Tuesday, March 27, 2007

ow ow ow..

I have sore hip bones! Ow!

I started running again and It's given me an ache in the hip. Geez! It's not one of those arthritis pains, or anything - it's sore muscles inside my hips. It's very unkind.

Targets are to run 5K in 25 minutes. I think it's doable. I have until 1st of July to get there - that's when the Run For Life is. Cancer charity run, it's my first ever. Awesome huh!! Actually...I need to sign up for; I keep forgetting. I'll do it later, but definitely tonight. yes I will. yes I will. shut it.

We had parent teacher night tonight and I found out my Sassyface is top in her class for maths. Now, those who know me are probably thinking "How could that happen?! Didn't you fail algebra about three time?" well no I didn't, I failed it four times - I just needed the right teacher. But my daughter is awesome with the number stuff and I'm very proud. I'm sure her Dad has something to do with it all. But she's rather low in the class for writing. Can you hear my soul crying? It is, listen. It's pathetic right? I'm a writer, she should have gotten that from me! What does she get from me - my temper. It's so unfair. I carried her you know.

Friday, March 23, 2007

I could write that...

I was having coffee yesterday with some friends and one was talking about the upcoming hen night she's planning for her friend. Because she's been lumped with maid of honor (MOH). Although the bride seems to be planning everything. I'll summarize the conversation...

"So Laura is saying we have to do the river tour and she says we can all dress like angels or sluts. So I'm excited I can wear my wings."

I say "Uh-huh" and think I could write that

"But her boyfriend hates the idea, he doesn't want her to have a hen night, worried she'll get off with some guy or something. As if!" "Uh-huh" I could write that "Then she says to me she's inviting her cousin, who hates me and thinks I'm a total bitch for breaking up with Chris - that was four years ago, get over it already but no she's determined to treat me like garbage every time we meet."

"Wow" I could write that But then Laura drops the big news: "Her mother is coming, too." "What? Her Mom?" I could totally write that! "Yeah, and she's bringing Ian."

"Ian? To a Hen Night?" A guy on a hen night. A Step-Dad on a hen night. I could write that.

"Well yeah, she can't go anywhere without Ian. It wouldn't be too much a problem to have her there. I mean she won't wander around much and she'll never see the costumes."

"How's that?"

"She's blind. Can't see a damned thing unless it's two inches away from her face. That's why she has Ian, he's her dog." I have got to write this.

I blocked out most of what she saying after that as I was delighted with the thoughts of what could go wrong on this hen night. What if someone got the dog drunk, or the dog was so excited about all the party going and being slipped snacks that he forgot his duties and Mom went wandering and gets lost on the boat, or worse falls overboard! Flailing her white stick about. What if the fiance stalks the party in another boat, trying to look through binoculars for proof of male strippers and then spies something he doesn't like and goes Piratical on the party boat! They hit the bridge, Angels and Sluts swimming for dear life when an Orca swims by!!! MOH and Evil Cousin have cat fight, the Bride cries and where oh where has the mother gone and what will become of Ian; drunk, stuffed with hor d'oeuvres as possible whale bait.

I could just go on and on.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

I can't stop laughing...

I've been watching clips from a UK show called Balls Of Steel. I have to catch the clips on YouTube because it airs on a Friday while I'm at work. It's a show where people go out and tape themselves winding up others. They do it for points. It's a dangerous game show because there's a major risk of getting your ass kicked.

So far, I like Neg best. He's a scary guy; the kind I definitely don't want my girls bring home and say "We're having a baby!" but from afar - like through the TV, he's a bit of ballsy allright. His bit is called "Urban Sports". Let's pray the bored teenagers don't start copycatting these antics. Here's a few clips to share- let them load up, they are brilliant.

Urban Sprinting
Knock Don't Run
Urban Skittles (Lucky for him guns are illegal in the UK - this wouldn't carry in the USA.)


Then there's the "Annoying Devil" who is, part vile and disgusting, part truly annoying. The interesting part of the game is that if any of them get beaten up, they lose. I would like to see him get decked.

Signs (audio dodgy at first but gets better)
Random awful. (never ride rollercoasters with the devil)

I've happily ignored my family to indulge in these clips.

Friday, March 16, 2007

Trouble in Condolife...

We live in what could be described as a condominium. With emphasis on the "mini". It's a two bedroom duplex with a garage and large garden. We love it and bought it for it's location with an eye of expanding; converting the garage into another two rooms and putting a conservatory out the back. We've not expanded yet, well, we have, but only in family members. The real problem with cozy living is we only have one bathroom, and four bladders.

