Friday, April 28, 2006
Enjoy some links. I've stolen them from other folks' sidebars. I forget whose though...
I prefer Evian.
That's all the fun I have to offer...until I rip the weeds out of the garden, but that fun is mine, all mine.
Thursday, April 27, 2006
But, a miracle of miracles has occurred recently. There has been a marital coupling - Twice this week! And, the week's not even over yet so who knows what may happen by Sunday morn, again.
For HNT I thought I could share my seduction technique that has proven so effective this week. Since there was much nekkidness in the making-of-the-sex, and when people read they make pictures in their heads, this will count, right? Aw it will.
On Wednesday, I was feeling a bit ill. Just a wee bit, a small fever, a bit listless but that's it. I had "urges" (please - if you know the Frantics, say it like you know it), but figured "sick folks shouldn't shag." and I thought about it, and thought about it. Definitely too ill for raucous rounders, but thought I could give a try to lazy loving. So I offered this option up to my Husband:
"I'm going up for a shower. After that, I'll let you have your way with me; but I'm ill, so don't expect me to reciprocate." I say this as matter-of-fact as I can, as if I was saying ' oh and the gas man came by today...'
Husband says "ok."
I go and have my shower. When I get out, Husband is on the bed getting his pajamas on. (Is this is him dressing for sex? My heart sank a little) "Oh, are you going to bed now?" I ask. "No, you made me a promise, and I'm coming to collect." Thus concluding the verbal foreplay. Who knew the direct approach would work so well?
I hope you have a wonderful HNT and a super weekend!
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Good news is she's still a chipper nipper, wants to play, walk and run about. She's eating and drinking plenty and the Dr. Says we just have to wait for it to run its course. No immodium for toddlers. Sigh. I'm getting quite fed up with the midnight poops, and the constant smell of sick pooh. Oh - and now I'm sick. Yehaa.
My six day plan was scuppered by feeling like death yesterday. I couldn't eat a thing and everything smelled awful; it's like having morning sickness all over again - and no I'm not pregnant. For sure. I've skipped today too, just to recover, and because Shortie is still not ready to share company with other children - although I'm sure one of those kids got her sick in the first place. I am hopeful for tomorrow.
I was going to put up a review of "The Time Traveler's Wife" but Beth's is so good, and pretty much sums up my take on it - read hers instead. I'm going back to my bed.
Sunday, April 23, 2006
She's now got the squits. All of yesterday, and all last night I was changing minging nappies. She seems alright, no cramps or anything, and she wants to go out and play but being the big meanie that I am, I make her stay put and watch television instead. I was reading until midnight, knowing that the minute I turn out the light, Shortie would rouse and riot; which she did, on que. I kept the windows open to air out the upstairs from the smell - extra blankets all around. When I did sleep, I was having weird dreams about being at a water slide fun park but it was taken over by motorcycle gangs on route to Laconia NH. Motley Crue circa 1988 were there, but they were all watching the little kids, like creche nannies. Biker ladies in ubertight leather jeans getting stuck on the slide, finding out the hard way that leather is not a slippy-slide material. Everyone freaks over broken glass (which in RL is my big phobia) and pretty little girls in frilly dresses styled from the early 1900's squeal as black haired, tattooed biker dad's save their wee feet from glasscuts. It was bizarre. I can't find the underlying meaning - it was just dream soup.
Hubs should be home later today, he was out for a stag party in Glasgow last night. He'll be exhausted, hung over and I will hand over Ms. PukeBum and go out to the gym for some peace. If only I could rent a sleepsuite at the gym. I'm aiming to go for six days this week, so fingers crossed for me not to catch whatever Shortie has. I couldn't bear the setback. Especially after the very piggy breakfast I've just had: three rashers of bacon and four slices of black pudding(I know most folks gag at the thought, but trust me; they taste like Dunkin Donuts plain donuts - they're lovely.) nothing else, just 600 calories of porky goodness washed down with two cups of strong coffee.
