I was supposed to review this last week but I was distracted by other things. I'm sure you know how that gets sometimes. If you don't then: Get a life! And preferably a busier one so you will understand. Anyways...The Stupidest Angel by Christopher Moore.
This was bought for me at Christmas time by my brother who is a big fan of Christopher Moore. He sent me two books actually, and I never got around to reading either until now. I'm kind of like that. He's asked me many times "Have you read those books yet?" uhm...no *blush* sorry. It's because I'm a sucker for the New Shiny Book! And if a newer shinier book crosses my path I must have it. This happens a lot at the library, and with book reviews I read online. I just buy and then read and toss aside looking for a new shiny.
I did start this book when I got it back in December. I got to the middle of chapter two, as told by my bookmark, and then forgot about it. I remember why I put it down now: The writer has a thing for smilies. They were obnoxiously placed in every paragraph it seemed in the early part of the story. Examples, page three on describing a Charity Santa's ringing bells "..they rang their bells like they were going for dog-spit gold at the Pavlov Olympics." next paragraph as someone walks by the Santa who previously promised to donate on exit " ...he blew by her kettle like she was using it to render tallow from the building inspectors' butts and he needed to escape the stench."oh and my personal favourite on page 55 "Lena jumped back and screamed like a bunny in a blender." ...how would you know...I don't want to know.
Now I don't mind the odd one here or there, but in the beginning it was becoming a distraction and I was begging the writer to just tell me how something really was and not how something was like something else totally ridiculous, because it's killing the flow! Thankfully, that stuff petered out by chapter four and I could get into the story.
It's about small town California at Christmas and this town, full of amazingly weird and very well created characters, goes insane and are put through hell. First off, a rat bastard gets killed in the woods accidentally by his ex-wife while he's dressed as Santa and a wee boy sees thinks: Santa's dead! Christmas is hosed! (Hosed being his words, not mine.) The ex-wife kind of freaks, but as luck would have it, a rather laid back, kind-of out there ultra-calm...remember the model, Hansel, Owen Wilson plays in Zoolander? Well he shows up at just the right time to calm Lena down, let her see the funny side of this situation and, while helping her bury the body, asks her out on a date. Tuck totally reminds me of Hansel, only he has a pet fruit bat, that wears little pink ray-ban sunglasses. I'm sure Hansel would find that totally surreal and awesome.
The town constable is married to a former actress who was a Xena type character and is a bit crazy, but she goes off her anti-psychotic meds to save money to buy hubby a nice X-mas present. The conversations she has with her "voices" are wonderful. Actually, I found her adventures the most interesting of the whole book.
There's also a big, very beautifully handsome man wandering the town, looking a bit Goth asking where the nearest child is. He soon becomes public enemy number one as everyone thinks he's some sicko pedophile. But he's not, odd things happen with this guy, like he can't be killed, even when run over by a car. Twice.
The story is very fast paced and easy to read. I did have a few laugh out loud moments until I got to: The Zombies. I'm sure my brother knows I have nightmares from anything zombie, why would he send me a book with zombies in it?? Brain eating zombies at that?! Brain eating zombies - at Christmas! Does he not know about the years of self induced insomnia during my college years after watching Night of the Living Dead and it's subsequent nightmares?? I can't even watch the Thriller video these days! But really! A Christmas story with murder, fruit bats, pot smoking cops and brain eating zombies?! So, of course I read on...
I admit I liked this book. Really. Zombies aside, for at least they are funny zombies. The rest is just wild. (As if that's not wild enough) The Author's note at the start of the book, is quite promising: "If you're buying this book for your grandma or a kid, you should be aware that it contains cusswords as well as tasteful depictions of cannibalism and people in their forties having sex. Don't blame me. I told you." And he didn't lie either.
That's all I'm going to say on it. It's just so involved and has many interesting subplots "By the purple horn of Nigoth, I command you to boil!" screeched the Warrior Babe. What good was a higher power, after all, if he wouldn't help you cook your ramen noodles?" Seriously, Molly is my favourite. I do recommend, if you want a bit of fun and crazy from a very well paced, plotted story with brilliantly created characters, get this one. It's a super quick read, took me a day, couldn't put it down. That had some to do with the good story, and also to do with a child who thinks it's funny to pull out my bookmarks while I'm away.
So, as soon as I'm done with my Josie Dew: A Gaijin in Japan; a travel book from her bicycle tour of Japan which I'm enjoying Very Much, I'll read the other book my brother gave me, Fluke
Bruise update: colours are coming in, swelling is down, still hurts. I'll have a great time in work tonight not being able to kneel, and I may not be able to pull a heavy cage as the muscles in my calf are really sore, they feel like they're about to spring into cramp at any second. Sassy has an appointment this afternoon to get her tooth fixed, fingers crossed it'll go easy-peasy.