Thursday, June 30, 2005

God Bless Strong Women...

Husband sent me this to share to with everyone. You've got to appreciate the spirit and smarts of a woman who can have her husband's sports car in her name only. He must be a total twat. Here's the Story...




Ananova:
DJ's wife sold his Lotus for 50p
A controversial radio DJ's wife sold his £25,000 sports car on eBay for just 50p after he flirted with Jodie Marsh on air. Kerrang 105.2's Tim Shaw told the model he was prepared to leave his wife and their two children for her, reports Metro.

Wife Hayley was listening and immediately posted an advert for the Lotus Esprit Turbo with a 'Buy It Now' option of 50p. The item description read: "I need to get rid of this car in the next two to three hours before my husband gets home to find it gone and all his belongings in the street."
The car sold within five minutes.

On a previous occasion, the DJ upset Mrs Shaw, 27, when she was pregnant by ringing her sister live on air and saying he thought about her while having sex with his wife. Mrs Shaw said: "When he said he would leave me and the kids for Jodie Marsh, that was it for me. I am sick of him disrespecting this family for the sake of his act. "The car is his pride and joy but the idiot put my name on the log book so I just sold it. I didn't care about the money, I just wanted to get him back." She added: "There is no hope for a reconciliation."

A Kerrang 105.2 spokesperson said the DJ was 'absolutely gutted'.


And here's the link to see the sad bastard and his beloved...car.


Mrs. Shaw:
I salute you, I raise my glass to you and I'll sing your praises. You are an inspiration to us all.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Just when I thought it was safe...

Life is on a downhill at the moment. It's okay. I know it can't always be fluffy clouds and rainbows; I'm philosophical and accepting. I know there's some theory about biorythyms and such, but I'm too lazy to read about it. I do have a wee thing on my mobile, but the instruction booklet doesn't explain it. It just says "Admire the handy biorythym feature!" so I suppose the information is out there waiting for osmosis to take place, perhaps it'll blow in on the next breeze.

This a week of planning. I have 6 weeks of school holiday with Sassy-Face and the Baby (Who we've started calling Noggin because she's got a permanent bruise somewhere on her forehead from falling down. She's got such a huge head that if she falls the sheer weight of the bowling ball on her shoulders pitches her forward even faster and with greater force into a final impact; be it floor, wall, door or often my big toe. Poor Lumpy Noggin) I'm trying ot organise regular lunches, which I know she won't eat. Regular trips into Edinburgh for the Royal Museum and Royal Botanical Gardens. Maybe a trip to Butterfly World (expensive!) or the Camera Obscura. Lots of fun in the Princes Gardens where there's a playpark and merry-go-round (they never put the apostrophe in "Princes" and it annoys me) and lots of other stuff too. I was thinking of going to Rosslyn to see the chapel, but it's still full of dumb tourists following the path of the Da Vinci Code...yes, they do do that.

Husband says we should do more reading and writing practice with Sassy over the summer so she doesn't forget anything and she can catch up. We got her report card recently. It never said anything bad, but it was boringly normal. A few words about low self-esteem and being afraid to try new things, she's naturally cautious. So, I imagine a few trips into different town's libraries will be in order too. At least hey are free entertainment.

Needless to say (But I'm gonna anyways) I'll be scaling back my time on the computer over the summer time, to probably one or tow posts a week. It's not fair on the kids otherwise. My own writing will have to be an after bedtime treat, but only if my chores are done. I'm entering into the unknown. I've never had two kids home for the whole summer before. I'm a bit apprehensive. I'll have to read more of Susie's blog and Chrys's...and any other mom's blog who has more than two. Then I'll feel I'm just being a big noise and I'll get on with things.

But I'm buying a big bottle of gin, just in case.

Friday, June 24, 2005

Peek-A-Boo

According to a recent post by the Lightening Bug's Butt, there's a recipe for creating a great blog; and I was dismayed to see that according to his recipe, My blog must suck!