Saturday, April 22, 2006
but it's a lot nicer and no one cries.
Shame it doesn't work on photos.
***it's kind of boring isn't it....*sigh*
Friday, April 21, 2006
Shortie: Whoo-whoooo Whoo-whoo
Pigeon on #47: Hooo hoo-hoo
pigeon on #42: Hooo hoo-hoo
Pigeon on #46: Wheeeze Wheeze-oo Wheezehoo
Should I call someone? will a SWAT team arive with a hundred pellet guns and take out the asthmatic bird? Well, let's be childish and assume he has asthma - the alternative makes me want to hunch down like Snoopy being the vulture and grumble. I'll just, uhm, keep quiet.
Songs I'm loving right now:
Crazy song (the video is pretty cool too)
The Yeah Yeah Yeah song - Flaming Lips I have a soft spot for a talking guitar ever since Eddie Van Halen made my heart beat faster as a pre-teen.
Thursday, April 20, 2006
I was able to get so heavy because I have a body that doesn't look *that* fat. I look chubby, I don't look morbidly obese and never have. People would tell me all the time "You're not fat, you look fine!" but they helped keep me in denial of the truth. I do have a lot of muscle because I like to weightlift, but it's become hidden under many muffins, buttered toast and sweets.
I have done nothing to cheat, no miracle cures or potion just pure and simple: diet and exercise. 1000-1500 calories per day and in the gym 4-5 days a week for about 1.5-2hours per day. That's mostly because I put my daughter in nursery at the same time and she loves it, so I don't feel too rushed in the gym. I'll do 60 minutes of cardio and 30 minutes of weights, if I have time left over before collecting Shortie I'll faff about on the stationary bike just to move, but not any real effort. Exercise is fun now, it's not a chore. I look forward to going.
Here's some of the results of my labours. When I started, these jeans were too tight to wear. They're a men's Gap bootcut 38 waist, but they always sit low, being men's jeans.
I now have a denim erection!! I remember having these before the kids came along and contributed to my belly growth. I used to get embarrassed by them, but now I'm very proud of my denim erection.
And, as promised, a boobie shot - pretend I'm your cute waitress, and leave a nice tip. (I can't stop holding my denim erection...it relaxes me.)
Have a super day!!
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
I was up early, getting Sassy ready for school - Hooray! Packing a lunch for the Husband to take to work - Hooray! and I went to have coffee with my pal - Hooray!! I have resumed normal function - Whew!
It was nice to talk to her after the two week break. She's got a renewed interest in going to the gym again. One Sunday over the break her husband was in the gym while I was. We didn't speak or anything - he's not a talker, more of a grunt and nod type but the most dedicated dad and father ever; a real nice guy...who grunts. He told her I'd been there. She said she saw me walking by her house up to the gym "All the time!" so I'm guessing she's got that voice in her head that's saying "If you'd gone with Lyvvie like you said you would, you'd be thinner too." evil voices they are (especially my smug interpretations). So she says she'll be going up tomorrow. We'll see. No stress, no pressure; it's entirely her decision.
I did get some nice gossip though. Are you interested in some small town gossip? Aw go on, indulge in this story...
About a year ago I bumped into one of the neighborhood busybodies at the shops. She's the sort who's always having candle parties, tupperware parties, and the like. Loves to have wine and giggling women in her den. We had a chat for a while talked about our kids – she's the type of mother who only has little angels and swaps them around schools when the teachers disagree, when another of my friends, Ellie happened by on her way to breakfast in the pub. Ellie is a very up front, 50-something lesbian who is great fun to be around. As soon as Party Girl(PG) was introduced and Ellie let slip (always in the first five minutes of a conversation) she was a lesbian, PG was curious. Please do say the word curious in that “wink wink, nudge nudge,” way with a sly smile.
PG said things like "I'd be interested in women, I'm tired of having my big sweaty husband on top of me. He's so clumsy, it's just gross." and was quite resentful towards him and a bit nasty. Well, I was gob-smacked, Ellie was uncomfortable but politely supportive; I think she really wanted her cigarette and coffee and an "intervention" was the last thing on her mind, and it was left at that – a short, awkward conversation on a spring morning and then we went our separate ways.
