important to commandeer the table in the far right corner, as it's not too close to the door, the counter or the toilets. Strategically it's the table that ensures the least amount of contact with any other member of the public who may also come into the café today.

It was eleven thirty and he'd finished reading the headlines and political articles n the newspapers, and was about to move onto the arts and entertainment sections with all the magazines and television listings. He didn't watch television often but it was still nice to look out for a decent documentary.

He'd just sat down with his third mocha and a fruit scone when he heard the bell ring on the front door to say someone had just come in. The noise continued with a rustling of many plastic bags and the heavy breathed conversation of a woman speaking loudly into her mobile phone. She stumbled into the cafe, off balance from her shopping bags and large pink backpack. She quick looked around and chose a table near Roger, to his left.

Roger sighed and flicked his paper up to obstruct his view of the woman, but he could still hear her.

“I'm having a nice morning and I'm sitting down for a coffee so don't preach to me about the kids missing me. I'm with them all week, you only have to watch them for a couple hours.” she said into her phone, while unwinding bag handles that had been strung on her arm up to her elbows. “Do you think they're missing me because they're having such a miserable time with you...well then why? You know what – I don't care. You deal with it. They're your kids too, so trying remembering what fun was like ok. I'm having a coffee, a sit down and one more hour of peace, ok? Well, good. Bye then.”

A corner of Roger's paper flopped over and afforded him a view of the woman. She was still making noise and m uttering to her backpacks, which didn't seem to want to stand up on their own, but fall over into the walkway. She turned them left, turned them right, leaned them against the tablebase and then with a curse she gave the bags the finger, kicked them and let them fall under her seat where she then used them as a footstool. Roger tried to flick the paper back up but it kept falling back down. He heard her order a black coffee and a cinnamon bun. It certainly wouldn't take her an hour to finish that.

“Excuse me?” he heard her say. “Uhm, excuse me, are you finished with this newspaper?”

When Roger looked up to see who she was talking to now, he saw her standing in front of him. “What?” he said.

“Are you finished with this newspaper, I'd like to read it.”

“Sorry, it's my paper. I'll be taking it with me.” he replied.

“Oh, sorry. I though they were the café's. Sorry to bother you.” and she walked back to her table and began typing away on her phone.

Roger returned to his reading and tried to block out her disturbance to resume his calm, Sunday morning. A few more people came into the café, and Roger realised the lunchtime rush was starting. He was well entrenched at his table and wouldn't have to suffer too much interruption from others.

“Excuse me, again.” He heard her voice and his shoulders dropped. He looked up from his paper,

“Yes?”

“Would you mind watching my bags while I go use the bathroom?” she asked, already getting up from her chair and collecting one of her backpacks, but leaving the large pink one and all of her shopping bags.

“I'm sorry, I don't feel comfortable doing that. No.” he answered and went back to his paper.

“I'm not going to be long, I just need a pee. I don't want to drag all of this into the toilet with me and I don't want to lose my table – so do me a favour and watch my stuff for me, please?” she explained quickly and looked up at him once she was ready to go.

“I'm not comfortable being made responsible for your belongings. You should take them with you or hold it until you get home.”

“Are you serious? You won't watch my bags foe me, not even for three minutes? Are you leaving soon?” She put her hands on her hips and scowled at him.

“No,” he answered and returned his gaze to the paper in front of him.

“Then what's the problem, it's unlikely anyone will try to steal something but just in case, if anyone does touch my bags just shout at them or something. You seem able to speak at least.” Her hands spun about in the air accenting every word she spoke, and then rested on her hips again.

“I'm not watching your bags for you.” Roger answered, not even bothering to look at the ridiculous woman this time.

“Well, I think you are. You see this pink bag, it has my daughter's asthma and allergy medicine in it. If that gets stolen, and she has a reaction – I've got nothing to help her. She could die. And you'd have to live with that because you couldn't be bothered to watch my bag so I could go for a pee.”

“If it's so important why isn't the bag with the child now? Why do you have it with you? Just take the bag with you and stop begging strangers to be your security guards. It's your responsibility to watch your bags, not mine.” he said with clipped assuredness and managed to flick his paper perfectly upright, and blocked her from his view.

