Sunday, August 20, 2006

Where you at?

I know I've been AWOL - sorry about that. I've been stressed with an over anxious child who's far too excited about going back to school on Tuesday. Sassy has been nearly unbearbale for a few weeks now. she annoys her sister, who then screams - and I mean a high pitched, full blast, lungs of a Diva type screams - and I've been counting to twenty so much it's my mantra now.

The only break I can get was when I go to the gym. There I have two hours away from them and their noise. I've been in the gym a lot lately, as you would imagine. That causes exhaustion, which added to irritable hormones from hell (that I am seeing the Dr. about) during my period and ovulation (oh yeah, a double whammy of raging hell) and I've been a bit of a wreck. Also, three weeks of Atkins worked great for losing weight, but added to the extreme irritibility - like crazed-fuming-nuts some days, where the only cure was a half a bottle of white wine and a few cigarettes.

I keep thinking of what my grandmother used to tell me "If you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all." which is why I've been quiet - I've not really got much nice to say. But, this is my blog and if I want to bitch moan and complain I should. Why not? Well, because family read this too, usually trawling for pictures of the kids, but they do read it too. So can I be completely honest - not really. should I change the URL - what would that achieve? I know folks do it all the time, but do I want to? Perhaps I should set up another blog for family viewing, and keep this one as the online journal where I can express myself freely (a phrase which always make me think about lactating up a wall - as did the song "Express yourself") but then, they do still have this URL - wouldn't they just get curious, nosey and paranoid??

Quandary.

I'm currently enjoying the fact that I'm now slimmer than I was before I fell pregnant with Sassy eight years ago. I'm wearing jeans that I bought back in 1997 and never wore because they were tight and uncomfortable and gave me a muffin top so I have nine year old new jeans. The weight thing kind of gets me down; I work my ass off - quite literally - and the changes are slow. Seven months and I've lost 35lbs. I have to keep reminding myself that I am also weight lifting, so as I lose a pound, I probably gain it back again in muscle. The scale doesn't tell me what I want to hear, but my clothes do. the question still hovers about me: do I confess my real weight, progress and the like? I'm not comfortable with that yet. I don't mind talking about what I'm doing and all that stuff, but having to reveal - well it's just too much. I'm a girl with body issues (except for my boobs - they're great) and an eating disorder to contend with so you'll have to understand there's a high level of shame involved. I get cagey about my weight.

My new gym routine, which starts tomorrow, is very challlenging. Here's the schedual:

Monday – Chest and Biceps

30 minutes cardio + 10 minutes running/one mile

Flat Bench Press
Incline Bench Press
Flat Bench Dumbell Flyes
Fly machine front and back
Standing Cable Curls
Preacher Curls
Seated/Standing Dumbell Curls
Forearm twists
Wrist lifts
Wrist curls

Tuesday – Legs, Glutes and Abs

20 minutes stairclimber + 10 minutes running/one mile

Weighted squats
Weighted calf raises
Weighted lunges
Leg press machine
Leg lift machine
Leg curl machine
Crunches- regular and reverse
Weighted Sidebends
Heel touches

Wednesday – Off

Thursday – Shoulders and Triceps
20 minutes running

Seated/Standing Military Press
Lateral Raises
Shrugs
Tricep Press Down
Tricep pull down
Cable rows
Dumbell kickbacks

Friday – Abs
40 minutes cardio

Crunches - regular and reverse
Crunch machine
Weighted sidebends
Heel touches

Saturday – Swimming

Sunday – Cardio/running

I've been following this loosely for a couple weeks and it's rather sore, but I'm getting used to it. The running has been great, but I do get a sore right foot and have to shuffle the cardio workouts about so I don't aggravate it too much. I also started doing a spinning class on Monday.

I've bought a heart rate monitor, and it tells me that most of my workouts are burning between 700-800 calories, but I also walk around town and run errands, so from the minute I leave the house until I get back home it's usually about three hours and I burn just over 1000 calories. You'd think I'd be losing weight like crazy wouldn't you - Wouldn't you! But I'm losing maybe a pound a week, and that's on the 1500 calorie diet. Enter my frustration level.

Motivation is still: time alone for me, time for the kids to play in the creche and getting fit. I've been wearing my dad's belt lately to remind me why I need to lose weight. My Dad was overweight around the middle, and a diabetic, so wearing his belt reminds me that, that is path I'll follow if I give up. When my dad died, I didn't take much of is things, I didn't see the point, but I absolutely wanted his belt and at the time I didn't know why, but I'm very glad I did take it. Every time I wear it I feel that wee bit closer to him, and it feels like he's supporting me. I wish I'd also taken his harmonicas, but hey, I'm not complaining.

So what's been up with you?



3 comments:

Maja said...

Hey! That is one rigorous workout you've got there! I think a pound a week is better than nothing...

Are you taking a magnesium supplement for your muscles? If not, you should, it might help make them less sore.

Keep up the good work, you're a trooper!

Much love xoxoxox

Lyvvie said...

Thanks for that - I'll give it a try. I actually have some in the kitchen...gathering dust. But it's still within sell by date, so safe.

Thanks for the e-mail! ;)

Douglas Hoffman said...

I hate reading your workout details. It becomes so evident you could kick my ass around the block.

Happy to see you back, though ;)