Now I haven't seen PG since that day, and I was thinking about her this morning. When I was in the cafe having coffee with my pal, the "Big sweaty husband" walked in with his four year old and had some breakfast. I mentioned to my friend, I'd been thinking of PG just that morning, but haven't seen her around for ages; just the husband and the kids. My pal smiled wickedly "You don't know?" (don't you love those words!?) I shook my head, "She left him about six months ago, left the kids too and moved in with some woman in Glasgow. She's turned." she tells me with a wink. I, of course, tell her about the weird conversation with Ellie last year. (just so ya know, Ellie is in a LT relationship, so it wasn't she who PG ran away with)
It was a good day for gossip, but what a sad story for the man and his kids. He's actually a very nice man, who's about 6 foot 6, and he's a soft spoken sort. I feel bad for the kids who've been abandoned by their mom - but this is life isn't it. This is the kind of shit that happens to people. the scenarios of fiction are never far from the truth, are they?
Anyways, I've been a bit binging so far today. I had a bowl of grape-nuts with raisins and then had a breakfast roll at the cafe. I'm in that nibbling mood. It's because I'm annoyed. We had to buy a new laundry line (whirly-jig) because our one was broken in a wind storm last week - although weakened by Sassy last year while playing Tarzan. I was going to use the same hole as the old one, but Sassy went and filled it in with stones, and after much digging through the muddy depths with a spoon to fish out the stones, it was useless. I began to dig a new hole, with nothing but a hand spade and it took me an hour. Got the spike in, filled in the hole set up the whole thing and it was a piece of shit. Just junk. It's...awful. I took the whole contraption down again and went in for a cup of tea and to clean the baby, whose face was covered in dirt and spit. We'll return it (the whirly-jig, not the baby) and have to spend £40 on the ninja-hot big whirly-jig instead.
I may go to the gym tonight after the kids are in bed. That's not obsessive is it?
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Sassy, as always, is up for having her picture taken, but the wee one has decided to go for a simian standard smile. She makes this face every time we tell her to smile. I blame her father - he laughed at her the first time she did it and now she thinks it's great. Daddy still laughs when she does it, reinforcing the chimp-face, and wee are not very amused in Mommy-land. She does smile properly if we ask her to say cheese.
We've also been to the science museum, art museum and taken a few drives along the coast. Just having fun. I know it's HNT, and I should include a partially nude pic, but I'm in a rush...maybe next week.
Sunday, April 09, 2006
Folks are finally noticing I've lost weight! Yesterday I had three comments!! The Hubs woke up early and was rubbing my belly, and he said "You feel different, you are losing weight." but in a good way - it was all tone of voice.
Then, Great-Grandma was talking to me, when in the middle of her sentence she reaches over and grasps my arm and says "Your face is looking thinner dear, you're starting to look more like your old self." and then I shouted "No, You're old!" and then there were tears...Just kidding. I'm always polite to GGrandma, in fact I volunteered to paint her bedroom and hallways for her. I love that woman.
The third was a Schoolmum/polite-chat friend/fellow occasional gym lady who also mentioned my face was slimmer.
So huzzah! We went to the Museum, and had a lovely day, it was really busy with everyone else in the city having the same idea, but it was ok. They had a "Creepy Crawlies" exhibit we wanted to see where they have giant moving models of bugs, a stamp book tour, and a model kitchen with all kids of disgusting things in the drawers when you open them, like: weevels, termites, silverfish, maggots...you get the idea. It was great for the kids, but I was grossed out. I want to drown my kitchen in bleach and DDT.
For dinner last night I made Tesco Chicken Korma (The exploding kind- only ours didn't) wraps with salad and a small bit of cream cheese, they're so yummy! I was extremely cautious of the korma, just in case it decided to become napalm.