“I'm taking this one with me, it has all my money and cards in it – just watch the rest of them...” she continued but he interrupted her, tired of this tedious conversation, “I will not watch your bags. It is completely inappropriate to ask me to do so, to instil guilt for not wanting to guard your belongings is highly manipulative and uncouth. You asked me and I declined. Please desist from speaking to me any further!”

“Yes, you're right,” she said slowly, “But I'm not dragging all these bags into the cubicle with me. I am going for a piss whether you 'guard my belongings' or not. If you let someone steal my bag then it's on your concious. I've already explained it's importance.” she said, and walked off towards the Ladies' room.

Roger, dropped his paper to the table and stared at her as she walked away. He couldn't believe she'd gone and expected him to look after her bags. Well, he decided, he wasn't going to look after her bags – let them be stolen. He didn't care. Not his problem.

He went to sip from his coffee but it had gone cold. Damn her! He was enjoying his quiet Sunday routine and who the hell was she to come in and disrupt it all. Loud mouthed, rude and stupid. She deserves to have her bag stolen. She deserves to be taught a lesson in self-reliance and not trust strangers to guard her things. Hell, what makes her think he wouldn't steal them!

Well now, there was thought. And no sooner had it popped into his head then he was getting up from his table, rolling up all his papers and walking over to her collection of shopping and stuffed them into the nearest bag. He gathered up the bags, and grabbed the heavy pink backpack and was ready to walk out, but he stopped. No he couldn't keep the pink backpack it is wrong to steal a child's medicine.

He looked around and saw the brunette employee, “Excuse me, would you be able to keep this bag behind the counter for a few minutes. The owner is in the toilets.”

“Oh, uhm,” she thought for a moment, then shrugged, “Sure.”

“Thank you very much. See you next weekend!” and he handed the bag to her over the counter, thanked her again and then left the shop as fast as he could with the rest of the shopping bags.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Black Tuesday

I broke the wireless keyboard by knocking my coffee over it. I was turning away from the computer to yell at SassyFace who was, as per usual, not behaving while eating her breakfast; her knees up on the chair, picking her rice crispies out with her fingers and not her spoon, and kicking her sister, and when I turned back my hand hit my coffee mug and spilled right across the keyboard.

She's suffering my wrath and anxiety over how Husband is going to take the news. To my relief he took the news in his stride, I just have to pay for a new one. SassyFace is public enemy number one. One step out of line and she's grounded. And as you may remember, tomorrow is her playdate with the boy-friend. That'll be my leverage to attain a quieter morning.

Currently using the usb keyboard with the too small keypad so I keep hitting capslock every time I want to hit the "a" key. And yes, this is the second Mac keyboard I've spilled coffee on - they really need to make them a bit more robust.

Monday, May 14, 2007

Smart Bitches Day!

Hooray - there's something good about Mondays! Spending time some wonderful Smart Bitches is just what every Monday needs, I dare say.

Now, if my kids will be quiet and behave long enough for me type this out then we'll be in business but I'm not making promises as Shorty has already eaten the erasers off three pencils today and Sassy has forgotten to do her homework - again - and will have to finish it before getting any movies. This means Shorty will be a demon until she gets her shows - and it's all just so frustrating and annoying and dear lord above give me strength.

Futurelove by Summer Devon aka Kate Rothwell an e-book publication via Ellora's Cave

Future love is about Collins, a G-man from the future where life is dull business and everyone takes drugs to suppress their normal hormonal developments. Evidently everyone is completely hairless and fairly androgynous. He's part of a time traveling police force and he's sent back to 2006 to prevent an assault. To do this he has to blend is so he stops taking his suppression drugs and starts to turn into a man that we here in 2006 simply adore! He's our typical Perfect Man in muscleboundedness, handsomeness and he has quick reactions and morality. Bless him. He's turning wild.

As the story is only 105 e-pages it doesn't have much but the basic on a back story. Something happens regarding anti-time-travel rebels (called Anti-Timeys which I thought was comical - for a rebel group they didn't choose a very rebellious name for themselves) and Collins is shoved into his time travel immediately, without changing his clothes, getting his chemical assistance or anything useful; just zapped away.