There's a lack of political commentary; but that's because I'm not very political. I live in a country where I can't vote, and I've not voted in any USA elections...ahem...ever. Sorry! I know that's horrible of me and there's no excuse. The first time around was when I was 19 years old, and I was going to vote for Clinton, but decided to have sex with my boyfriend instead and then go for coffee and a Boston cream donut. Before i knew it it was too late. I didn't feel to bad though because, well, Clinton won even without my vote. The other two times I admit was pure laziness on my part and I didn't go to the embassy for an away ballot. I am guilt ridden as a result. I promise, the next time...I'll vote. Sorry Mom, I know I lied about voting back in '92, but I couldn't tell you the truth.

I don't have any of the scary stories I penned while in high school. When moving countries, you can only take what you really need. The rest was thrown away when my folks sold the family home in '98. I do remember a story about a lonely sad guy who was trying to call someone, a doctor maybe, but he was put on hold. He was sitting there talking to himself about how much he hates being on hold when a voice starts talking to him. In the end it turns out to be some evil demon thing and it turns the guy into a pile of dust after seducing his soul away from him. I think I was trying to write something for the Twilight Zone or the Crypt Keeper...I dunno.

I have no pictures of my pets looking their cutest, but I'll just substitute with my kids instead.

I wouldn't bother with an open letter to my Ex, because life is too short to hold onto sad or bitter feelings. I talked with him last year actually after 10 years. Found his info on Classmates (what a dork am I?) We exchanged two letters, I sent him a photo of my then 3 month old and I never heard from him again. *shrug* no booty call then?

I wouldn't write a letter about why Mac is better than PC because I'm not a techno-geek and really could care less. So long as I can send e-mail, do word processing and play with my blog, I don't care.

I've not put any song lyrics up. I did post one poem, and one link to a music video of Weird Al...I hope that counts.

The final was "A photo showcasing your cleavage". I've never done that either, but if anyone's interested...here ya go!
Peek-A-Boo

And just for good measure, some bum cleavage too.
Peek-A-Bum

I hope that helps. I really want a successful blog. Thanks for the advice LBB!!

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Insufficient Lint Brush

Yes, a lint brush won't work on this.
Can you see this, dear readers?
Right here...
The stuff on my shoulder, do you know what that is?
I do.
That's grey matter.
I think it's been oozing out of my ears for a couple weeks now, but I didn't notice until recently.
I think it was Monday when I figured it out.
There it was, another blob of grey matter sitting there on my shoulder. I've just been brushing it off; no big deal. A bit sticky, but smelled of vanilla taffy, so nothing to worry about.
It took me a while to figure it out. But I did. Finally...
I knew a long time ago that not going back to work would have adverse affects.
The introduction on this blog tells it all; "Don't want to end up like a drooling nutcase..." I feel I may be on that path. No wait...I'm there!
I noticed that all my posts as of late have been about the kids.
Except recently where I got out a glue stick and construction paper and made a candy wrapper collage. That was the red flag, the blue light, the warning shot.
I need grown-ups. I need big people. I need help.

I was talking with friends last week. They were going on about the G8 summit, and what a hassle it was going to cause us all.
I had no clue what they were talking about.
I hid this fact by fussing over the baby, but I listened.
Government leaders coming to Edinburgh?
A huge parade?
Bob Geldof telling thousands of folks that we here would gladly give our floor space and spare bedrooms to strangers to make G8 work?
Pres. Bush not allowed to stay in Gleneagles because there's no hotel to put up all of his private Navy unit?
I had no idea.
I haven't read a newspaper in months.
I never see the six or seven o'clock news, that's bathtime and bedtime hours. I go to bed myself before ten.
I felt minute, miniscule and...a bit like Gracie Allen but without the charm and fine dress sense.

I don't really know what to do about it.
If I still lived in the city I'd go to a museum or something. I'd talk to strangers at the bus stop; probably about G8, and I'd know a thing or two.

