MY daughter just told me two things I wasn't really prepared to hear.
"Mummy, I have a secret. I have a crush on a boy at school. It's big Kyle. But he doesn't like me. He's nine."
I handled it well, explaining that nine year olds aren't really interested in girls yet and she'll have to wait until he's about thirteen before he notices her in the same way. She sighed heavily. but was ok with it. The whole time my head was reeling with thoughts of: She's in love with an Older Man?! What's this Kyle look like - does she have good taste in men? He better be nice - I'm not suffering any bad boy fascinations in my teenager. Does this mean I can stop saving for the sexual reassignment surgery - I mean she's been telling me she wants be a boy since she was three, I was preparing for it... I don't want to deal with a seven year old's broken heart - I'm not ready!!!
Then as she was leaving for school, she smiled at me and said "I'd like it if you were preg-a-net again. You should get preg-a-net." Then she skipped away to the bus stop before I could hurl my shoe at her. I sense my Dad has been whispering into her ears.
Just to make this clear to all - even Dad, though he's been gone for five years now - I'm not having any more preg-a-nancies. No more babies. I've had my clutch and I'm done. This uterus is now closed.