Sunday, October 15, 2006

A daily conversation in my head...

I need a pee, I need a pee keep holding, keep holding. At the front door, get Shorty out and in the house. put the pushchair in the garage, holdonholdon. Hold. On. Squeeze....squeeze. Not going to wet yourself, that would be huge-bad. Need a peeEEEEeeeee....Shut up, shush, stop thinking about it. Yay, made it to the loo, no leaky wees, Hooray! Now have to untie gympants, and...no...NOnono! A fucking knot! dammit, why do I bite my nails, I can never get knots out... squeeze, squeeze...need scissors? Oh fuck. Wait, got it. Squeeze a little longer, drop pants....and....There! Now. Wee a little bit and then SQUEEZE, hold it no dribbles NO DRIBBLES, Hold it for: three four five and relax. Ahhh. Whew.

I think most women who've had natural childbirth will have this conversation in their heads at some point in any given week. We should all understand the lasting impressions we leave on our mothers and should appreciate them more everyday.

We bought a cheesecake at Costco yesterday. It's. Pure. Evil. And it's in the fridge right now, being all nice and sweet and, and...nice. But I know it's evil. I know it's bad bad bad to the core of it's creamy middle and crumbed bottom. And yet, I'm yearning for some cherry pie filling to slather all over the top it. Help me!!!

I've taken a few days off from the gym and I feel much better for it. I'm struggling with sore hip flexors though, and I'll need to look into some kind of stretches to help them out, it seems to be the road running that's causing it.

I ordered up the orange Saucony Propel sneakers from Zappos and shipped them to my Mom, who'll bring them over with her when she visits in November.

For the past three weekends I've been the Super Hair Stylist. I've groomed both of my Mother-in-law's cocker spaniels, and given both my nephews haircuts too. Oh yes, I'm darned savvy with a clipper, comb and scissors. Boys are much easier, for some reason a #3 back and sides with tidy on the top is much easier than sorting out bangs on my two year old. I'll let the professionals sort that out. Or perhaps it's because they are my children and they act up for me, whereas they are perfect little angels in the chair for the stylist. They're just little girls, but already, they know and appreciate the glamour of the salon. Bless them.

MMmmmm I'm soooo delicious. Shut up cheesecake. Just shut up. It's only 9:30 in the morning. I'm not eating any of you. Not for breakfast. No no no. I must get out. will go for a run. jog. yes. That'll work up a good appetite for some cheesecake. Shut up cheesecake.


2 comments:

Chunks said...

The pee thing and the cheesecake thing I can TOTALLY relate to! The running thing? Not so much. I suffer from terminal laziness.

NWJR said...

It's always time for cheesecake. Unfortunately...