If you see me, or someone that looks like me, with a blob of grey matter on their shoulder; be kind. I probably won't understand what you're talking about.

Monday, June 20, 2005

Dirty sweets bought dirt cheap...

We bought these taffy chews from CostCo for Sassy-Face's party. Husband noticed they all seem to be engaging in activities previously not seen in fruit...well; some fruits maybe.

The cherry one is particularly telling...and the orange.


Dirty sweets

Funny thing is, we still have plenty left over to share with the kids on Halloween.

Husband now asks for a Cherry-Stem when he wants some affection.

Sunday, June 19, 2005

Party!!

Well the party was AWESOME!! It went better than I ever expected. We had 16 guests out of an invite list of 27, not too bad. Mostly girls, we only had two boys show; is this an indication of the seperation of the sexes as play-pals already?

We rented a party package from out local sports center, so it's a two hour affair where the first hour is a runabout in a "soft play gym" and the biggest frigging bouncy castle you ever saw in your life (about 15 ft. high and 20 ft. wide, made of tough canvas and yes, a 200lb woman can bounce safely in it! Actually, two can...) I had the pleasure of having two of the best moms come and hang out with us (As the two Moms I had thought were going to help did not; one had to go back home because her husband needed a jog, and the other thought the party was on Sunday, not Saturday) These ladies were the best; running riot with the kids, playing tag (called "tig" here), being bounce assistants (more like defensive backs, chucking the kids back in when they bounce out of bounds) and being the tickle monsters and the second hour is for food, cake and party games.


As previously mentioned I was not going to be the hostess with all the usual party games, so I paid a feller (Mr. Barking!) to come and sing songs and entertain the kids. He was superb. He had a great mix of fun songs, toilet humor, snot jokes and even a very cheeky rag doll puppet. They had chocolate cake and snacks with candy necklaces and watches while they watched Mr. Barking, and then a party bag full of other candy, a toy and a party popper to take home.

unfortunately...we were having so much fun playing with all the kids, we forgot to take pictures.

*Shrug*

Sassy-Face is still sleeping...and it's almost 9am. Unheard of. I'll be buying a bouquet of flowers for each of those Super-Moms
who helped make this party such a success. now...the thanks you cards...*poop*

Friday, June 17, 2005

Presents!!!

Sassy-Face came into my bedroom at 7:10 this morning to wake me up for her Birthday (Who turned the alarm off I wonder...It usually goes off at 6:40.) We had a bit of a tussle in the bed, full on tickling until the cry of "I need a wee, I NEED A WEE!!" was achieved. So, I went for a wee and then I asked her what she wanted next...she smiled shyly "presents..."

"Okay then, go downstairs and get 'em!"

thud thud thud thud...rip rip rip rip...

And here's the present, Present Breakdown!

18 inch poseable Spiderman Action Figure (I got told off for calling it a "doll")

Teen Titans Vol 1 DVD (Which we had to watch at least one episode of before school)

A small collection of coloring books and "Add water only: paint on page" painting books (she's a maniac and will color every page one after the other for hours. It's a compulsive thing with her.)

Glow in the dark Aliens and Stars stickers (For her ceiling)

Scoobies ("The Newest Fashion craze!" but, you know, when I was a kid, it was called gimp {Any computer dorks having a laugh because of the program of the same name: Get a Life!!} and we braided with it all Summer long in Camp)

That's it from us.

Auntie T and Uncle C have sent a parcel that arrived this morning (From California) And Sassy-Face will open it when she gets home from school. Wow! A collection of beads and doo-dads to make necklaces and bracelets with!! I can see her making an assembly line of crafts until every bead is gone.

I'm scared to think what assorted things she'll get from the kids at the party tomorrow. I don't think there's enough room in the toybox to accommodate it all.

Perhaps a Charity shop drop off will need to organised (Yipee!!)

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Busy, Busy, Busy

It's countdown to Birthday.