(7:05am. Everyone's been up for 15 minutes. Shorty is bouncing everywhere, Sassy and Husband are ignoring daylight and staying in bed. I get the bathroom first. After me, Husband goes in.)

I'm making Husband's lunch...

Sassy: I need the toilet

Me: Well you'll have to wait, Daddy's in there. Why didn't you go when you woke up?

Sassy: I don' know!

Me: Well you know Daddy will be mad if you interrupt him. So you can either use the potty (she makes a face) orrrrrr... you could go outside and pee in the garden under the tree.

Sassy: OK!

Me: Wha... sure. ok. (thinking she'd freak at such a suggestion.)

But no, out she goes into the garden and she comes back a few minutes later glowing in happiness.

Sassy: I didn't even get my feet wet!!

Well that was a joke that totally backfired. Have I just created a "naturist"? She says she'll do that from now on if she needs to go and the bathroom is occupied. I'm kind of praying for rain when it happens.

My Dad would've been proud.

Monday, March 12, 2007

Doug's MeMe Spam Post.

Doug did a MeMe in his blog and suggested we do too, rather then forward on a meme in spamlike ways via email. A very honourable suggestion, and in the spirit of the thing (despite knowing that meme's get no attention anymore and no-one cares so why bother? I dunno, because Doug said so and I adore Doug.) I'll put up. So here's the thing, The Meme.

1. What time did you get up this morning? The urine soaked child alarm clock bounced on my face at 6:26am this morning.
2. Diamonds or Pearls? I'll go with diamonds purely for the appreciation value, but I don't really care either way.
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Uhm... ehhhhhh.... It was either Curse of The Were-rabbit or Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I'm not sure.
4. What is your favorite TV show? I dunno. I'll always stop and watch Scrubs. But then I'll always stop and watch Project Catwalk too, but I wouldn't say either was my favourite. I'm ambivalent.
5. What did you have for breakfast? Mini-wheats with apricots.
6. What is your middle name? I never got one, My Mom thought they were unnecessary. I use my maiden name, Weaver, as my middle name. For many years (as a pre-teen) though I regretted not having a middle name so I gave myself one; Ave. I liked it, it was like Eve, but with an "A".
7. What is your favorite cuisine? It's a toss up between Japanese or Mexican.
8. What foods do you dislike? Anything from the cabbage family. I'm not a cabbage person. Keep those brussels sprouts away from me. OH and liver, it smells gross, it tastes gross, it is gross.
9. Your favorite Potato chip? Doritos, although technically a corn chip; they make your pee smell like nacho cheese. Actually, that's a benefit.
10. What cd have you been listening to lately? Just listened to Mambo Sinuendo by Ry Cooder. It's one of our lazy day favourites. Click the bottom samples to hear what it's about and then go buy it, it'll be your hazy summer favourtite too.
11. What kind of car do you drive? I don't drive. But we have a 96' Saab 9000 that we love and adore. It's about to roll over 100,000 miles and we're very proud of it.
12. Favorite sandwich? BLT with lots of mayo and fresh pepper. Yum, gimme two!
13. What characteristics do you despise? Intolerance, prejudice and over-the-top piety.
14. What are your favorite clothes? The ones that are now too big.
15. If you would go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go?
Japan. Have to, want to, must! It fascinates me like no other place in the world.
16. Favorite brand of clothing? I'm not a brand whore. But I like Gap clothes for fashion and quality. In the sales of course.
17. Where would you want to retire? The world is at my feet so the road may be home.
18. Favorite time of day? The wide awake hour before everyone else gets up when I have peace and the freshest cup of coffee.
19. Where were you born? Massachusetts.
20. What is your favorite sport to watch? Formula one racing. I also like Rugby and a good night of boxing. I love to watch boxing; or any kind of one-to-one combat be it kick boxing, judo, sumo wrestling or fencing. Can you tell I love the Olymipcs?
21. Who do you think will not send this back? I doubt anyone will. That means Chunks probably will do it. Gotta love Chunks, I know I do.
22. Person you expect to send it back first? *shrug* I'm not laying a wager.
23. Pepsi or Coke? Coke coke OH Dear God: Coke! I'd bathe in it. I love it. I never have it, but I twitch for it. I love Coke.
24. Beavers or Ducks? I'm going with beavers because I've told you folks before, Ducks are evil.
25. Are you a morning person or night owl? I am the ultimate in annoyance as I am the morning person.
26. Pedicure or Manicure? I'll say pedicure as I can't bite my toenails.
27. Any new and exciting news you’d like to share? Oh oh! there was a fight in my gym last week between two women who wanted the same machine! It was really funny but kind of sad. And I mean a fight, lots of shouting, finger pointing - it was like WWF pre-match psych-ups.
28. What did you want to be when you were little? The first job I remember wanting to have was that of a TV news reporter. I used to write up news stories, and do the weather. I now know, as an adult, I was a kid competing with the 6 o'clock news for my parents' attention.
29. What is your best childhood memory? I was playing alone at the elementary school behind my house. I was sitting on the steps, tossing rocks and just enjoying the nice weather, clean breeze and freedom. All of a sudden a very dark cloud creeped over and a wind picked up - I love the wind so I stood up and faced right into the gusts. There was a sheet of rain about a 500 yards away just coming right at me. I watched it come closer from across the field. Then I put out my arms and waited for it to hit me. It was wonderful. I walked home in the heavy downpour feeling as light as air.
30. Ever been toilet papering? I did once but then one of the girls felt guilty and made us go back and remove it all again.
31. Been in a car accident? Nope.
32. Favorite restaurant? Yumi in Edinburgh, Excellent Japanese restaurant. We also love Prestonfield House because it's gorgeous, the food is always good, the wine is even better and you never, ever feel you are being rushed to eat your meal. They also had (before the smoking ban) a wonderful smoking room where folks could go and smoke cigars. One of the dining rooms has bullet holes in the walls from a fight a couple hundred years ago.
33. Favorite flower? Lily of the Valley.
34. Favorite ice cream? I'm not an ice cream person, it's just too cold. But I like a bit of Cherry Garcia.
35. Favorite fast food restaurant? Burger King.
36. How many times did you fail your drivers test? In America I got it in one. In UK I failed once and haven't bothered to try again. Driving a stick is so annoying.
37. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Volkswagon.
38. Who are you most curious about their responses to this? I have no expectations.
39. Last person you went to dinner with? Uhm... Errrrr... I can't remember the last time I was out for dinner.
40. How many tattoos do you have? I have none, but I'm planning a Chinese Zodiac totem pole to include the four of us; so a rat, pig, rabbit and monkey.
41. How many people are you sending this to? "None. Or many. Depends on your point of view." Doug said it best.
42. What time did you finish this e-mail? I'm not done yet there's still three more questions and a wee bit of editing and link addage to do - this question belongs at the end. And even then I'm not sure I could provide an accurate answer to the question. I recommend it be struck from the list!!
43. Favorite magazine? Men's Health. It's brilliant and loaded with hot, buff guys. The articles are top and have none of that fluffy bullshit that women's mags have.
44. If you could meet any famous person, who would it be? Jerry Lewis. I love him. I've loved him since I was six. He's amazing.
45. If you could choose another first name, what would it be? Iona (those who know my real last name - think about it...)
46. If you could change your profession right now, what would you be doing? I want to be a Judge. I should've gone to law school but I never thought I was smart enough. I now know I am/was smart enough and now it's too late to go to law school.