And, yet again, I was hungry at bedtime. I had a small bowl of choco-krispies and that kept me sleeping until morning. I'm a bit bummed out - I was going to ask Neel about the hunger surges, but he's not touched his blogs since December. I could e-mail him, but that may be rude; what do you think?
Anyways, hope you folks had a nice weekend. I'm going to make a huge effort to sleep in past 7am tomorrow, as we have no reason to wake up at all. I was at the gym today - had an awesome time. I'll be going again tomorrow morning, and the Hubs has said he'll get me the annual membership after April payday on the 15th. Hooray2!!
Can I just tell you folks, I cooked up the most fucking amazing sirloin steaks for dinner tonight. I used to ruin every steak I ever tried to cook, but I finally figured out the secret: Hammer them a few times and don't cook them too much. A minute and a half each side is all that's needed on a very, very hot grillpan and they're amazing. Sassy asked for seconds - what a sweet wee carnivore she is. Anyways, I just wanted to brag. We don't have steak very often, maybe a few times a year so when it's prepared, it's damned special.
Friday, April 07, 2006
Kind of takes the fun out of Eider Ducks we get in our local cove. It's still all a bit "Well it could be this...Could be that." going on. Perhaps the swan they found on the beach came in on the tide? Could have died while flying over. Of course, he may have died en route, but his buddies might have landed on our soil. The countries are acting like "Ew, you've got cooties now!", not really, but it feels like that. We've got cooties.
Today they're looking at a bunch of dead seagulls. The news keeps telling us not to panic, don't make a drama into a crisis (that's just stupid, really. Politicians should read from teleprompters, and not speak their minds.) But, honestly, I'm not too bothered. Perhaps I'm susceptible to the "don't panic" messages being implanted into my head every 15 minutes. I'm already immune to it, I already shouting "Shut the fuck up about the dead bird!" I mean, I lived through the O.J. Simpson escapades, I watched the white bronco runaway, live. I kind of figure, that's enough for my large scale news interuptus. I'm not even going to start with 9/11.
Is that selfish; that I'm bored to death with news abuse? That the constant death and doom crimps my style and really, I'd rather listen to the Tweenies than another up to the minute update of nothing new at all? Why haven't dumb folks with "balls of steel" lawyer sued the news networks yet for making them depressed with all their gloomy-doomy reports? If they can sue McDonalds for making them fat, surely CNN can be sued for unworthy mood depressant. "I watched it for hours every day and it was always so awful; blood, bombs, death and then my home team lose! I was close to slitting my wrists." and of course we'd all shout "Why didn't you, you dick?" but still, they'd get plenty of air time on CNN.
Since I'm in denial, I'm not going to bother with all that birdie-piffle. I went to the gym today, pushed a little harder than normal. I've noticed my usual workout doesn't get my heart rate up as much as it used to, so I'm going to assume the machines are faulty, or I'm actually get fitter. Wouldn't that be a bitch?! I mean, I already feel like I'm pushing my limits, and now my body's trying to tell me "Push it MORE, bitch!!" I've got my own personal trainer lub-dubbing away in my chest. I mentioned to the hubs that I may actually be willing to pay (meaning he'll pay) for an annual membership, rather than paying per visit. Well, I did pay per visit in the beginning, then about a month ago I committed to buying ten sessions at once. So, the next big step is to go annual. It's a big step, but I'm quite happy about where this fitness malarky is going.
The past couple of days I've been really hungry. I seem to be having hunger pains all the time. I'm eating what I normally do, but at the moment, it's not been enough. I was using the pec-dec this morning when my stomach let out a ten second long growl that made the guy across from me look at me funny. I was worried he'd thought I'd farted, so I grabbed my tummy, made a face, and said something like "I swear I ate breakfast before coming in today." Then he laughed.
This also reminds me of an e-mail I got recently about a toilet that is my worst nightmare. I often have horrible dreams of desperately needing the toilet but can only find a toilet right in the middle of a busy shopping mall, and can't pee because everyone is looking at me and laughing at me. So this toilet - not cool.