He lands almost on top of our Heroine, Candy. She's sitting on a park bench pondering ponderable thoughts when Collins crashes onto her bench. He's dizzy, woozy injured and looks weird in his black jumpsuit. But because he's so darned handsome she takes him to her place to fix him up.I'm sure as a child she brought home birds with broken wings and baby hedgehogs and squirrels.

She tries to talk to him but he's busy being very secret squirrel and he keeps staring at her mammaries - they're completely new to him. So are womanly figures with narrow waists and rounded bottoms. It starts to dawn on us the reader, as well as Candy that this guy doesn't really have a whole of experience with girls. Possibly (but he's so gorgeous it cannot be possible) a virgin?! Squeee (that's girl talk for happy happy oh dear lord about so happy) in delight he's sleeping over and he's going to play with her. Candy decided to become a FemDom - of polite sorts. Although she does use rather naughty words at his insistence. Perhaps not the innocent girl as I'd previously thought.

They have some "quality time" together, he's trying to look at it as scientific research and getting to know historical mating rituals, but he learns awful quick that this science stuff is kind of fun and feels good too! She's getting a bit emotionally attached already and can't quite understand why.Collins has to focus on his mission, and stop letting his annoying member do all his thinking for him - but darn it it's hard!! Poor man, a full grown adult with an adolescent's new surging of hormones.

He gets his mission done, and starts to get back to where he's supposed to be to get zapped back home, but something's wrong - he's not going home. It's not working And then some psycho Anti-Timey trie to kill him with a destabilizer - the bitch!! Well she's not going to get away with that, but if there's one assassin, there may be more. He decides he better get undercover and hide away. Who best to do that with than Candy!

She needs him to help her out anyways because she has an annoying mother who's hellbent on getting grandchildren no matter who the man in who helps her daughter along. So he agrees to go and make an appearance as the new boyfriend to chill mom's baby urges. I'd think if anything seeing an uberhot man with her adult daughter would spur on the baby making nagging because every grandmother wants gorgeous grandkids. Candy should've found a dull looking man instead, but that's just my opinion.

Problem is, he likes Candy, but has to get back to the future and find out what's happened at Time Travel Quantico, Candy likes Collins (Candy Collins - how would we mix that drink? One finger gin, two of cranberry juice, a splash of SoCo and lime juice with a frozen cherry on the bottom?) but doesn't want to ask him to stay because geez - they only just met, and she was kind of easy and how freaking clingy-psycho-bitch would that be? But he can't stay, and she won't ask him to. It's all so sad really - poor folks.

So he decides: he's leaving. Thanks Candy, I'll never forget you but goodbye - one more for the road? Great. Then he goes and acts like Grizzly Adams, living in the woods, trying the transport point routine every morning with no luck - will he ever go home? Weeks pass and he's smelly, hairy and quite the, erm, man. But wait - look, there's a snooty looking mime prancing about in the park - No, it's another agent! He says some rather rude stuff to Collins, doesn't really go into any details about the Time Travellers or the Anti-Timeys or much at all about all the whoo-ha that sent him back abruptly and had an assassin on his back. But from his rude vagueness Collins makes the conclusion that he doesn't have to go back - Hooray he'll stay with Candy!

So Grizzly Adams shows up on Candy's doorstep, they have a tense conversation, a wonderful surprise and it ends with the beloved HEA!

I liked it - I did, it was fun and only took a couple hours to read. The characters worked well together, were believable and I never doubted their attractions or felt they were forced in their courtship. I did think Anti-Timey was a silly name, and I thought Collins said "Gah!" a bit too much, after the tenth Gah I was saying Gah out loud myself. A Gah Gah Gah that's all I want to say to you! I was left wanting more. This story could have been spun out for another 200-300 pages. All the stuff with the future, the academy the rebellion needed to be told more. The meeting with the mom was way too brief and I would have liked to see her character and her interaction with her daughter played out more. More on how Collins has to combat his newly acquired wood and animalistic urges versus his training - there's a lot going on there and I'd like to see more. I was disappointed it ended too soon. Other than that, not a bad way to spend the afternoon!

