Friday, December 15, 2006


I'm grumpy. A bit hacked off and annoyed because it's my own fault I'm grumpy and I can't do anything to fix it anymore. I've waited too long and the time limit has expired. I should've complained, spoken up or mentioned doubts ages ago but no, I stewed. I waited to see if I'd change my mind but I haven't and now I have to live with an unsatisfactory decision of indecision.

One thing is, I'm not going to have an "expected" present this year for Christmas. Usually I get asked what I'd like, and then I get it. No surprises, no disappointment. Don't think for a minute I don't have guilt about feeling this way, because it's not the spirit of the holiday and I should be happy with anything, right? But like PBW shows, and many agree, some present really do become a burden. This year, all I've really wanted was some money to get new clothes, because I'm wearing a wardrobe that's too big for me now.

So when back in October, Husband says "Why don't we pull our Christmas money together and get ourselves a Nintendo DS with a few games!" I was a bit, no fucking way, and a bit gee look how excited he is about this, I should just give in and let him be happy. It's 'crismiss right? So I did. This means I have to fork over my holiday cash for this DS. I don't think I'll even play with it, I'm not interested in these really, not handheld games. I play on the gamecube a few times a week but it's not something I get to enjoy because I'm always interrupted.

So, I've been buying myself presents. Not always the best idea, but there it is. And I've already opened them. Of course. I bought both Amy Winehouse CDs, a new non-stick titanium Peking wok, a book and new gymwear. It's just, not, exciting.

What I'd like is to be surprised with a wonderful present. Something that really shows I'm loved, appreciated and understood. A present that I didn't even know I'd love. Something I didn't expect to be the perfect gift. And maybe the DS will be that, but I'm not making any wagers. An actual surprise would be nice.

See, I had planned on getting this rather expensive, perfect present for Hubs. But he's really upset me recently and I've not bought it. I think he's been too naughty to get the big present. I've been pouting and giving the cold shoulder, but he's just waiting out my huff until it dissipates. He's not even apologized. Here's what he did...

Last Friday Sassy-Face was in her room playing with Gomez, it was 8:25 and I called up to her to say she needed to brush her hair before going to school "Fuck OFF!" I get as a response. She got an earfull, grounded for a week and told if she ever says that to me again she'll get a mouthful of Tabasco sauce. (She says she wasn't saying to me, but because she was mad she couldn't keep playing, either way, not good) I phone Hubs at work and told him what she'd done and he's upset. When he comes home at night he gives her a masterful guilt trip that leaves her in tears. Properly chastised, united front from the parents. He and I talk about how we'll have watch what we say from now on, lead by example...

Saturday mornings are busy. I have an hour to wake the girls, get them breakfasted, dressed and ready to go out for swimming lessons. It always seems no matter how much I prepare, we never get ready in time. Hubs will usually lie in bed while I'm racing about, agitated and shouting at the kids and it pisses me off. I've worked until midnight, gone to bed at one in the morning and up at seven again and I hate that he stays in bed until almost quarter to eight, and then hogs the bathroom when the rest of us are needing to brush our teeth, getting huffy that we're bullying his toilet time. So, last week it was mayhem, we were to leave in five minutes and I didn't have a snackbox packed or drinks made up and was still getting everything together with kids shouting and fighting, and he starts yelling at the kids for being unruly. I shouted back at him that if he got up earlier he'd be a better help than just shouting at the kids. "Stop nagging me and just fuck off!"

It took a lot of control not to kill him right there on the spot. Completely undermined not only me but himself and his wonderful speech the night before. He showed his kids he's just full of shit and that I'm not worthy of any respect. Icy is what he's received ever since. I'm not talking to him if I can help it, I'm not initiating affection, forget it. He's not getting the nice present either. He's beyond grounded. Still no apology, either. He's such an ass.

Then there's the thing about me having a sore back for a while because the mattress is old and not as supportive as it used to be. I complained about eight months ago but Hubs said a new mattress was too expensive right now and we'll suffer it , besides he doesn't have any back trouble. So I spent months doing loads of extra abdominal exercises to build up core strength, because I thought it was just me. He recently gets a sore back for a couple weeks and Lo, we have a new mattress. Although I'm happy to have a new mattress, I still feel like punching him.

So...yeah. I'm grumpy.


Doug said...

I found you a basque. Does that help?

As for the back . . . get yourself an eggcrate mattress pad. They're wonderful.

Lyvvie said...

Sealy posturepedic mattress still with fresh from the factory smell is working fine. My backache is better now too, the abs work actually did help. I think the mattress is too thick to get an eggcrate and then have the sheet fit too...odd really as the old mattress was too thin and I'd get the sheet rumpled under my side which was sore.

If it's not one thing, it's another as they say.

bugsbutt said...

Jeez. Give them both a wee punch in the stomach.

Then light the house on fire.

Ninendo DS? My daughter has one. They're not all that great.

Go for the PSP.

Steven Novak said...

My wife went the DS route earlier this year...

Eh..their okay I guess...

I'm a little grumpy myself. ;)


Susie Sunshine said...

You go and buy YOURSELF something incredible to make up for the sore back and the fuck off and the video game crappage.
The Mister's big gift is that you haven't shoved a big lump of coal up his ass or made him sleep out on the sidewalk.

Nancy J. Bond said...

I agree with Susie Sunshine! :) Men! ::shaking head::

Chunks said...

I don't want to "Bash Men', but I had lunch with my lady friends today and we decided that even the good husbands that you think you'd like to have for yourself ultimately will do/say something completely goddamn stupid sometimes. It's innate.

I also had a flip attack on my hubby this week and I tell you what, they don't get it until you are standing on the kitchen table flipping right out. Someone should do a study on it really.

Maja said...

Grrr! That would sooo annoy me too. I think you need to start putting your foot down. When I say we need something and Geezer says we don't I just tell him that yes we do and we're getting it!

But you will have to forgive hubby at some stage. In the end, holding on to the resentment only hurts you. You'll feel better once you've let go, but you should give him an ear bashing about it all first.


Lyvvie said...

We had it out this weekend, and things are fine. But He's mad at me because I played with the DS already - it's not right to play with presents before Christmas even if you know what they are already....apparently. (I only played with it after posting this because I was in a full on petulant mood.)

Kate R said...

Did you punch him? I would have.

On the plus side, you have a good strong core now. yay!

And the clothes are getting big? yay!

and . . .okay, I'll stop with putting the cheery face on it shit.

My husband didn't want a new bed but I went out and got one anyway. yay!
And when he groused about the cost, I said you coulda come along, but chose not to. So put a sock in it. double yay!

Maja said...

haha, go lyvvie!