Sassy-Face will be 6 years old tomorrow. She's driving us all insane with her excitement. It's sweet...but not all day. We've bought the candy, ordered the cake and still need to get paper plates, cups, noise-makers and hats. I'm reasonably calm about the whole thing; I though I would be worried, but I'm not. What's the point, eh?

So, Saturday will be the big party. It's only two hours, it'll fly by and she'll feel like a princess to be the center of attention; which she desperately needs. She's been pretty good about sharing her attention and affections with Lumpy-Nut.

She's been behaving like gold this week, so if she can keep up the good work until bedtime tonight, I'll let her not be grounded for tomorrow. Being grounded on your birthday...how sucky. I can't do that to her. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for her to behave. Please....be good.

I'll post pictures later...

Have a nice weekend everyone!

Monday, June 13, 2005

Yowzers!


Yowzers!
Originally uploaded by Lyvvie.
I've never seeen an egg like this before!! The Baby just missed a step walking in our garden and next thing: face meets paving stone.

Funny enough, the fall didn't upset her too much, but the bag of frozen peas I used to reduce the swelling induced a screaming and kicking fit for five straight minutes. But Mom's gotta do what a Mom's gotta do.

Nothing a suck on a baby wipe won't fix though.

Yowzers!


Yowzers!
Originally uploaded by Lyvvie.

And so it continues...

Sassy-Face has her birthday on Friday.

I had to ground her for a week this morning. She will therefore be grounded for her birthday. What did she do? She's wet the bed for the fourth time in a week. And before anyone tells me it's not her fault and it's normal for kids her age; this
IS her being lazy! 100%. She wants Mommy to change her sheets and give her a shower in the morning. I was nice and supportive the first two times, I was blank and non-communicative the middle two times, but this was just pushing the mark. I made her clean it all: She stripped her own bed, and gave herself a shower (I had an evil laugh when she shrieked about the cold water coming out first) and put all the wet sheets and soggy stuffed animals in the washing machine.

She was wetting about a year ago in the run up to the baby being born, and I understood she was stressed about the big changes to our family, but it was over by the time the Baby was 6 weeks old. Maybe she's having a regressive episode in the run up to growing older, I just don't know. I know it's temporary because she's been dry for almost a year; she's perfectly able to wake in the middle of the night to use the toilet. But this didn't earn her being grounded.

Two weeks ago it was raining and miserable for two days in a row and the Baby and I both had an awful case of cabin fever. I decided to meet Sassy-Face at the bus stop, rubber boots in hand and we would walk in the rain up to the wee shop and buy chocolate. We had a great time splashing in puddles and singing songs really loud in the deserted streets. Sassy-Face got herself a flip-pop. She couldn't eat all of it so we saved it in the fridge for later. The next morning she asked if she could take it to school. I said no; sugar makes her distributive in class so I limit how much she gets during school hours (I even pack her lunch.). She obviously disagreed, because she went into the fridge, took it out when I wasn't looking, and ate it at school. She would've gotten away with it too except she left the used plastic flipper in her lunchbox. I've told her I will not buy her candy for three months. That does not mean she cannot have candy for three months, just that I won't be giving her any.

Saturday, I was in the grocery store with the girls, and while at the checkout, I saw cola flavored Hubba Bubba. MMMmmmm my little voice inside said. I grabbed it and put it on the conveyer belt.

"Can I have a bit?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm not giving you candy for three months. That doesn't mean I need to be punished from the odd sweet though."

"That's not fair."

"Hopefully, then, you won't sneak lollypops to school after I tell you you're not allowed."

Now, maybe that was mean of me, and she was right, not fair. I put the gum in my bag and forgot about it. I didn't even have a piece until 10pm after everyone, even Husband, had gone to bed.