Now, I must beat my kids.

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Happy Birthday Shorty!!

Shorty is Three years old today!! I managed to make her a cake - which was a challenge because of her egg and milk allergies, and she got some lovely dresses from her Daddy - which she asked for. She got a baby doll and a stroller (I'm not a fan of these toys but the kid loves them!) a collection of books, a Fairy Princess activity pack and a baby genius DVD from Auntie Teresa. Here's some pictures of her in her new dresses.

This is getting no fun now.Am I smiling?I don't want to smile anymore.PICT0042

She doesn't do photos well - she thinks she's smiling but then she's not. She also argues that sitting is better than standing - yeah you'll see the dress better that way - and she began to cry and the fun was gone.

Anyways - my baby isn't such a baby anymore. Pardon me while I cry in my coffee...someone give me chocolate already!

Friday, May 11, 2007

Part of me thinks...

NO frikken way - I'm not cleaning up that! Part of me thinks - where's my credit card?! Yes Gelli Baff is here!! It's made from the stuff that's in diapers! How much fun is that!? And you get to bath in it!! Who's up for peeing in the tub? Not me, kids??...but watch the video at the bottom of the page - it's fabio! And there's a version for us grown-up too. I no tell you lies!!

This made my day I don't even know how I found it but darn I'm glad I did. If only I had a chimney.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

New Book! New Book!

...I got a New Book and it was Free!! Further promotion of Kate Rothwell/Summer Devon's book contest, if you haven't already gone to Kate's Site and told her you'd love to get one of her published works for free then - Why You so Stoopid?! (Raina what have you done to me?!) Get going and get your free book already! Geeeez! You only have until the 9th of July, and not only will you get a free book (JOY!!) but you'll be entered into a contest to win even more with a prize of a gift certificate to some bookstore near you (up to $60 worth - that'll be some good Summer Reading!)

I got Futurelove, which Doug talked about a wee while ago and I thought "giggle giggle snerk - sounds like fun!" (and that was mostly for the penis check chart he includes at the end - no seriously, go read it it's great. You never read book reviews like this in magazines which is a crime.)

So I'll be reading my sin ridden ebook this weekend - are you going to be reading one too??

Monday, May 07, 2007

Smart Bitches Day!

Today is SBD where we take part in reviewing books that have a lean towards but necessarily must be romance. Actually - it can be any book, I think the rules have loosened up a bit.

Many moons ago, Beth(Our hostess with the lovely shining locks and desperately cute feet regardless of what she feels about them I think they are adorable and I'm not even a fetishist or anything like that!) wrote a review of Nicolo Rising by Dorothy Dunnett. On her review (which I can't find! and I've trawled through all her SBDs for the past two years and I'm sure it was around December when she talked about it...) I bought the book. I've been reading it sporadically for the past few weeks - my time is very limited and I have the curse of literature interupptus which is when someone says "OH! You're reading. What's it about? I've been reading blah blah bother blah..." and I am on: page 149. Don't laugh at me; and I'm it's only now getting some momentum.

When I read a book I'll read it at it's own pace. A fast paced book will be read and done in no time. A slow paced one, like this one, takes me weeks to get to page 150. At this point I still have no clue what's going on, where the story is taking me and who, indeed is the story is about. I admit I may be used to the formula of we meet hero, we meet heroine and then enjoy their first meeting. I don't think that's going to happen here. I feel more like a ghostly tag-a-long who sighs and kicks stones waiting for some action to get interested in.

I admit as well I just had to cheat a wee bit in the book. I went to Amazon and read some of the reviews. To find out if there really is a main character and that the story should start taking off from about now - as I've just read the bit where the trading group have arrived in Geneva. I found out that the main character will be Claes. They did focus a bit of attention on him and his cocker spaniel personality on a stallion's physique. See, the cheat was worth it because somehow this shag-about, smiling, simpleton-oddish sort of boy is going to become a banking bigwig in Switzerland. Ok, I'd like to see that character development.

