Wednesday, April 04, 2007
From Thurs 29th March,
Last night while on my way to work I stopped into my GPs office and made an appt to get a referral to a nutritionist. I had the appt this morning (never had one so fast!) and got a referral to a dietitian. I just feel the eating is so bad for me, I can't find balance, control, comfort or peace and I need the support and guidance of a professional. I want to know how many calories I should have, when I should have them, should they be mostly carb or protein, what balances? should I have a portion cup - |I keep thinking if I have a cup that I can fill with whatever and that's how much I can have of anything. One cup of rice, one cup of cereal, one cup of beans etc. But how much should the portion be in the portion cup?
I'll find out next week when the appt is. Until then I'm treading water.
From Monday 2nd of April, Noon
I'm up this morning feeling tired. I've had a bowl of soup for breakfast, and as I've made so much soup, I think it's going to be the only thing I eat today - but that's ok because it's really nice! I'm going to get my gym kit on and go do my leg workout today. I'm not looking forward to cardio - I'm so tired. I hope that'll change once I get moving. My shoulders are sore today - that's part new yoga routine (Uhm, bird pose? Insane!)and last night's lifting. I need lots of water - I feel dehydrated. Can you believe this - I'm so tired, I was even dreaming about sleeping in a room of solitude. It was a gorgeous one room flat in the middle of Boston, near the airport, and it had these huge plate glass windows, but sound proof. A comfy bed, solitude...what does that say about my basic needs?
Kids are driving me crazy. I may have to make them walk them into exhaustion.
From Tuesday 3rd April, morning.
Dinner - I made spiced veggie soup with rice (carrot, cauliflower, roasted red pepper, butter beans and lentils) but didn't have time to eat it because I was doing an overtime shift at work and had to leave. When I got to work, they had already turned off the tills so I couldn't buy any healthy options for dinner - and I was hungry. I bought an Alpen cereal bar out of the machine and a small coke. On breaktime I made a slice of seeded bread (the heels were left in the kitchen) and had that with spread and jam. Work was a real sweaty challenge as I was stocking the juice isle, which is a lot of heavy lifting of juice and soda cases - I'm the only woman who volunteers to do this task because I like the extra workout. When I got home I had a bowl of soup and a cold sausage. I went to bed at 11:30.
Tuesday 3rd April, afternoon
I was completely exhausted and did not go to the gym. I sat in the lobby, reading a book, and fell asleep! Yes, there I was, amid hustle and bustle of a busy sports center, asleep with a book in my lap. Probably drooling, I don't know. The nursery staff had to come and wake me up to collect the kids. So I think missing the gym this morning was the right decision.
You know, when I was about 19 and restricting a lot, but I got a food craving, it was no big deal for me to just drive to my boyfriend's house, pick him up, go get some extra large coffees at Dunkin Donuts, drive to a secluded spot, talk about everything and nothing, make-out back seat, pee in the woods, drink cold coffee, smoke, laugh and watch the stars. Food and cravings and all of that insanity was forgotten. Biggest worry was falling asleep at the wheel as I drove home at wee small hours.
Now a days: I got nothing.
Drawbacks of being a grown up in a nuclear family.
Wednesday 4th April,
Today is my childhood friend Michelle's birthday. She turns 35. I've not talked to her for 6 years because I couldn't keep up with all of her AOL account changes - or more, she couldn't keep e-mailing to remind me. I hope she's having a great day. It's glorious and beautiful and warm out today. The kids are splashing in the paddling pool and eating ice lollies. On this day last year it was snowing. Strange old world we live in.
I have a sore shoulder on the left, and a sore hip on the right and no clue how it happened. But evidently I'm not as bendy as I thought I was. Mountains of laundry to sort, fold and put away. I want to write but the distraction of 24hour kids is too much. Sassyface is a walking tempest of surliness. I dare not venture near. She's not happy about school vacation and refuses to wear play clothes; she dresses every morning in school uniform. What a protest. The wee one now demands to put on the naughty step when she's being naughty - only problem is it's when I'd rather she went to bed. I agree by having a tantrum at bed time she is naughty; but she's not getting out of that bed to sit on the naughty step downstairs. Clever, isn't she? She also demands to sit on the naughty step so she won't have to leave the nursery. She'll throw a toy, say she's naughty and plonk herself on the naughty step. We now say "Naughty children have to leave Nursery, so let's go."
Currently cooking a monster sized roast beef. Never done one this big before (2.75 kilo), and I have a history of over cooking them and ending up with tire rubber. I'm poking it every 15-20 minutes to make sure it's not too rare, but not a football either.
I got a wonderful package from JMC yesterday!! After talking about our favourite old time candies on Doug's site, I mentioned I loved zagnut bars - and JMC sent me a couple!! Along with a box of hot tamales and a bar of soap...I don't know what she's trying to tell me with the soap but it smells nice so I'm happy!
As a thank you, I'm sending back a selection of Scottish treats, I just need to get a posting box to send them in. Although JMC said she was sending me the zagnuts to stop herself from eating them, I guess me sending her back a box of mixed sweets and cookies (and one can of Irn Bru) is perfectly acceptable.
I'm always around, but for some reason, I keep thinking I have nothing to post about. I should stop being so lame and just post the mundane.
Today I got a survey through the post. Now, usually I just throw these things away, because who has the time? But I'm tempted by this one. See it's from Thorntons and if I fill in the survey and leave it on the doorstep for tomorrow morning, I'll get a free bag of chocolate. Look - They even gave me a bag for them to put the chocolate in! I know it's only 125g of sweets, but c'mon - free chocolates!
The roast came out perfect!! I am awesome beef chef!