Thursday, April 06, 2006
No, seriously, I just want them to stop. I want them to be smart, charming and sweet. I want my girls to be just like Shirley Temple. Not be like Lucy, but then I should talk, as I've always felt like I was Lucy. I even went to University for Psychology; not that I bother with it at all; I find listening to folks talk about depressing stuff just too...uhm, depressing.
What was I talking about again? Oh, yeah. The kids are bugging the tits off me. So, you folks can be my psychiatrists, and listen to me blabber on and complain; ok? Ok.
I'm very tired. Shortie has a cold, and she's needed her inhaler every two hours. She's not sleeping well either. I have a cold, but I've been fighting it. I have a sinus infection, so everytime I bend down I get stabbing pain in my forehead. The other night the pain was so bad, the whole left side of my head was throbbing, down to my shoulder blade and it was hot. I had no medicine in the house, so had to suffer it. I did buy some migrane pain killers in the morning, and I went to the gym. I'm not letting a headache stop me going to the gym!! Actually, I'm convinced that the workouts are stopping the cold from taking hold and knocking me on my ass.
I am, so tired now. Sassy keeps having tantrums because I say "No." everytime she asks for sweets. Sorry, but I'm not giving her sweets all day. She gets a sweet with her lunch, and a sweet if she eats her dinner, and that's enough. I'm not wasting my money on candies. It's naughty. It's bad.
Monday, April 03, 2006
The very last of my Laura Kinsale books arrived this morning!! So everything is here, I have a bookshelf full of new romances to read, and life is sweet.
I began to read Kinsale's For My Lady's Heart a few days ago. I'm up to page 70. This story is...is...really hard!! The dialogue is written in the "Olde Worlde" medieval English, and it gets very confusing in many areas. I'm still kind of skimming because every other paragraph I'm like "I'll have to think about a bit more...later" but I'm worried I may have to start all over again because I've really missed something. We have Melanthe, our heroine, who is a princess, very rich and suspected of being a witch and having killed her brother and husband and is pursued by a few different men who want to have control of her money and land. It's all gossip though, and she's not so keen on any of them. She has an escort named Allegreto, who is an assassin, kind of pervy in his devotions to Melanthe and the bastard son of one of the guys who wants to marry her.
Now, one some page, there's a paragraph where Allegreto thinks about the sacrifices he was forced to make by his father, in order to be Melanthe's escort...he doesn't say what those were, but I had the idea that his Daddy neutered him so he wouldn't dally with his intended booty - although there's a lot of touching, and hair combing and flirtations that makes you feel icky inside. Kind of explains why he's so bitter.
The book that arrived this morning is Shadowheart is a romance starring Allegreto as the dashing hero. So I'm thinking I got that interpretation wrong. I am only 70 pages in, I mean it wouldn't be too much hassle to re-read for clarity's sake, right? But I don't normally do that - if a book confuses me so much that by this point I'm still unsure about where it's headed then I put it down. But I can't really do that with this book. For the love of Beth, I'll carry on. I'll accept it as my own failing, and simple mindedness due to constant interruption from short people and CSI New York. I'll have a dictionary nearby so that when I come to a word I don't know, I can look it up - even though my vocabulary isn't lacking any. For Beth. And for the fact that Laura Kinsale said she'd pound on anyone who dissed her books. *nervous laugh*
I know I'm being a bit lazy, I should be excited to find a writer who challenges me. I'm hoping to become as ensorcelled as Beth and the other million fans who've become ensorcelled. I'm also hoping I end up liking the hero, Ruck. Poor guy, his wife goes and becomes all devoted to religion and joins a convent, but they're still bound by their marriage vows. She used to yell at him about how sinful he was to want to have sex with her. I always though it was religion that said "Go forth and multiply" so what kind of weirdo is she to think she should be chaste in marriage and waggle her finger at poor Ruck? He's just too soft I figure...even though he becomes a knight, and is really, really tough; he jousts and everything. He's called a beserker. I think with all that pent up frustration he would be fairly aggressive.