So how surprised was I to find clumped up brown goo in the hair behind my daughter's ear this morning? A quick sniff revealed the truth: cola flavored gum. (*BING* just realised how it got there! In reading Charlie and the Chocolate factory, Violet Beauregard puts her manky gum behind her ear. GRRrrrrr!!) Out came the scissors and off came the clump of hair (And yes, I was completely mean and tried to brush it out first for about a minute just to show her how bad gum in the hair is.) I suppose she's lucky it was behind the ear and not right on top of her head.

So, that's why she's grounded.

I suppose I asked for it buying the frigging gum in the first place. I only wanted to blow bubbles while no one was looking. *Sigh*

Friday, June 10, 2005

Not a good day...

It started last night actually. Sassy-Face made me cry. I let her go and have dinner at her friend's house, even though she had dinner at a different friend's house the night before. When she got home I let her play games on the computer while I got the Baby bathed and ready for bed. When the Baby was asleep, Sassy-Face and I shared some marshmallow cookies, then I read her three chapters from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Ace Mom right? Well, not enough for her. She told me she wanted Sophie's mom to be her Mom instead. Or Tara's Mom, it didn't matter to her. She says this while I'm hugging her goodnight, like nothing I've done has mattered; I'm not good enough to keep as a Mom, she wants them instead. I let her go, said goodnight and went downstairs.

I tried not to cry, which of course makes it even worse. Just as I had given in, Husband came home (He always comes home late on a Thursday. He goes to spend some time playing with our nephew.)I told him what happened, and he went right up to Sassy-Face and gave her the guilt trip of a life time. I was really proud and I felt really guilty, like a tattle-tale; would she be mad at me for telling? It was nice to have Husband stick up for me though. He spoke with her for about 20 minutes, but I couldn't hear most of it.

Sassy-face came down and gave me a passing apology, hug and then went back upstairs. Husband came down and told me about their conversation. Sassy-Face doesn't want to be the oldest anymore: It's too hard. She wants to be the little sister. If she lived with Sophie or Tara, she would be a little sister, and life would be easier. What does an almost six year old find so hard about life? Well, eating her breakfast in less than a half an hour, brushing her own teeth and getting dressed all by herself are the top of the list. She finds school hard too. She seems to think a big sister will help her out with all this stuff.

I have no idea why she thinks a big sister would help her, when I never ask her to do these things for the Baby, and she's been doing them on her own for a couple of years now. I think, should I help her dress? No I don't need to. I don't need to hand feed her either. I'm not brushing her teeth; they all wiggle and it grosses me out. What can I do? I don't know.

Today, we had the usual shouting back and forth for her to HURRY UP! She makes me mental, she drives around in first gear all morning long. A half an hour for a bowl of cereal. Fifteen minutes for teeth brushing and another fifteen to twenty minutes for getting dressed: It Drives Me Insane! Whining for getting her hair brushed, whining for getting sunscreen (She breaks out in a horrible rash from the sun if she doesn't) and shoes on, and fuck, you name it.

The Baby is obviously learning some bad habits. She's been a moaner all morning too. I've not helped much either. When she woke up from her nap this morning, I got her lunch ready. I didn't read the ingredients on the Quorn fillet as I've given her the nuggets with no trouble (She's allergic to cow's milk), but halfway through lunch I saw hives break out on her cheeks and chin, a look at the Quorn bag proves; milk protein has been added. I'm a dumb-ass. I gave her a spoonful of anti-histamine and a bowl of porridge sweetened with maple syrup.

Once the rash faded and she'd finished the rest of her lunch, I thought we could do some finger painting. I'd bought paints and paper a couple of weeks ago and thought it would be fun. It wasn't. She took one look at my hands covered in purple paint and Freaked out. She was screaming and backing away from me. I kept smiling and saying nice, fun things, but she was having none of it. Putting paint on my nose didn't help either, nor did putting paint on her hands...or feet. She didn't like the look of it, the feel of it or the taste and she found my artwork pedestrian. Well she didn't say that but I could tell from her expression.

