Thursday, December 21, 2006


Sassy-face just got in trouble for telling me a lie. It wasn't even a good lie, you know one that could get her off being in trouble if I didn't fact check every word she utters. It was just an off the cuff, no reason, because I felt like it and couldn't stop myself kind of lie. I despise those!

The conversation went something like this:

Me: How was school today?

Her: Awful!

Me: Awww, why was it awful?

Her: I got PUNCHED in the EYE!

Me: Who hit you? (And let me at 'em!)

Her: David. (Ah, my best friend's son. That complicates things.)

Me: How did it happen?

Her: His fist HIT MY EYE!!

Me: I understand that part. Were you playing together? Was it an accident? Did you tell a teacher.

Her: NoOOOoooOO!! I don't want to talk about it. (My fingers twitch to text my friend)

So then she gets all whiny and sarcastic, shouts at me and I tell her to go sit in her room until she's calm enough to speak nicely and with manners. Ten minutes later she comes down and apologizes.

Me: So, can you tell me what happened?

Her: Well, I was playing tag with Amy and she ran over and slapped me in the eye, shouted "Tag" and then ran away. It really hurt.

Me: Uh-huh, but how did David punch you? (My God they ganged up on her!)

Her: Well, (here we go...) It was really Amy that hit me.

Me: David never hit you?

Her: No.

So I gave her a speech about how no one likes a liar and how she nearly got David in big trouble which would've been really bad as he's got behavior charts that if he gets too many X's he'll lose Christmas - his Mom is tough. But there was no reason to lie, she wasn't protecting Amy, she wasn't protecting herself, it was just...bullshit!

Me: You lied to me. Remember what I said would happen if I caught you in a lie again?

Her: No...(oh she's worried now, she knows full well!)

Me: (walks over to the frige and takes out the Tabasco sauce) Open up and stick out your tongue. (one big drop right in the middle) Don't lie to me again.

Then there was much hilarity as she ran about wanting water. I'm a bit tough, but only as it suits my amusement.


Maja said...

haha, the tabasco idea is awesome! I wonder how many times you'll get to use it from now on. I'm guessing heaps...

tornwordo said...

I love the punishment, lol!

Steven Novak said...

That god damn David hit me in the eye as well!!

Okay...I'm lying also. ;)


Red Hot Sexy Papa said...

Tabasco only? Hey, i had my mouth soaped!

Doug said...

I got soaped, too. MUCH worse than tabasco. Tabasco's good.

Lyvvie said...

Doug, believe it or not, I got soaped for sucking my thumb!! the worst part was it was while we were visiting someone's house and Mom used one of those decorative shell shaped soaps - I had green teeth. It was humiliating. Hence: Tabasco.

Kate R said...

Never occured to me to do something direct and obvious like tabasco. I would just talk at them until they keeled over. I think if I were a kid I'd rather have the tabasco. . .

Huh, I talk like the lies are in the past. Tabasco might be part of our future.