Friday, January 21, 2005
Highly Random Bollocks...
I had a phrase stuck in my head...soylent green. I've found out Soylent green is people...what bad grammar...They should say Soylent green are people, they have feelings you know. Like the Inuits, they may live in a cold place and have some numb body parts but they can feel some things, tactually speaking. Why they're green I don't know. Maybe they live on ships?
Why is it when those guys who walk to the Poles and end up with their noses frozen off, it goes all black and icky? I read a story about a guy who went up Mt. Everest a couple times and thought he got through the ordeal amazingly well. He was lying in the bathtub all hot and steamy, completely relaxed, when he noticed a couple of his toes floating around. But they weren't black, that would've been a big red flag.
Where do you ever see big red flags anymore? Safety warning colors are now neon orange...should we be saying "that was a big neon orange flag that something was wrong."? A red flag is still used to annoy bulls in bullfighting, so a red flag would be an invitation to have a fight.
If a hill walker takes a compass, does he then become an Outdoor Adventurer?? And if an Outdoor Adventurer takes a bow and arrow, some flint and a pocket fisherman, is he now a Weekend Warrior? What if a Weekend Warrior only has a Saturday to go out because he needs to be at his Mom's house for Sunday dinner...is he demoted to Outdoor Adventurer? Where to guys who play paint ball fit into all this? And does the Territorial Army laugh at all of them?
If you define the boundaries will the Territorial Army protect only within those boundaries, or will they all just run around saying "This is mine and for my country, I shall protect it with my life!" brandishing neon orange flags?
One hot summer day I was sitting in the back yard with my Dad. We were drinking lemonade and feeling content. Not needing to say much other than "sure is hot...Yup, sure is." When all of a sudden we noticed a whole lot of black ants running around on the driveway. "That's a lot of ants..." "Yeah, hey, lookit that." Within seconds, there were thousands of ants, black ones and red ones. We realized were sitting in the middle of a major turf war. There was only one thing my Dad and I could do; lift our feet, light a cigarette and take a bet who was going to win. I chose black, they'd taken to the field early to set their troops in position. It was a spectacular display of murder, assault, carnage and nature. Five minutes later it was over. The driveway was a bloodless sprawl of ant bodies. I won the bet. "Lookit, some of them have wings.." "Weird...I'll get the hose." And I cleared away the carnage. Topped up the lemonade in our glasses and said, "Damn it's hot."
Okay...I'm done for now