Friday, January 19, 2007

Some Exhausted Evening...

I have been having really vivid, involved and long dreams as of late. My dreamlife is very interesting and I really look forward to sleeping because I just don't know what's going to happen. This is a side effect of the anti-anxiety medication I'm taking. I want to state categorically that I am not depressed, but I am a high energy, preemptive worrier and morose planner. Having kids has magnified this, and constant worry over their health, safety and care drive me to be a big ball of stress. I'm taking citalopram to control the anxiety while I work with a counselor to learn how to manage the weird crap that comes into my head.

I'm having very weird dreams and I figure, since I'm having fun with them I should share them up. Go ahead and be my Freud if you want to, analyze away because I don't see anything in it. I always find I'm watching myself in these dreams. I sometimes see the action through my own eyes, but mostly I'm detached, like I'm watching a movie.

So the other day I dreamed it was snowing, really hard. There was an accumulation of about two feet (that's a lot for here) and the snow plows weren't getting down my street. The problem wasn't the snow, but that someone had gone into everyone's gardens and pulled all their stuff out into the front street so it was covered in dumped garbage cans, barbecues and lawn furniture, picnic tables, bricks, paving stones and children's toys. Just piled up everywhere. It was dark and the orange streetlight on the snow cast everything a peachy glow, and the falling snow was settling on everything. It was eerie quiet and yet everyone was out looking around thinking where to start to sort this out. Then from above came a sofa, chair other furniture just raining down on top of us. The contents of our houses were being lobbed at us from the roofs. We couldn't see who it was but no one wanted to run into their homes to stop them. We were scrambling about trying to take cover and rescue our things. The snowplow decided he'd had enough of this and began plowing down the road, demolishing all of our things. It remained very quiet the whole time, like a silent movie. All I could hear was that calming sound of snow falling on a still night.

Last night I dreampt about, well I'm not sure where it began. I was with a couple of generic dream friends, but in the dream we were all very close - they were a couple. We were out in the glorious warm sunshine and planning on a picnic and then going to an international football game. The guy friend (who has no name so we'll call him Guy) was good friends with a famous Italian footballer, who also has no name so he'll be Tony. Anyways I meet Tony and he's very nice, and oddly attentive. I'm no stunner and I'm not a football fan, so I have no clue why he's bothering, but he comes across as all sweet and boy next door. He says I must sit in good seats, we are all invited to the private box and he puts his arm around me and escorts us up to the best seats on this enormous open stadium (reminded me of the Quidditch world cup one in Goblet of Fire).

The game isn't going to start for ages and I decide I'm going to be mean to Tony. It's that mean thing girls do to see if a guy is having a laugh at her expense or is he really interested - but it usually ends in him not being interested and leaving her feeling dumb and vindicated at the same time. So we play cards, and I win. He says that as the winner I can have anything I want. I say I want his hair, as he has shoulder length gorgeous dark brown hair. He smiles and hands me some scissors and I just hack away at his hair, leaving the front bits and taking all of the back off. I tie the locks together and wave them about like a duster, taunting him.

All of a sudden the stadium lifts off the ground and lurches forward - giving me the odd feeling of being on a run away open parade float. Tony grabs me before I fall backwards down the flights of stairs and sits me next to him. I feel so awful for being mean to him and I apologise. He laughs and says it's just hair. The stadium is flying about, apparently to land where the match is to take place - in Tony's home town in Italy. When we stop he gets up and looks around (The whole time my friends are there chatting, hugging and just being support characters but not really being important.)

People start coming into the stadium and then a group enter the box and I'm introduced to Tony's brother (who looks like a musclebound thug) and his wife who is a minute fashionista who coos and cowers sweetly but looks bored with her on stage performance and wants to get to her blackberry asap. The brother puts a hand out to shake mine but then reaches up and squeezes my breasts, impressed that they are not fake. I'm embarrassed and very uncomfortable, Tony apologizes for his brother and then says he must go to the game. I sit back down with my friends and we watch the match - poor tony with his hacked up hair, but he plays great and looks very happy. He waves up at me and I feel kind of happy. Then the alarm goes off.

Anyways, I've spent the past hour trying to find someone on google images who looks like Yony but I've been far too distracted so I'll just post this now and get back to, uhm, work. Shhhhhhh.


Steven Novak said...

"All of a sudden the stadium lifts off the ground and lurches forward - giving me the odd feeling of being on a run away open parade float."

If I had a nickel.... ;)


Maja said...

What a dream!

Chunks said...

Try this:

Maybe you can find out what's what!