I kind of have a soft spot for Julius, the accountant, and had thought it would turn into his story. But I feel it unjust to make him a simply notary and number cruncher, although I can see how he'll become more important later on. I hope so anyways - seriously if anyone deserves some loving and release it's Julius. But I'm undecided on whether he may be gay...suppose I'll find out. Maybe.

The kind of bummer thing is I'm craving a Gothic, dark romance kind of story. Not quite Sherrilyn Kenyon, but not quite Bram Stoker either. Any suggestions?

I totally want to buy these shoes there are hideous and cool. Jeans will love them. I love these too. but gosh - expensive!

Saturday, May 05, 2007

Oh Boy Oh Wow!!

Contest! Free Book!! Prize draw!!!

Here's the great deal being offered by Kate Rothwell. Read one of her books and review it. You don't even have to like it, but I'm sure you will. Then write a review of the book. Do this and you get entered into a prize draw. If you pimp her contest on your blog, you get entered again!

Go! Now! See Kate, get a book and get reviewing!! the dishes can wait, so can the kids, job or visit to granny's. Go read a fun story. You deserve it. Go now. She even writes about sexy stuff - uh-huh, yup. Tempted? Then go!! Click the link!!

Friday, May 04, 2007

I'm too busy banging my head right now...

A good piece of music, no matter who does it, re-does it, remixes it, desecrates it, canonize it, tries to class it up or just has some fun with it is good at its very soul. I found on some listenings that I had a moment of horror, but when it gets into the that amazing bass all is forgotten. It tugs on the spine, pulls at the soul and makes you forget everything just to move and feel it.

Even the ukulele. Jury is still out on Paul Anka.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Bring back, bring back, bring back my body to me to meee!

I always though that song was body and wondered why the guy's body was lost - obviously he's a tormented ghost or something. I thought it was a pirate's song. Note my disappointment to find out it was a song about some woman named Bonnie. I like my version better.

I had a bad curry on Sunday. I bought it because I didn't want to cook and figured a store bought one would be fine. It was one of the family take-away packs complete with two curries, rice, naan bread and Bombay potato. It was gross. It was fatty, greasy, thick and flavourless. Yet we ate it. I've been regretting that decision for the past two days.

I'll summarize the problem with: I stink. I've been bloated, gassy and oh dear lord my toilet time is eye watering. My body does not like that much fat in it's food, and the greasy curry has been slicking through me with a vengeance. I belch bad curry, I sweat bad curry, I pooh bad curry. It was a bad curry. I've never used so much air freshener in my life.

I'm now skittish about curries and have had stir-fry for the past two nights, home made, by me. I'm stuffing myself with fiber and warm, watered down fruit juice to clear out all the bad. Finally this morning, I'm not smelly.

I've not been out of the house for two days. Not because I stink, but more because Shorty has a cold and has been sneezing non stop. Poor kid! I think it's allergies. She's not got any discolored nastiness coming out her nose, but she's exhausted from the sneezing and coughing. She seems better this morning too.

So she's better. I'm better. We're going to the gym today. Yes, I really am. Even though I'm tired, run down, feel like stink without the stink, I'm still going. There's no real reason other than my own laziness and that's a lame excuse for not going and I'm not into lame excuses no matter how whiny the voice in my head cries "I'm so tired!!" Tough. Just tough. We're going.

This tiredness shit is annoying too. I'm your classic morning person. I see sunlight and *BING* I'm up. I used to wake up ten minutes before the alarm clock, wide awake and chipper. Now a days, I'm dreading it all. I barely hear the alarm clock and hide in my bed clinging to the last few faint images of my dreams. I have to be shaken awake in the night by my kids, where they used to only have to roll over in their beds across the hall and I was up, alert and ready for action. What's happened to me? What's going on? And it doesn't matter how early I go to sleep. I could go to bed at nine and still be sloth at seven in the morning. I keep wondering, if left to my own devices, how long would I sleep??

Seriously, I would be happy to survive contentedly on six hours sleep. all the stuff I do in my days, and only six hours sleep. that should be ok. It really should. But I fear this is yet another sign of my age and I don't like it.

So. I guess I should go and dress for the gym then huh. Yup. Here I go.