I did this instead of a SBD because I haven't read so much as a newspaper in the past week. Life is busy. I'll be reading what Beth has to say later though. You should too. See Beth.(beware of lusciousness) See Doug and have a nice day. Sincerely.

Friday, March 09, 2007

Just curious again...

I know I did this already about six months ago, but I was curious if I've evolved to look like any new Hollywood Divas or Manly Men (as I prefer to choose both men and women matches for fun because we all know folks tend to fall in love with those who look like themselves so perhaps a Hollywood affair isn't too unimaginable. A girl can dream.) But for some reason I can't find the post so you'll have to trust me on it. Here's a new one.



I got no blokes this time! That has to be an improvement. Although, I look a bit sleepy in that picture. I am a bit sleepy now I think about it.

I'm going to make some banana ginger nut muffins because darn it, I can. Then eat them smothered in butter - real butter! You heard me, stuff from an actual cow, no more of that soy bean fake butter stuff. Real honest to God butter because life's too short to eat soy spread.

I'm also really happy to find out (Thanks Uncle Chuck!) I have a new Cousin! Well, He's a second cousin actually as it's my cousin's second child but I got this just wonderful picture, that I want to post but I won't because I don't have permission but it's just so sweet with big sister sleeping next to new baby brother - just a Hallmark moment you'll have to trust me. Precious Moments will want to make a plate of the image. My other cousin (they're brothers, my Aunt and Uncle are in New Grandchild Euphoria) is due to have twins (boy and a girl) any day now and I can't wait to hear news about them! I'll be out buying baby goodies this weekend to post away. It's always a fun change to buy blue, and cute girl things always make me broody. I am thanking our foresight in having snippage done as I would be seriously tempted to try for another one myself. I just love babies, especially if they aren't mine.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Gritting my teeth...

