Saturday, May 19, 2007

New Book Woes...

A new book is about to be released. A few very lucky reviewers have had the divine privileged of first reading in order to rave about the book to us, the eager (and unprivileged) populace. But what does the reporter do? Ruin the fucking book with blatant spoilers! How can they do that? How can they sleep at night? How can keep their job when ruining the very book they've been entrusted to review? It's one thing to hate a book and report the reasons's why, but to ruin the entire plot of the book is just mean.

Some hate a story, others have it in their keeper pile for decades. But not even give a reader a chance to figure out for themselves by spilling spoilers is an offence worthy of having one's eyes plucked out. Ok, maybe a bit extreme - how about we bash their fingers with a wooden meat tenderizer a few times.

I'm refering in part to the yet unreleased Robert Kaplow's Who's Killing the Writer's of America

Now, my annoyance isn't really the reviewers' fault - link is a SPOILER!! Warning!!. OK in all honesty it wasn't even a book review I read, it was a snippet of an article about how someone famous - a comedian who feature's strongly no less, I mean isn't all publicity good publicity? - in the book, who ends up being the murderer (spoiler MF), hates being portrayed in this manner.Aw pooh! He has such strong feelings about this that he even tried to block publication of the book, but failed. The book is still due for release.

But of course, now as I write this, this very uptight, head-up-his-butt "Comedian" (who really hasn't been too funny since This movie which is a SPOILER but at least I warn you so click if you want to be spoiled and of course he'd want to spoil the mystery of the book - if he couldn't block it then by hell he'll ruin it by spoil spoil spoiling it for everyone and how. He'll be doing drive-bys of book store's shouting "I did it! It was Meeeee!!" He'll be crazy walkin' through queues at book signings causing comedic mayhem, knocking books out of customers' hands and tipping the stacks over, drawing attention away from Kaplow.

It all promises to be very interesting. I'll pre-order just because I think Mr. Spoilsport has become too dour in his old age and needs to lighten up. I mean if Andy Mickey Rooney can tolerate This then seriously mate - get over yourself.

4 comments:

Maja said...

Aw, how annoying....

Hey have you read Vanity Fair by William Thackeray? I saw the movie (with Reese Witherspoon) the other day which I loved and I must read the book now.

Lyvvie said...

I read it in school and found it all right except I couldn't get into it too much - their lives were so far removed from mine I couldn't relate at all. But, I may give it a try again now I'm not a self-centered, in love with myself, teenager. (I am still a self centered in love with myself adult but now with added perspective for flavour.)

Rebecca was kind of a bitch, I liked how she made her way through men but hated her for being mean to her son.

Michael said...

Couldn't agree more. Anyone wants to write a book with me in it..I'll be there giving them all the back story they need.

Anyone...?

SafeTinspector said...

I've been spoiled! Or curdled. I'll ask my wife which one she thinks it is.