The only smile I got from her was when I put in her in the bathtub to wash it all off. Shame she couldn't stay in the bath forever. The moaning started as soon as she came out, and it's not stopped.

I didn't win the lottery either.

I'm thinking I need some chocolate therapy. I also think I'm too overweight and should not have chocolate.

Life kind of sucks right now.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Tagged!

I've been tagged by Nancy of Soliloquy to talk about the top 5 things I miss from my childhood.

but first...the Rules (Boo.)

Remove the number 1 item from the following list and bump everyone up one place and add your blog's name in the number 5 spot. You need to link to each of the blogs for much cross pollenation of your pal's blogs.

1. Riehlworldview
2. third world country
3. BTW
4. Soliloquy
5. Lyvvie's Blether

Next, select four new pals to add to the pollen count. (Not obligated to partake)

1. Bookseller to the Stars
2. Cryscat
3. Weary Hag
4. Maria

okay. Now that you've wasted an hour of your life cutting and pasting; write about the 5 things you miss the most from childhood.

Mine are...

1.) I miss being fascinated by everything; the wings of a bug, the joints on a spider's legs and the eyes on it's head, the dry brittleness of grass seed, poppy seeds as they fall out of pod, the mountain of fluff that comes from milkweed, the ebb and flow of the waves over my feet as they sink deeper into the sand, the smells of everything (shoes, clothes, food, air, flowers, animals, cosmetic's counters, old folk's homes, cars...) the various levels of crunch you get from different breakfast cereals and what happens if you mix them all in the same bowl, the rainbows that float over the top of a bubble that fade to black and white just before it pops.

The need to experiment, the time to be able to whist away the hours on being fascinated with world around us. As an adult we break our time up into segments of constructive activity, anything else is wasted time. A child doesn't waste time, they don't even know what time is.

2.) Antagonizing my older brother. I am 7 years younger than him, so when I was a kid, he was a teenager (And so good at it too; we hated each other) I would annoy him until he hit me and then cry hysterically so Mom or Dad would yell at him. I would break into his room and touch his stuff; incredibly risky if I got caught as I would definately be beaten up but I loved the thudding of my heart, the desperate attempts to hold my breath and prick my ears to catch any signs of him coming upstairs, only to manage to steal a tennis ball; but it was an amazing victory. The best all time item I ever stole from his room was a tightly rolled joint. I knew what it was thanks to Nancy Reagan (Just say NO!) and I immediately crumbled it up in my fingers and flushed it down the toilet. Later he came up to me and asked me if I was in his room. "No. Why?" and what was he going to say? He couldn't even go and complain to Mom...just in case, because I would definitely tattle-tale.

We are now all grown up (Him more than me, the big doofus. He thinks he's such a "Grown Up". not.) and separated by 6000 miles of ocean and turf but we're closer now than we ever were before.

3.) Being small. I miss being able to climb trees because I was light enough for a branch to support me. I miss being able to play in the playground; they make slides much narrower than they did in the 70's. I miss sitting on my Mom or Dad's lap and being cuddled in snug and safe, warm and loved and falling asleep to the sound of their heartbeat. I used to hide under cars, on the bottom of closets among dusty books and shoes, dig snow caves and hide in the shrubbery. Being small was wonderful. It's just a shame that, at the time, all I wanted was to be Big.

I'm now 5foot8 and around 200lbs. I'm not going to hide in any shrubbery, or sit on my mom's lap.

4.) Dairy Queen. I grew up across the street from a Dairy Queen. I also had a diabetic father. We were sugar deprived children and trips to the Dairy |Queen were super special treats indeed. I loved the Dilly bars, hot fudge sundaes with salted peanuts sprinkled on top and the slush type drinks. Being a small town shop they were accommodating to special requests; mine was to have a large dollop of vanilla soft serve dropped into grape flavored Mr. Misty (slushy), it was heavenly. When I introduced my Scottish boyfriend (now Husband) to Dairy Queen I got to experience the awe of the place all over again.

