Thursday, March 03, 2005

I'm the worst Mother!!

I certainly feel like the worst Mommy on the planet. I know I'm not; in fact I know I'm doing the right thing, but I really hate it when the right thing makes me feel so sucky.

I've grounded my eldest.

She's got some pretty unsavoury bad habits, and Husband and I have tried for a long time (4 years in some cases) to get her to wise up and behave like a person and not an animal. Yesterday, in the course of a half an hour, she blatantly exhibited the following (degree of offence is on a 1-10 scale 10 being the worst and time We've spent trying to stop said behavior):

I picked her up after school and she...

1) Walked in and out of several private home-owner's flower gardens rather than use the sidewalk.(7 : for seven months)

2) Told me to carry her bag for her..not ask, and never said please. (9 : since she was a year old)

3) Picked her wedgie while walking down the busy street. (4 : for three months)

4) Then chewed on her hair. (4 : three bad habit)

5) Stopped on the pavement, hands on hips, and shrilly shouted "Mummy, Stop telling me what to DO!" (10 : That's my job, it's what I do)

6) She then walked 20 paces behind me, one foot on the lawn of some poor home-owner...just to bug me. (5 (but felt like a 9) : see above)

7) We got home, and she didn't take her shoes off at the door and tramped mud onto the carpet all the way to the stairs. (7 : nine months, since the baby spends all her time on the carpet)

8) She "heavy sighed" me when I asked her, nicely, to carry her lunchbox into the house. (5 : about a year)

9)She walked over her sister, who was sitting on the floor, to fetch the lunchbox rather than walk around her. (10 : nine months, since baby was born)

10) She asked me, nicely, if she could play on the Dreamcast...while jumping on my sofa. (9 : she can use the "P" word when she wants to, but she's NEVER allowed to jump on the furniture)

That was the pre-clincher, I gave her one warning: Be naughty one more time, and you're grounded; no TV, No Dreamcast, No going out to play with her friends. While opening her mouth to complain about that...

11) She wiped her runny nose on the inside of her cardigan while a box of tissues was two feet away from her. (100 : Three years!!!!)


She then had a tantrum about it, called me a "Stupid mean Mummy!" and I grounded her for another day. (It got so easy after the first time.)

After a while she had calmed down, and was behaving herself again. The doorbell rang. It was her two wee pals from across the way. I told her she had to go and tell them she was grounded and not allowed to go out to play. The look of fear and shame that crossed her face was crushing to me. She was terrified to admit she had been naughty.

"Can you come out to play?"

"No...I'm grounded."

"How come?"

"Just stuff. Sorry."

"How long?"

"Today and tomorrow."

"Okay. Bye"


A tear was in her eye and she shuffled her feet upstairs and lay quietly in her bed for about a half hour.
I felt awful, awful, awful.

Still do.


tigerita said...

my brother does the bag thing all the time! and he's almost 22 years old! ever since he was little, he just hands things to my mom, and she carries them and then like an hour later, she's like "wait, why am i holding your jacket? how did i get this in my hands?"

Sask 1 said...

Oh the joys of being a parent.Were we ever like that when we were kids.

Kim said...

Oh No! You are a GREAT mommy. :)

Mere Existence said...

Funny... I think I'd get a kick out of grounding my kids.

Victoria said...

Your a good mom.. she'll thank you in about twenty years.

Blog ho said...

My wife is the grounder. I just smile and nod. So you're better than me ;)

Lyvvie said...

Awww...thanks everyone. I feel a bit better now. I did have to ground her for another day because on the walk home yesterday, she walked through someone's yard again.

She has concrete between her ears sometimes!

Safiyyah said...

On the contrary, I think you're doing a great job. Yes, you may say I have no kids of my own:) But I have worked with kids for many years, and I believe that setting limits like the ones you have is the best way to discipline your child. Yes, it always feels horrible, but sometimes what's easy isn't what's best.
Take care,

Kitten said...

Your doing a great job, L.

And better to nip it in the bud now..then have a surly disobedient teen a few years down the road...

geezer squeezer! said...

its the worst isnt it??you feel like a total wankah!?!?!
but it has to be done.its our jobs.
just 2 days though??? go on,make it a week.

whiskytangofoxtrot said...

(gets down on hands and knees to thank the Almighty Merciful Lord for taking pity on him and giving him boys)

Sounds like you're being just tough enough. My 10yr. old would've had to go and knock on doors to apologize for tromping through someones flowers, I would've 'carrie'd his bag, prolly dropped it in a passing trash can, would've been embarassed LOUDLY by shameless father (me!! *grin*) "PLEASE DON'T PICK YOUR BUTT AGAIN, LIL' BUTT-PICKETY PICKETERSON!" The whole hands on hips thing would've gone this way, "Stop telling me what to DO!" (me quietly in his ear) "son, if you EVER say anything like that to your Mother or I again, not only will every last piece of videotoy you have be smashed to bits in front of your very eyes, but after that I might just kick your disrespectful behind right off the planet!"
Muddy shoes on carpet means hands and knees w/ a damp sponge to clean up after himself, (and no grouching about it either, if you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tuff!)
*heavy sighs* get swift and severe verbal retribution, we have only one recent sighting in the past couple of years.
No jumpin on furniture, no ball playing *of any kind* in the house. Period. Discussions on the subject will be taken up with Furious Exploding Dad.(no takers yet)
The "runny nose" thing raised it's ugly head here this w/end. Used his mothers quilt (that her late gramma had made for her when she was a teenager) to wipe disgusting runny snot off his face, when tissue box was less than 5' away, causing Furious Exploding Dad(tm) Emergency Alarms to go to condition threat level "End of entire world or at least 1 certain 10yr.old boy)
needless to say, after the alarms went off scaring the wide-eyed shit out of every 10yr.old boy in the room (1)
It was determined by concencus vote of all in the room (3, me, him and the wiff) that that sort of REPREHENSIBLE behavior would never rear it's ugly face in our now back to happy home, ever, EVER, AND I FUCKING MEAN NEVER, again.
Tantrums (not tolerated, not for one instant) and name-calling (refer to Furious Exploding Dad Emergency Alarms(tm)in previous paragraph)are now non-existant.

Grounded for two days?? My son laughs in the general direction of your cute lil' punishment. He also wants to know when he can move in!