I'm in a funk. I don't know why, as nothing bad has happened. I'm just not happy at this minute. I'm sure it will change, maybe better, maybe worse.
I'm at the mercy of the voice inside, and today it tells me, with quite certainty: I am not good enough. I have a shower but it doesn't matter because :I am not good enough. I make meals for the kids, but doesn't matter because: I am not good enough. I do my hair, put some make-up on but why bother because:I am not good enough.
Can I talk to people today? Not really because I don't know what to say. Everything comes out wrong and I just know they're all thinking: I'm not good enough. Or worse, that I'm not worth talking to because I'm not my normal jolly self. Not really in a mood to bury it and carry on regardless.
It'll pass. Run its course. Hopefully I'll not have lost any respect, or friends or hair. money. patience...
I took the girls out last night to the beach, after dinner. It was really low tide. When we got to the shoreline, we couldn't stand still for long or our shoes would sink in the mud. There were hundreds of rock pools to investigate, and Shorty fell over and was covered in mud. Then the battery died on my camera (Well, it told me it was "exhausted" which just sums what I hear all time every day from around me) so I only got a few pictures. It was still beautiful, a little warm, sweet breeze that took the low tide smell away. We collected rocks, searched for an elusive fossil and just never wanted to go back home.