Adulthood robs you of these simple pleasures and makes them feel perverse, sinful and aging.

5) Summer Camp. My parents both worked full time so every Summer I was sent off to Camp Yomechas. It was a place to get away from school time bullies, and re-meet those Summer friends from last year. I had my first kiss there, swam my first 1000meters and I was an ace at archery and yet have never played it anywhere else or since. I watched the Perseids while sleeping in the middle of a field, and caught lightening bugs in a jar, only to be disappointed by their plainness in daylight. It was wild, hot, wet and full of the smell of clean dirt and pine sap. I went home every night warm, with slight sunburn and spent energy. During Summer camp, there was no time or interest in playing Atari games. On the weekends, my Mom and I would go back for family camping and nightly campfires, so I spent, just about, every day of my Summer vacation at Camp Yomechas

(In case you're wondering, Yomechas got it's name from the first two letters of Young Men's Christan Association)

Well there you go. I was a nasty little sister and an ice cream deprived spoiled brat. Can I go back?

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

I really hate it when...

...I make a Bloody Mary, and when I go to take the first scrumptious sip, the celery stalk slips over and pokes me in the eye.

I hate it even more when I then get tobasco sauce in my eye because I put my hand up to cover my eye and say "Ow". I then dance about whisper-shouting "fuckfuckfuckFUCK!" so I don't wake the kids.

I really hate that.

Saturday, June 04, 2005

(Forgotten) conversations with my 5 year old...

We've been having a testing day with Sassy-face. She's in a mood. She doesn't want to eat, but she does want to go swimming, playing out with friends and go to the Birthday Party at the aquarium for one of her wee pals. A kids got to eat in order to have the energy to do all that stuff. She makes many carbohydrate loaded suggestions that I say no to, she's already had cereal, chocolate cookies at Great-Grandma's house and bread; she loves plain bread, would eat a whole loaf of it if I let her. I thought some meat, protein was in order for a late-lunch-pre-birthday cake and candy feast. After much arguing, I just made a ham and cheese sandwich and some assorted veggies on a plate, plopped it in front of her and said "Eat this or no party." I may have even grunted, pointed and made angry caveman faces. Either way she got the message and began picking at her food in that annoying way she does as if she's thinking "I'm only enduring this because the sound of your infernal browbeating is now tiresome". What a brat.

This conversation took place after lunch...
Sassy-face: Mommy, I'm bored. When are we leaving.

Me: Twenty minutes.

Sassy-Face: Twenty Hours?? (exaggerated vowel sounds on hours so it "OOOoooowwwweeerrrsssss?")

Me: No. Twenty Minutes. In twenty hours it will be tomorrow and you'll have already been there, come back, had dinner, bath and been put to bed.

Sassy-Face: I get a story too. You forgot story.

Me: ...and if you've been good a story too.

Sassy-Face: Can I put a movie on?

Me: No. We're leaving in twenty minutes.

Sassy-Face: Can I go play Sonic(The hedgehog on our dreamcast)?

Me: (getting annoyed) No, we're leaving soon. Go outside and play for a bit if you're bored.

Sassy-Face: Nah, Don'wanna.

Okay...the reality is, I started writing this on Saturday, she had said some pretty funny things so I was going to write it down so I wouldn't forget, but we got into a tussle over her being a nag, I'm sure you can see that coming in the conversation I did manage to write before we had to run and to go to the party. Now it's Monday and I forget the whole conversation.

Who knows how many other pearls of wit I've forgotten. Why can't I have a brain that stores everything like an exact filesystem so I can simply recall at will. It's just not fair. We live on this Earth for such a short time on the grand scale of things, and when something makes us laugh, stop and take notice; we should have the brain capacity and decency to remember it!

I'm buying a dictaphone...

Friday, June 03, 2005

Frickin' Hippies...

I really want to complain about THIS but I'm afraid I'll look like a dork.

Trek, indeed.