Monday, May 14, 2007

Smart Bitches Day!

Hooray - there's something good about Mondays! Spending time some wonderful Smart Bitches is just what every Monday needs, I dare say.

Now, if my kids will be quiet and behave long enough for me type this out then we'll be in business but I'm not making promises as Shorty has already eaten the erasers off three pencils today and Sassy has forgotten to do her homework - again - and will have to finish it before getting any movies. This means Shorty will be a demon until she gets her shows - and it's all just so frustrating and annoying and dear lord above give me strength.

Futurelove by Summer Devon aka Kate Rothwell an e-book publication via Ellora's Cave

Future love is about Collins, a G-man from the future where life is dull business and everyone takes drugs to suppress their normal hormonal developments. Evidently everyone is completely hairless and fairly androgynous. He's part of a time traveling police force and he's sent back to 2006 to prevent an assault. To do this he has to blend is so he stops taking his suppression drugs and starts to turn into a man that we here in 2006 simply adore! He's our typical Perfect Man in muscleboundedness, handsomeness and he has quick reactions and morality. Bless him. He's turning wild.

As the story is only 105 e-pages it doesn't have much but the basic on a back story. Something happens regarding anti-time-travel rebels (called Anti-Timeys which I thought was comical - for a rebel group they didn't choose a very rebellious name for themselves) and Collins is shoved into his time travel immediately, without changing his clothes, getting his chemical assistance or anything useful; just zapped away.

He lands almost on top of our Heroine, Candy. She's sitting on a park bench pondering ponderable thoughts when Collins crashes onto her bench. He's dizzy, woozy injured and looks weird in his black jumpsuit. But because he's so darned handsome she takes him to her place to fix him up.I'm sure as a child she brought home birds with broken wings and baby hedgehogs and squirrels.

She tries to talk to him but he's busy being very secret squirrel and he keeps staring at her mammaries - they're completely new to him. So are womanly figures with narrow waists and rounded bottoms. It starts to dawn on us the reader, as well as Candy that this guy doesn't really have a whole of experience with girls. Possibly (but he's so gorgeous it cannot be possible) a virgin?! Squeee (that's girl talk for happy happy oh dear lord about so happy) in delight he's sleeping over and he's going to play with her. Candy decided to become a FemDom - of polite sorts. Although she does use rather naughty words at his insistence. Perhaps not the innocent girl as I'd previously thought.

They have some "quality time" together, he's trying to look at it as scientific research and getting to know historical mating rituals, but he learns awful quick that this science stuff is kind of fun and feels good too! She's getting a bit emotionally attached already and can't quite understand why.Collins has to focus on his mission, and stop letting his annoying member do all his thinking for him - but darn it it's hard!! Poor man, a full grown adult with an adolescent's new surging of hormones.

He gets his mission done, and starts to get back to where he's supposed to be to get zapped back home, but something's wrong - he's not going home. It's not working And then some psycho Anti-Timey trie to kill him with a destabilizer - the bitch!! Well she's not going to get away with that, but if there's one assassin, there may be more. He decides he better get undercover and hide away. Who best to do that with than Candy!

She needs him to help her out anyways because she has an annoying mother who's hellbent on getting grandchildren no matter who the man in who helps her daughter along. So he agrees to go and make an appearance as the new boyfriend to chill mom's baby urges. I'd think if anything seeing an uberhot man with her adult daughter would spur on the baby making nagging because every grandmother wants gorgeous grandkids. Candy should've found a dull looking man instead, but that's just my opinion.

Problem is, he likes Candy, but has to get back to the future and find out what's happened at Time Travel Quantico, Candy likes Collins (Candy Collins - how would we mix that drink? One finger gin, two of cranberry juice, a splash of SoCo and lime juice with a frozen cherry on the bottom?) but doesn't want to ask him to stay because geez - they only just met, and she was kind of easy and how freaking clingy-psycho-bitch would that be? But he can't stay, and she won't ask him to. It's all so sad really - poor folks.

So he decides: he's leaving. Thanks Candy, I'll never forget you but goodbye - one more for the road? Great. Then he goes and acts like Grizzly Adams, living in the woods, trying the transport point routine every morning with no luck - will he ever go home? Weeks pass and he's smelly, hairy and quite the, erm, man. But wait - look, there's a snooty looking mime prancing about in the park - No, it's another agent! He says some rather rude stuff to Collins, doesn't really go into any details about the Time Travellers or the Anti-Timeys or much at all about all the whoo-ha that sent him back abruptly and had an assassin on his back. But from his rude vagueness Collins makes the conclusion that he doesn't have to go back - Hooray he'll stay with Candy!

So Grizzly Adams shows up on Candy's doorstep, they have a tense conversation, a wonderful surprise and it ends with the beloved HEA!

I liked it - I did, it was fun and only took a couple hours to read. The characters worked well together, were believable and I never doubted their attractions or felt they were forced in their courtship. I did think Anti-Timey was a silly name, and I thought Collins said "Gah!" a bit too much, after the tenth Gah I was saying Gah out loud myself. A Gah Gah Gah that's all I want to say to you! I was left wanting more. This story could have been spun out for another 200-300 pages. All the stuff with the future, the academy the rebellion needed to be told more. The meeting with the mom was way too brief and I would have liked to see her character and her interaction with her daughter played out more. More on how Collins has to combat his newly acquired wood and animalistic urges versus his training - there's a lot going on there and I'd like to see more. I was disappointed it ended too soon. Other than that, not a bad way to spend the afternoon!

Now, I must beat my kids.

5 comments:

NWJR said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
NWJR said...

I once told someone that I regularly beat my kids. They were horrified until they realized I was talking about playing "Battleship".

They still thought I should lose on purpose.

reposted to correct misleading grammar error

Kris said...

"Anti-timeys"? That's hilarious! Every time my eyes went over that word, I was sniggering. Hee, hee.

Must have been a slow creativity day when that term was born.

Kate R said...

Candy decided to become a FemDom - of polite sorts. Although she does use rather naughty words at his insistence. Perhaps not the innocent girl as I'd previously thought.

Snorting.

Hey look! You're in the other contest too, now. But you're supposed to tell me these things . . .I only stopped by to bug you.

Lyvvie said...

You're not buggin' I love your visits! And that doesn't count as brown nosing either!!!

You're right, I forgot he asked her "What's this called *poke*,and use your common twentyfirst century vulgarities!" then she cussed out a couple colourful examples before melting into a pool of goo on his manutabs.

Seriously - make it longer!!