The Scots have a very annoying habit. They have to have the last word. No matter the conversation, if there's a last word to be said they have to say it. It's as if you win a prize for having the last word. The one who utters the last word is the ultimate champion. The problem is, they do this with friendly conversations too. I offer up an example...

I was at work the other weekend, when my I bring around a bin for my manager to put her cardboard in.

Me: Here's a cardboard cage for you.
Her: Oh that's nice of you, I was just going to get one. Thank you
Me: Your Welcome.
Her: ahahaa Yes, Thank you.
Me: Anytime, your welcome. (At this point I'm thinking, can I go now, would it be rude to just walk away?)
Her: This makes things much easier, thank you.

At this point I realized, she was a Last Worder and I smiled and walked away. I mean, even I know that in polite conversation the person who gets to say "Your Welcome" is entitled to the last word. It's just plain rude to continue on after that in a vain attempt to reclaim the last word! I have been wondering what Ms. Manners would say about this. I'm sure I did the right thing to just let the other woman have the last word, but really it vexed me to do it.

Today I had this conversation as I was trying to leave the gym with Shorty.

Other Mom: Shorty is such a happy girl, Chloe loves to play with her.

Me: Well she certainly loves the creche. She was hoping Chloe would be in today. She's in most days so I'm sure they'll get to play together more. I'm off now, have a nice afternoon.

OM: That'd be wonderful. Chloe likes to play with Shorty. Ok Bye-bye now.

Me: Bye.

OM: Bye-bye

See...she had to sneak in the last Bye, just couldn't help herself. I'm sure she was pulling out her tally sheet and marking her strikes for that victory. This kind of thing happens all the time - the repeated goodbye. I didn't even ask for the last goodbye, I'm merely echoing the good manners. Did she forget that she's already said goodbye first? How many of us have had this sort of conversation:

Bye now.
Goodbye.
Have a good one.
I will, you too.
Sure thing, bye.
Bye.
See next week?
Yeah, certainly!
Ok, bye, see you later.
Yup, bye.

And I mean soon someone has to quit or it'll look way too obvious that they are both Last Worders in the middle of a tense battle for supremacy. It drives me crazy.

In conversation, I've learned to let the Last Worders have the last word. If it's so important to them, who am I to deny them it? I figure so long as I have fulfilled my manners obligation in the conversation then I can't be considered rude. I will, however be considered a spoil sport for not competing in the Last Word Olympics.

Then again, on my blog, I always get the last word.

Monday, March 05, 2007

So tell me if I'm wrong...

Yesterday was a weird day. We went to MIL's house where I only cleaned the dishes and stovetop because everything looked rather good. Gave Jimbo his £4 for chores and told him bannisters are the bit that support the rail, those needed cleaned not just the rail to which he said "OOooooooh." The rest of the time I made coffee, played pokemon dungeon (the blue one) on the DS and watched lame Sunday TV (it was a Time Team kind of day).

After that we drove to the grocery store where honestly I said I only needed toothpaste but once I got there I thought, Hubs wanted danish - almost willing to drive all the way to Costco for some, so I'll get him a couple to hold him over. Then I got some fruit, some snacks for lunch boxes (which I forgot in the big shop on Saturday) and I got some pull-up daipers because I bought the wrong size yesterday, and LOOK they had a big sale on clothes and I need trousers so a quick skim....Husband phones me "We're done. Are you almost done?" I said I was looking at trousers but wouldn't be long. "I'll come in." and then honestly, I was done in about 10 minutes, bought the stuff, poor Hubs had to carry a sleeping Shorty and then we were gone.

I notice Hubs is somewhat agitated, but he says nothing. He drives a bit more aggressively, proclaiming how many idiots there are on the road today. He even gets honked at, granted by a jerk who was doing 60 in the high speed lane and wouldn't pull over to let us pass so Hubs passed on the inside lane instead. I sense...he's agitated. Yup. Definitely. Agitated. Is it me or something else...I don't know.

When we...

You know, I already typed this post out when firefox crashed on me. I'm in no mood to type it out again so I'll summarize:

Husband went all touchy and stormed out of the house after I presented a peace offering of a danish. He walked in the rain for 45 minutes, then came home and had a nap. I think the nap would've been best first.

MIL had all of her filing out on the table, there was a big folder labeled "Mortgage" which contained insurance information that'll allow her to take a payment break for up to a year. It was there in the house all the time. Did she make the phone call? No. We're currently taking bets on how long it takes her to phone to make the insurance claim.

No SBD today as I've not had time to read. Go see Beth and see who else may have something interesting. (And although Beth wants you to admire her knife block, I have to say Look at the Monkeys!!!)

so there.