Monday, November 27, 2006

Bitching and Damn I'm a Meanie.

On Jennifer Crusie's Fast Women and my Evil talent for Mothering.

So, I finished Fast Women and it was ok. It was about a divorcee who plucks up and gets herself a job as a secretary for a P.I. She's whizzbang awesome at organising and does both of the bosses. Not at the same time, though. Shame, it may have sparked the story up some.

I don't want to be unfair, but I wasn't a big fan of this story. It again, had far too many people in it to keep track of, all of these brother-in-laws, sister-in-laws, ex wives and their kids. The story couldn't figure out if it wanted to be a romance, or a murder mystery and unfortunatley, fell flat on both. This time however, I loved the Heroine Nell, she was good fun, spunky and unpredictable so was her confidante...uhm...I forget her name. But the Hero was bland and characterless. If Crusie had written a story with Nell and Phin from Welcome to Tempatation she'd have had a hot winner. Hell yeah. She seemed more interested in telling me about the Hero, Gabe's, cousin/business partner Riley. He had all the charm, sass and sexy backtalk. I kept thinking, How could Nell fall for Gabe when Riley is obviously the sexier man?? Is she demented? She should've booted her confidante's (best friends hooking up with cousins, cozy.) ass out of the way and continued that affair, not just settled for a one night stand. Jeez! And to get Grumpy Gabe as a prize - tcha. The mental picture I had was hot, sexy, and determined redhead pairs off with Fraiser's Dad. that's just not my thing.

This didn't have the fun, the spark or interest as Temptation did. I'm willing to try one more Crusie, so I'll take suggestions from folks as to which one I should read. As my library only has the two Crusie's, this means I'll have to fork over actual cash for one, so be sure and recommend a good one for me ok. This is probably a lame ass review, but when I actually had to go and get the book to look up Riley's name because I'd already forgotten it, that there has to be a sign.

So there you go; a lackluster review for a lackluster story. I was rooting for it to get better, it just couldn't. Spread too thin and over extended.

Now, onto why I'm the meanest Mommy. I got a call from the school principal telling me Sassy was in trouble. She was found two days in a row scavenging through the other kid's schoolbags looking for food. She told the principal that her Mommy, that would be me, didn't give her any breakfast and she was hungry. She also didn't have any snacks in her bag. So she was left with no alternative but to steal candy from her classmate's schoolbags.

Now, I have blogged many times about the fights and struggles I go through to get Sassy to eat breakfast, I have actual documented proof that not only do I feed her breakfast but that she is the one who fights and says she's not hungry. I also put extra snacks in her bag so I know she has something to eat if she gets hungry; things like cereal bars, fruit and occasionally a packet of potato chips. Let me assure you, as I have assured her principal, on both days Sassy did eat breakfast, and she did leave with snacks. Sassy is a candy junkie. What she was doing was going through bags in search of a fix.

I sat her down, we had a long talk about the evils of stealing and the evils of candy. Her punishment was to write out 50 times "I will not steal" and she is banned from all sweets for a whole week. She is also to write a letter of apology to her friend who's candy she nicked, and to me for lying about my depriving her of meals. And I didn't yell once. She seems sufficiently cowed.

So I was out doing some grocery shopping and Christmas shopping yesterday. Bought lots of healthy things because all of us need to cut the sugar out, we've been naughty for weeks. So it was lots of veg, fruit and healthy snacks. I even splashed out on this treat I've been wanting to try for months but couldn't justify the cost. I got some Wasabi Beans which is a nice, crunchy burn to the nosehairs savoury snack. Excellent in salads or mixed into chex mix type snacks. So when I got them home I, of course opened them and had some; nippy, crunchy and hot! I then shared with the Hubs who also thought they were great, in small amounts.

I left the packet on the counter while I was putting away the rest of the shopping. Sassy walked in and saw me eating the beans from the bag. I said "MMmmm these are really good." and she walked away. I finished the shopping, and with a smug smile on my face, went to sit next to the Hubs on the sofa. Sassy went into the kitchen. I began to giggle. "What's so funny?" the Hubs asks me. "Sassy is about to sneak a few beans in her mouth, thinking they're yogurt covered raisins or something." "You're not going to stop her?" He asked "Hell no!" and just then we hear the sound of spitting and a bean skitter across the floor. Sassy races out of the kitchen and up the stairs right into the bathroom. "Everything ok sweetie?" I shout. "You are mean." chuckles the husband.

Later we asked her what she thought of the beans "Those are horrible! Disgusting! Mean Mummy, leaving them out." but she had an embarrassed smile on her face and damn it was worth it. I am a Mean Mummy.


NWJR said...

That's about the funniest thing I've read in...well, a long time.

You're brilliant. She's lucky to have such clever parents.

Marg said...

Very funny!

Doug said...

My friend Blue Gal wrote a song, "I'm the Meanest Mommy in the Whole Wide World." Wish I could remember the lyrics. But that's you, all right! :) Great story.

Another Crusie . . . hmm. Her titles are so not memorable. I liked the book about the art teacher who chucks her boring boyfriend and gets herself a dog. Yeah, I know, another Crusie dog, but this dog actually helped move the plot along. I liked the book's theme -- breaking out of a routine, humdrum life -- and I liked both the H & H. The heroine's ex-boyfriend turns into an uber creepy stalker, too, which added to the fun. Damn, wish I could remember the name.

Maja said...

haha, brilliant!

Beth said...

Doug, that's Crazy For You - also my favorite out of all the Crusies I've read. Give it a shot, Lyvvie.

And you of course did precisely the right thing in leaving the beans out. That's parenting at its absolute best, right there. Seriously.

Lyvvie said...

Crazy for You. Right. Got it. Will see what I can do. Although you do realize I'll have that cheesy Madonna song in my head for ages now.

The beans were great. I found one on the stairs and a couple more up in the bathroom trashcan so she must've taken a good mouthful of them. Maybe it will teach her to read the contents in the future.

Gerbera Daisy said...

That was such a funny story about Sassy and the beans.

chryscat said...

You are sufficiently wicked. It's why I like you so.
Serves little Miss Sassy right. I would SO do that to any and all of my own. hehehe

Chunks said...

The world needs more mean mums! I love it!