So anyways...I'm getting there. One paragraph at a time. I'll get it soon enough, I mean, I was able to read Buddah Da after a breaking in period. That's all this one needs...a breaking in period. Yeah. And no more CSI while reading; such a bad habit.
now...completely unrelated; Shortie slept through the whole night, pacifier free!! Hooray!
***Edit - I've been feeling guilty about being stunted by this book. I've been looking at some reviews for it, found out it was finalist in a book award, and other people agree the language stumped them too - but that they got used to it and learned to love it. I also found out that this book has been re-released with a glossary for half-wits and lazy folks like me. Poor me though, I have an original copy.
AND - I found the bit that made me think Allegreto was knackered. Page 38:
Melanthe returned his salute with an affectionate smile. "I will not have Lancaster at any price -but Allegreto, my love- when thou dost write to thy father, tell Gian that in truth, thou art such a tender gentle boy, there are moments I should rather take thee to husband in his stead."
Allegreto's face did not change. He maintained the pleasant curve of his lips, his dark eyes fathomless. "I would not be so foolish, my lady. That price has been indeed paid already."
Melanthe turned her face. She shamed herself even to taunt Allegreto with it. What Gian Navona had taken of his bastard son, to be certain Allegreto would sleep chastely in Melanthe's bedchamber was beyond cost or pity.
Ok...so what would you think that he took to ensure his son didn't shag her and often?? I don't think I was too left of field to make that assumption. I've peeked ahead into the ShadowHeart book where Allegreto does some seed burying to prove my mistake. *shrug* I aplogise for spelling errors or missed words...I have a busy house at the Moment.
Sunday, April 02, 2006
Today was spent in the company of our very best friend Colin. He's a super great man, and the Hub's best friend; they talk a lot of techno-geek together and I nod and allow them to buy me lunch, coffee, whatever. We went to the mall, browsed a lot. I bought some hair bleach so I can prelighten some wee streaks for a brighter colour contrast and some blistex. I really wanted some carmex - but can't find it here in the UK. I know it's an addictive substance - but I'm Jonesing for some. (Where does the phrase "Jonesing" come from?? Was there some famous Jones who was known for his uncontrollable behaviour satisfying his/her addictions??)
I am completely exhausted, and silly with it. Shortie decided to have a tantrum, non stop, until about 3 am this morning. We then got up at 7 for swimming. I refused the swim, taking IV coffee instead. I've been a wee bit naughty with my foods today, but not out of control. I'm up to the gym tomorrow, so I think I'll have balance. When I told Colin I was going to lose 8 stone in total, he said "There'll be nothing left to ya!" - We love Colin, don't we. He's single...any takers? He's a stand-up comic, and very well paid. eh? Huh? anyone? We'll talk later maybe.
I am very thirsty...always happens when I go out shopping, I forget to drink water and end up very dehydrated, and peeing all night from the 2 liters of water I drink before bed. If Shortie pulls her shit again tonight - I'll be ready.
Oh...and we're getting rid of the pacifiers tonight. that'll give her a reason to have a fit, at least. Wish me luck and lucid dreams.
A nice weekend to you all.
(Sunday Morning, April 2nd)
She did alright. She woke and had one huge fit for about an hour, and then stopped dead in mid-cry and went to sleep. No lie, it was "WAH WAH WAHHHHH. *sleep*
She woke again for about five minutes, but went right back to sleep then too. So not too bad. She didn't seem to miss the dum-dum much at all. We'd made a big show of gathering the four we have, and made her put them in the bin - to a rousing family applause each time and a standing ovation after the last one. She clapped for herself too. So she knew they were gone, but she didn't ask for them once. She drooled a lot less, which is a bonus.
I now have the vague tinglings of a cold. I hate that. And I wanted to go to the gym...I still may. It's not the flu, just a cold. Some sudafed will sort it out. I need sleep...but I want to go to the gym.
Do you hear me...I WANT to go to the gym. Look how far I've come.